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The child we'd kn adopted as an older kid
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 43165" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I'm one of those who agrees with the "It ain't over til it's over." </p><p></p><p>I am not entirely the same person I was at 18, or even in my 20's. Life has taught me many lessons along the way. I've had my thinking readjusted more times than I can count. Life can be a humbling experience as you move thru it.</p><p></p><p>There is no way of knowing what the future will hold.</p><p></p><p>I thought of stepgfg today and my heart ached. It hurts to think of all she is denying herself. And I felt like someone punched me in my heart when the kids told me at my Mother's day dinner that they think of stepgfg as dead, and when people ask that is how they refer to her. But I really can't fault them too much as I classify my own feelings within the relm of someone grieving a loved one who has passed on. If they need to deal with her behavior that way, who am I to judge them. I just gently reminded them that they have no way of knowing what tomorrow will bring.</p><p></p><p>For what it's worth, bio kids can do the same thing. My sis who is the middle child pretty much shrugged off the entire family when she left for the military at 18. She was chasing the Dream of a better life she'd had for herself. Nothing more than that. She distanced herself so well that my Mom was shocked I hadn't seen this sis in person for over 10 yrs. No bad blood. Just distance.</p><p></p><p>Now this sis is realizing that the Dream she was chasing was an illusion of grandeaur. Money doesn't make everything rosey and sweet. There are no Happily Ever After's in real Life. Now pushing 50 with her kids grown and now distancing themselves from Her, she's had her eyes opened to what being family means. For the past year or so she's been working hard to mend those distant relationships. I used to resent her. These days I'm just sad for what all she missed. I'm just glad her eyes were opened before she found herself completely alone.</p><p></p><p>These types of holidays really bug me. They set people up to be hurt. If your really appreciate the important people in your lives you shouldn't need a made up day to make them feel special. They should already know it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 43165, member: 84"] I'm one of those who agrees with the "It ain't over til it's over." I am not entirely the same person I was at 18, or even in my 20's. Life has taught me many lessons along the way. I've had my thinking readjusted more times than I can count. Life can be a humbling experience as you move thru it. There is no way of knowing what the future will hold. I thought of stepgfg today and my heart ached. It hurts to think of all she is denying herself. And I felt like someone punched me in my heart when the kids told me at my Mother's day dinner that they think of stepgfg as dead, and when people ask that is how they refer to her. But I really can't fault them too much as I classify my own feelings within the relm of someone grieving a loved one who has passed on. If they need to deal with her behavior that way, who am I to judge them. I just gently reminded them that they have no way of knowing what tomorrow will bring. For what it's worth, bio kids can do the same thing. My sis who is the middle child pretty much shrugged off the entire family when she left for the military at 18. She was chasing the Dream of a better life she'd had for herself. Nothing more than that. She distanced herself so well that my Mom was shocked I hadn't seen this sis in person for over 10 yrs. No bad blood. Just distance. Now this sis is realizing that the Dream she was chasing was an illusion of grandeaur. Money doesn't make everything rosey and sweet. There are no Happily Ever After's in real Life. Now pushing 50 with her kids grown and now distancing themselves from Her, she's had her eyes opened to what being family means. For the past year or so she's been working hard to mend those distant relationships. I used to resent her. These days I'm just sad for what all she missed. I'm just glad her eyes were opened before she found herself completely alone. These types of holidays really bug me. They set people up to be hurt. If your really appreciate the important people in your lives you shouldn't need a made up day to make them feel special. They should already know it. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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The child we'd kn adopted as an older kid
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