T
TeDo
Guest
Bear with me while I explain some things before I vent. My boys were 3 1/2 years old when I found out my teenage babysitter, whom I've known since she was born, was sexually abusing them. easy child seemed to be okay but difficult child had all the classic signs, bedwetting, night terrors, not wanting to be touched, etc. I found a wonderful therapist that worked wonders with the boys. After a few months, difficult child's symptoms went away except the touching. He still has trouble with touch from anyone except me. His trust in people was destroyed and this is still an issue today. I am the only one he thoroughly trusts. The whole situation was never talked about in front of them because I was hoping and praying that they would forget all about it. They have. They have never said a word about it and I prefer to keep it that way.
Here's the rest. difficult child's new IEP now includes resource room time every day as well as therapy with the school-based mental health professional. I was all for this because it is the therapist he saw for the abuse and so she knew some of his history. I have learned today that apparently I made a HUGE mistake. He met with her for the first time during the last 30 min of the school day. He came out to the van after school and the first words out of his mouth were "What did the babysitter do to me when I was little?" I was floored so I asked, "What do you mean?" He told me that the therapist asked him if he remembered anything about what a babysitter did to him. Of course, he has no clue what she was talking about. I refuse to tell him because I don't want to go back through the **** we went through then. He is not mature enough or in a good enough place to be able to handle this right now.
This evening has been a nightmare for me. He has been yelling at me about everything from homework to supper and everything in between. He is obviously very angry because I'm sure he knows there is something I'm keeping from him and I can just feel the trust he had in me melting away. I am really afraid of what is going to happen with him now. Things were actually getting better at home and now this. I sent her an email letting her know how angry I am, how angry difficult child is, and why. It is up to me what difficult child knows and what he doesn't as far as this stuff goes. He still has no clue because I don't know what to say to him but knows there is something so he is angry. The only person he has ever trusted just betrayed him. I just want to cry for him and for me. There is no way he can handle the truth but I don't know what to tell him. I know he will keep asking. I don't want to lie to him. I don't want him to know the truth right now.
I just don't know what to do.
Here's the rest. difficult child's new IEP now includes resource room time every day as well as therapy with the school-based mental health professional. I was all for this because it is the therapist he saw for the abuse and so she knew some of his history. I have learned today that apparently I made a HUGE mistake. He met with her for the first time during the last 30 min of the school day. He came out to the van after school and the first words out of his mouth were "What did the babysitter do to me when I was little?" I was floored so I asked, "What do you mean?" He told me that the therapist asked him if he remembered anything about what a babysitter did to him. Of course, he has no clue what she was talking about. I refuse to tell him because I don't want to go back through the **** we went through then. He is not mature enough or in a good enough place to be able to handle this right now.
This evening has been a nightmare for me. He has been yelling at me about everything from homework to supper and everything in between. He is obviously very angry because I'm sure he knows there is something I'm keeping from him and I can just feel the trust he had in me melting away. I am really afraid of what is going to happen with him now. Things were actually getting better at home and now this. I sent her an email letting her know how angry I am, how angry difficult child is, and why. It is up to me what difficult child knows and what he doesn't as far as this stuff goes. He still has no clue because I don't know what to say to him but knows there is something so he is angry. The only person he has ever trusted just betrayed him. I just want to cry for him and for me. There is no way he can handle the truth but I don't know what to tell him. I know he will keep asking. I don't want to lie to him. I don't want him to know the truth right now.
I just don't know what to do.