Long time observer and first time poster here. My husband and I just don't know what to do about Christmas this year. A little background...this is a second marriage for both of us though we've been together for quite a while. Between us we have three children. My son - 15, fairly well adjusted, easygoing, laid back, openly gay (very well supported by everyone) and lives with us. His youngest daughter - 15, normal teen girl, loves fashion and books, not a very close relationship with us, lives with his ex wife (not her biological mother). And his eldest, our difficult child - 17, pregnant with her second child, first child was seized by children's aide and father has custody, has two grade nine credits (should be in grade 12), moved out when 16, now living in a shelter, refuses to live at home. While we struggle daily with how we can help/fix 17D's life, we are also facing how do we have a Christmas celebration that includes her? We can't shop for her the same we would for the other two - she lives in a shelter and can't have a lot of things there. If we give her money it goes to her boyfriend for drugs and booze. But if we don't spoil her like the others we are "bad parents" and don't love her and then she's out of our lives again. Yet the other two kids have done nothing wrong and shouldn't be penalized by not having the usual Christmas. I had thought to get her warm clothes and toiletries, but know it won't be good enough. We would like to have her here during Christmas break with the other two kids as she gets a two week pass without losing her spot at the shelter - and I'll know she's fed and safe. But I foresee disaster coming from this as well. I normally love Christmas but this year I'm already dreading it. Can anyone offer advice about what to do when you have one difficult and two easy kids at Christmas?