Pats girl???
This is NOT easy to do, and it will take a lot of digging into the "I WILL NOT" to do it. You won't learn it over night, you will fail, you will succeed, and you will cry, get angry, and it will hurt worse than anything - but if you love your daughter and want to see her learn something and be something on her own? You have to try, and keep trying. I know - I'm doing the best I can to do the same with Dude. I tell myself every day - I will not be maniuplated.
When he called and said he was eating out of dumpsters? I knew at first this was an underhanded plea for "wire me money" instead I said
Well at least you are smart enough to know to get to the food before it spoils
How clever of you to use the dumpsters at the better food places
I'm surprised they don't keep locks on them, they do here - you're lucky to be where they don't lock them
You know there are soup kitchens there too.
How about Food Stamps?
Don't think that hurt me to the core? Don't think I didn't cry like a baby when I got off the phone? Don't think I wasn't mad at him for trying? Well his biodad in his infinte stupidity had claimed him without him knowing, and sold the foodstamps for drugs. He didn't know you could get fs, he thought you had to have children, when he went to find out, he was told about his dad, and it caused problems - YOU eat out of a dumpster and find out your dad is using you for drugs -AGAIN.
Hunger is a great motivator....he's been filling out applications, and to do that? You have to walk, or ride a bike. It's hot. So he wants a car. To do that? You need money, to get that? You need a job. It's a vicious circle, but until you show me you're not just jerking off - and playing around? Diver down. He has been contacted for a few upcoming interviews, and we did send him some clothes - so things are improving for him and he WANTS and NEEDS a job. Big difference between I need a job for "hair gel" and I want and need a job to buy food and pay the bills. When no one helps you? You only have yourself to rely on. When you start to realize that? You move your butt. No rides, no food, no comforts from Mom and Dad? Your friends get tired of you leaching? You really have to take a hard look at yourself and start asking some real life questions about what you want out of yourself and what YOU expect out of yourself.
IF ......your parents are tough enough to stay out of the way - because - your friends will be eventually.
Sending you hugs. And the power of ignoring.