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Substance Abuse
The continuing Rollercoaster of pain and despair
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 707107" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Lost in Sadness:</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure how old your son is but the abuse you, your husband and your daughter are taking from him is unacceptable.</p><p></p><p>You cannot save him. He has to save himself. You are enabling him by letting this behavior continue. It sounds like drug abuse to me also or he is mentally ill.</p><p></p><p>We have been through many years of bad behavior with our son and finally (after reading this forum and talking to a professional in addiction) offered either rehab or a homeless shelter - he had no place to go. He took rehab and after 30 days there, husband took him to Florida for continued treatment. He rejected most of it but after six months finally seems to be getting it together. I figured he was not going to do THIS in MY home. I was no longer going to be a prisoner to his bad behaviors. </p><p></p><p>You can see by my signature that we've been through a lot. We figured if he's in Florida he can sleep on the beach if he is homeless. We are in Chicago and winters are brutal but I'm okay with him being on a beach. He had to decide if he wanted to continue to do drugs and make poor choices. Fine with us but not under our nose. He has to decide what kind of person he wants to be and what kind of life he wants to live. </p><p></p><p>He is making progress but it's slow. We are helping him as little as possible. He is working 30 hours and taking a class. He knows if he loses his job he will be homeless. We expect him to pay part of his rent and for his food and gas. He never could hold a job before but now he has to do it and he is and he likes it. I have been in therapy since June and it's not the first time. It helps.</p><p></p><p>If I were you I'd not let him return home. He doesn't deserve to be with the family. You will have to toughen up and set boundaries and it probably will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do but you need it and HE needs it also. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Not my quote but it's true.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting here because it helps. I go back and read where I've been and how far we've all come and it is a good feeling. There are so many of us that are suffering and it's good to know you're not alone.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and stay strong!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 707107, member: 15032"] Lost in Sadness: I'm not sure how old your son is but the abuse you, your husband and your daughter are taking from him is unacceptable. You cannot save him. He has to save himself. You are enabling him by letting this behavior continue. It sounds like drug abuse to me also or he is mentally ill. We have been through many years of bad behavior with our son and finally (after reading this forum and talking to a professional in addiction) offered either rehab or a homeless shelter - he had no place to go. He took rehab and after 30 days there, husband took him to Florida for continued treatment. He rejected most of it but after six months finally seems to be getting it together. I figured he was not going to do THIS in MY home. I was no longer going to be a prisoner to his bad behaviors. You can see by my signature that we've been through a lot. We figured if he's in Florida he can sleep on the beach if he is homeless. We are in Chicago and winters are brutal but I'm okay with him being on a beach. He had to decide if he wanted to continue to do drugs and make poor choices. Fine with us but not under our nose. He has to decide what kind of person he wants to be and what kind of life he wants to live. He is making progress but it's slow. We are helping him as little as possible. He is working 30 hours and taking a class. He knows if he loses his job he will be homeless. We expect him to pay part of his rent and for his food and gas. He never could hold a job before but now he has to do it and he is and he likes it. I have been in therapy since June and it's not the first time. It helps. If I were you I'd not let him return home. He doesn't deserve to be with the family. You will have to toughen up and set boundaries and it probably will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do but you need it and HE needs it also. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Not my quote but it's true. Keep posting here because it helps. I go back and read where I've been and how far we've all come and it is a good feeling. There are so many of us that are suffering and it's good to know you're not alone. Hugs and stay strong! [/QUOTE]
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The continuing Rollercoaster of pain and despair
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