The bottom dropped...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by everywoman, May 11, 2009.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    out of my world at 4:30 am. I woke up to difficult child screaming and crying---"I don't know what happened." He had tried to attack pcdaughter while she was sleeping. She apparently woke up and punched him and got him away from her. He swears he was not awake---he has had incidents of sleepwalking in the past, but he's also attacked her in the past on purposeI don't know whether to believe him or not. easy child has said to kick him out or she has to find somewhere else to live. My world has crumbled...
    He was doing so well for so long! There has been no inkling that this would happen. Oh God! Please reach out and help us through this!
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Kat....I am so sorry! This is so awful for everyone. Argh. He has been doing so well. I thought easy child daughter was living away from home right now?

    Ya know, I almost believe that difficult child may have been sleepwalking. Hasnt he been working a ton of hours lately and not getting very many hours of sleep every night? That could play right into a sleep disorder. Jamie has sleepwalked before and while he never attacked anyone, he used to walk quite fast and talk about things while doing it.

    Lordy...this has just got to be devastating to you guys. My prayers are with you.
  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Oh my goodness. I am SO sorry.
    I can see my young difficult child doing something similar to my easy child a couple years ago. I don't know what to say. Is he seeing a psychiatrist?

    I can only imagine the trauma your easy child just experienced...that is pretty scary.

    Will say a prayer that somehow someway difficult child will change his behavior and that your easy child will heal in time.

    Love and gentle hugs,
  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I am so sorry. easy child is right that she needs to get away from him. Even if he was sleep walking it shows an underlying anamosity toward her which is substiantiated by his previous assaults. in my humble opinion, Untill he works through those issues she is not truly safe around him.

    Is he taking any sleep medications? Some of them can cause this type of incident. -RM
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending hugs, EW. I'm so sorry. Is there a lock on easy child's door at least for the interim?
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sending hugs to you and easy child. You really MUST take easy child's side on this. it really doesn't matter if he was awake or not - he still attacked her. in my opinion it is MORE scary if it was in his sleep. That would indicate that NO ONE is safe around him.

    Is easy child going to press charges against him? It might be a way to get services for him, but it might not.

    I am so very sorry. I know the pain of having one child attack the other. I would not wish it on anyone.

  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    How horrifying! They just featured this on Grey's Anatomy. One of the docs has PTSD and he tried to choke Cristina in his sleep. She moved out, he's getting therapy. Granted it's fiction but one has to wonder how true to life some of this stuff is.

    I'm just so sorry. What a dreadful predicament.

    Does difficult child have a doctor he sees that you could call for advice?

  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Saying prayers for strength.
    I agree that easy child needs to be kept safe, whatever else you all decide to do. Does easy child have a lock on her bedroom door, as a temporary measure?

    I'm so very very sorry.

  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What about that apt you have? Can one of them go stay there? Im really hoping in my heart that this was in his sleep. I have family that has the sleep stuff so I can empathize there and wouldnt call the cops on it if he was asleep.

    Suz...ya know, this was also on a Law and Order show not to long ago where a cop was on medication and sleepwalked out into a subway and was framed for a murder. Obvious the medication they were implying was ambien and it was more drama than all this but the cop had no idea he was doing anything in his sleep.
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    "He swears he was awake." BULLSHEET -

    I have sleptwalked for years - I have no recall of anything I do - NONE - but had I done something I woudln't have to say "I swear I was sleeping."

    She needs to get out NOW. TODAY -

    I'm so sorry Jo - you don't need her to go through this - Tell her he can go get help on his own and when he's certified better - if she's still interested she can choose to take him back.

    I'm not buying it. AND as an auntie - I'm JUST MAD AS .......
  11. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. I know you will pull everyone together and get the right thing done. Unfortunately, there aren't any "ready made" answers to this.
  12. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Hmmmm...if this story line has been used in two predominant tv shows recently, it makes me wonder if difficult child watches either - or both- of these shows? And would seeing them give him an idea either consciously or unconsciously?

    What a heartache, EW. I hope you can get to the bottom of this soon without anyone getting hurt any further. I'm so sad for you.

  13. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Yes I too am sad for you. Maybe you can take difficult child to a doctor for his sleep problems and explain to them what happened. I am sure your easy child daughter will be kinda afraid at night. She does need to lock her door. The things we go through are ridiculous. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
  14. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Big deadbolt on easy child's bedroom door. Unfortunately, she has to protect herself but you can't throw difficult child out for being troubled if he is trying so hard.
    This is the time that you require the wisdom of Solomon. Both children need your support, help and understanding.
    Big deadbolt.
  15. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Big hugs from someone that had to put the lock on my easy child's door to keep her safe. Right there behind you holding you up through this.

  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm so sorry, ew! difficult child was doing so well.

    Had his behavior changed at all during the day??

    Possible medication reaction??

    Sleepwalking can be dangerous. (as you've discovered) Both to the sleepwalker as well as to the family. Depends on the behavior they do while sleepwalking.

    easy child was a sleepwalker for years. And she honestly had no clue what she was doing while asleep. No memory at all. And she'd go downstairs and all sorts of stuff until I put baby gates all over the house.

    Get a big dead bolt for easy child's bedroom door. Get one for yours too. Then make an appointment at the neuro and the psychiatrist asap. Both docs are necessary. If it's not a reaction/side effect of a medication, then it's neuro related.

    Hate to see you have to force difficult child to leave when he's been trying so hard. But understand the position this puts you in.

    Prayers going up for all of you.

  17. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so, so sorry. How frightening for easy child. Hugs and prayers going out to all of you.
  18. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Deadbolting her door isn't the only answer. She can't stay in her room all the time. What if they are alone in the house during the day and he decides to attack her again....(playing devil's advocate here). Is it fair to her to always feel unsafe in her own home?

    I'm sorry EW. You are in such a tough position.
  19. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. I know you are devastated and hurt and feel kicked in the gut.

    I hope you can get this sorted out and come up with a plan.

    Big hugs,
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This has me so upset I hardly slept all night. I am so worried for all of you. I just dont want to believe one of the difficult child's that was on the right path could do this.

    I had horrible dreams that I got a call from Cory that he had been arrested and then I came on the board to find out Dude was arrested and then SLSH posted that thank you got arrested. It was just an awful night for me. I guess it was like seeing one fall made me think they would all fall.