The Countdown Begins

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by GoingNorth, Mar 26, 2015.

  1. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    And I'm a nervous wreck.

    My "transition mechanism" burned out during my years as an Army wife and in the first few years after husband died".

    I've lived in N. WI for 12 years now. Longer than I've lived anywhere since I left home.

    I'm settled here. But, it's time to move closer to what is left of my family and the few friends I have.

    This means selling the dumpy trailer I have and moving lock, stock, and barrel to the IL/WI state line.

    I made the first moves today. Spoke with a realtor who will be coming out next week to view the place and set a price. I have a couple coming out to deep-clean, and get the crapola out from under the carport and get rid of the large clutter that has accumulated over the years and that I can now no longer get rid of myself because my arthritis has gotten too bad.

    After the cleaners finish de-junking the place, and after the price is set, the place will be listed with xxx realtors. The sign goes up and the showings begin. If all goes well, I hope to have the place sold this summer. If all really goes well, I'll have found a nice, 1 Bedroom apt in SE WI that I can afford in the 30 days between closing and new occupancy.

    I've heavily researched apts in that area and found that the 2 cats are not a problem in enough complexes that I should be able to find a place that accepts them, though will have to pay a "pet deposit" and possibly a surcharge on my rent monthly.

    The problem is that I'm already freaking out over the move and if all goes well, I won't be moving until the end of summer. Heck,it might take me a lot longer than that to sell this place.

    It's just going to be very weird to go back to the heavy traffic, harried people, etc., after getting used to the slower pace of life up here.

    on the other hand, I do look forward to the variety in the stores, not having to order spices, being able to buy ethnic foods and ingredients, etc., being able to find shoes that fit and real clothes that fit. Being able comparison shop, and not freaking out at the thought of Amazon going out of business.

    It's a huge transition. I wonder if I can get through it without having a meltdown or two of my own.
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  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Yes you can.

    Find ways to preserve your own schedule and space (harder when showing a house, I know). You've already started the search on the "to" location - keep that up, so that you don't have a last-minute panic. And come up with a Plan C (in our family, it would be camping for a couple of months if we don't land the right thing)...
  3. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    My plan C is to stay, with cats, in a long term residency hotel, of which there are several in the area due to proximity to "office parks". The "rooms" are sort of suites, with kitchenettes, and the extra cost for cooking facilities and fridges are offset by the savings in being able to store groceries and cook for oneself as opposed to eating out for 3 meals a day.

    I also have an offer to stay with friends in Milwaukee, but that would probably stress the cats too badly as they have 3 small dogs, and stairs that I'd have trouble handling. I might take them up on it as it would save me a considerable sum of cash and I could confine the cats to the upstairs bedroom in which I'd be staying, have free laundry privileges, etc.

    I would of course, pay rent to them, chip in on my share of utilities and all of that, and contribute towards food, chores, etc.

    It would also give me somewhere to have my mail forwarded to.

    I nope I can get my psychiatrist to write scrips for 6 mos to cover me. I take two medications that are class III drugs and it may take me some time to find a psychiatrist at my new place of residence.
  4. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I completely understand how you feel. I was born and raised in CO, my husband was born and raised in IL but he moved to CO. The time came when I knew that it was time for husband and I move back to his hometown to help take care of his parents. I left a great job that I had been at for 20 years, the same for husband. It took us about a year to plan the move but we had no idea what we would do for jobs once we moved here. We have been here for closer to 15 years now.
    All the planning I did helped but it was still hard, I had no friends here and the whole style of the Midwest is very different than CO.
    Someone once told me "Bloom where you're planted" that little statement really helped.
    It was also hard because when we moved here my Difficult Child was still in jail in CO.
    I'm so happy that you are taking your cats with you. Our beloved pets can offer so much love and comfort to us. (I hate it when people move and can't take their pets with them)
    I have no doubt that you will traverse this move well. You have your ducks in a row and that is a great place to start.
    Wishing you all the best and looking forward to hearing about your adventure.
  5. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    So, I'm still stressing. Managed to find all the paperwork on the place (I am not the most organized person on the planet and mobile homes are titled, just like autos are.), in the file I put it in, no less.

    In the process, I found my birth certificate, husband's birth certificate, husband's military paperwork, husband's death certificate, his autopsy report, and our marriage certificates. All in all rather depressing, though I'll need the birth certificate to prove ID if I wind up in IL, which is very unlikely based on what my research has shown me so far on rents on the IL side of the state line.

    The paperwork safe travels with me in the car, I don't trust that to go into storage. It's just a small, fireproof safe, but my and Stu's "life history" is in that safe, and it's saved my bacon plenty of times.

    I also called park mgmt. to tell them that I was putting the place on the market and to ask them if there was anything I needed to do on their end. Beyond making sure that the realtor has buyers fill out an application before completing sale, no.

    I did find out that that mgmt. is now doing criminal and credit checks on prospective residents, which they were not doing at the time I moved in.

    I suspect this is a case of one meth lab too many.

    So, things are moving right along.
  6. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    When we made the move from CO to IL, I too kept all important papers in a fireproof safe that stayed with me. It was nice not having to worry about that.

    It's a stressful thing to make a big move, I hope you are taking time to just relax. I also know how it is to come across things that take us down memory lane. I had many of those moments when packing up our house, lots of tears and lots of laughter. It can be so draining. Make sure you take care of yourself and don't over do it.
  7. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I feel for you GoingNorth. Moving is way up there on the stress chart. But, like Tanya said, with planning and the incentive to move, which you have, it will be a bit easier.

