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Substance Abuse
The continuing Rollercoaster of pain and despair
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 707104" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. I am sorry for you. When someone uses "mum," I assume they are not in the U.S. and sadly I have no knowledge of services in any other country. They don't have any here, really,if the person is 18 or over.</p><p></p><p>My answer to You is that your son is an adult who is choosing to act in an noncceptable way. In my particular home, violence is no tolerance. Violence is more than just striking another person, i learned when I volunteered in a domestic abuse center. There is standing in your face, angry verbal violence, breaking items on purpose including putting fists through walls is violence, screaming is violence, spitting is violence. Your son was violent in that car ride. I suspect he is violent often. I personally would make him leave, stop trying to find solutions that he doesn't honor or appreciate and stop believing there is anything you can do to change him. His behavior suggests drug abuse and danger and only one person can change him...And that is himself. A person can not change another person. You have seen this. On some level you know this. Let him block you. Sadly he will be back as soon as he wants something from you. Enjoy the peace until then. Don't beg him...He will lose any respect he may still have for you and just act worse. Don't give him so much power over your life.</p><p></p><p>It is time for him to man up. Or not. It is his life and only he can make it good. In the meantime, you have an obligation to yourself and your other loved ones to be good to one another and to not allow this one son to ruin your life or suck the air out of your world. You tried that. It didn't work. It wont work. It never works unless THEY want it.</p><p></p><p>Your son is, like many adults who bring us here, not nice right now and even dangerous. Take care of yourself first. You can't think of him as a helpless cute little boy anymore and you can't kiss it and make it better. Society sees a man. So must you in order to realize your limitations.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and put yourself first now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 707104, member: 1550"] Hi. I am sorry for you. When someone uses "mum," I assume they are not in the U.S. and sadly I have no knowledge of services in any other country. They don't have any here, really,if the person is 18 or over. My answer to You is that your son is an adult who is choosing to act in an noncceptable way. In my particular home, violence is no tolerance. Violence is more than just striking another person, i learned when I volunteered in a domestic abuse center. There is standing in your face, angry verbal violence, breaking items on purpose including putting fists through walls is violence, screaming is violence, spitting is violence. Your son was violent in that car ride. I suspect he is violent often. I personally would make him leave, stop trying to find solutions that he doesn't honor or appreciate and stop believing there is anything you can do to change him. His behavior suggests drug abuse and danger and only one person can change him...And that is himself. A person can not change another person. You have seen this. On some level you know this. Let him block you. Sadly he will be back as soon as he wants something from you. Enjoy the peace until then. Don't beg him...He will lose any respect he may still have for you and just act worse. Don't give him so much power over your life. It is time for him to man up. Or not. It is his life and only he can make it good. In the meantime, you have an obligation to yourself and your other loved ones to be good to one another and to not allow this one son to ruin your life or suck the air out of your world. You tried that. It didn't work. It wont work. It never works unless THEY want it. Your son is, like many adults who bring us here, not nice right now and even dangerous. Take care of yourself first. You can't think of him as a helpless cute little boy anymore and you can't kiss it and make it better. Society sees a man. So must you in order to realize your limitations. Hugs and put yourself first now. [/QUOTE]
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The continuing Rollercoaster of pain and despair
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