    We just moved last summer. I lived in the same town for 32 was hard. But we bit the bullet and I am pretty organized......and it was still stressful. But, once the move was done and we got to our new place, it all started to smooth out. Life transitions are hard, we humans just don't do change too well, especially when we're been in one place a long time like you have.

    Yeah, I remember going through all these boxes in the garage and finding photo albums, old journals, was sad in some ways, but it was also cathartic too.......a real letting go time........

    Take care of yourself through it all........make sure you're well nourished during the whole process......and ask for help if you require it.........
  8. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I just was thinking of you GN and I was remembering all the times I moved, how crummy the move was for the most part, all the organizing, the stress, the memories, the letting go........but you know what? Once I was in the new place, life opened up in ways I hadn't thought of, new possibilities, new opportunities. And, I don't know if this is any kind of indicator, but the harder the move, the more I had to let go of, the bigger the "rewards" once I got to where I was going. Something ended and it was tough for awhile, but then...........well..........a whole new beginning.............hold on to that thought.........I believe it to be the truth.......

    This last move for me was pretty tough emotionally. Granddaughter left for college......I moved out of my little town which I loved......moved into an over 55 HOA........turned 65 (YIKES!!) Medicare (YIKES!).......a BIG life transition for it's been 7 months now.......and geez, I am really starting to enjoy this new was a bump, no doubt about it......but is really good! I see that in your future too (I am in Northern California, so we're all psychics here!!!)
  9. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    The other thing that is going to be very weird about this is that I'm going to be living in an apartment for the first time since 1992, and for the first time since 79 not on the top floor. (I am insisting on a first or ground floor due to my knees and stairs not getting along.)

    It's going to be a huge adjustment, though my house in Chicago had stairs, once husband became ill, we moved the bedroom to the main floor.

    So many things to get used to, but yes, it will be a new start. I'm sure it'll try my nerves: I'll have trouble sleeping. I'll have to find new doctors/therapist, etc.
  10. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    RE. I will be 55 in July and am considering a "seniors" complex if I can find one I can afford that will allow the cats.

    I think such a complex will be quieter, which is important to me.
  11. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    The other thing that is going to be very weird about this is that I'm going to be living in an apartment for the first time since 1992, and for the first time since 79 not on the top floor. (I am insisting on a first or ground floor due to my knees and stairs not getting along.)

    It's going to be a huge adjustment, though my house in Chicago had stairs, once husband became ill, we moved the bedroom to the main floor.
  12. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yeah, the over 55 places are MUCH more quiet. I like quiet too. As a friend of mine says, "quiet is the new loud!"
  13. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Well, I spent most of the day researching and talking to apt complex managers at various locations from the Southern Milwaukee Suburbs South to the state line with IL.

    I found that the state line isn't going to work as those areas have become bedroom communities of Chicago and the rents are priced accordingly.

    I did find several very nice complexes in suburbs of Milwaukee, spoke with the managers for details, was emailed brochures, and have gone through the initial application process and been approved and put on a wait list for openings at the end of the summer. All that would remain to be done once I actually sell the place and choose a complex and apartment would be the credit check and criminal background check (and payment of fees for same)

    I did verify with all the managers that my FICO score is high enough that the credit check is a mere formality but still has to be done. I don't have to worry about the criminal check as I have a clean record.

    So, I will be staying with my friends which promises to be interesting,to say the least, as they refuse to work out a formal financial "rent" agreement and just told me to pay whatever I think is fair. So now I have to find out what a room with kitchen privileges goes for in Milwaukee and take it from there, I guess.

    The logistics become mind-boggling the more I think about this. I worry about Thomas and Squeaky as they really want to see them integrated into the household as opposed to living in one room.

    Three small dogs and one rather squirrely senior cat. Should be interesting, given that both Thomas and Squeaky are a bit on the weird side themselves.
  14. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You got a lot done today. How long will you be spending with your friends?
  15. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    It's always interesting moving with pets. I do hope the kitty's will transition well.
  16. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    RE, Hopefully no longer than a couple of months. My big fear is that we'll drive each other batsh*t crazy. We're both on the spectrum and she has some anger issues and I have some of my own issues. She and her wife argue, that freaks me out, etc.

    Luckily, I'll be staying in the guest room upstairs which means I can hide if needed, and I plan on doing plenty of that.

    I'll probably cop out and spend some time with my mother as well, just to get away from the situation.

    We'll see how it goes. The ideal will be my place selling quickly, and my only having to wait a short time to move into an apartment. The worst case scenario is my place taking a while to sell and my having to pay utilities and lot rent on this place while paying for an apartment as well, which will eat up my savings very quickly.

    Tammy, yes moving with pets is always interesting, but not moving with them is out of the question. They are my family, too.
  17. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I understand, I stayed with a friend for awhile in-between homes years ago and I got really good at being the invisible woman. It actually worked out well because I kept such a low profile, I know how to do that when I have to. It's good though that you have your mother as an option. And, it may all work out in timing so the stay with your friend is minimized, I hope so. I hope you sell your house as soon as it goes on the market. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you......
  18. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    GoingNorth, I wish the best and hope your move goes smoothly for you and your cats :)
  19. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Well, I got a call back from the one complex I've settled on pending on-site approval. (They have a fantastic digital tour of the various apartments they offer, but I still would want to see the actual apartment I'd be renting, take photos and video before move-in for my records, etc.)

    I'd asked to be put on a wait-list for a July or August move-in and had messed up the terminology. What I was looking for was a ground level apartment where you have walk-out glass doors onto a patio or terrace. They put me down for a "garden" apartment, which is partially sunken. To me, as a Chicagoan, we don't dress up those apartments: we call them "basement apartments", and that's not what I want at all.

    So, we got that straightened out to the tune of another 80 dollars a month in rent, plus 40 dollars a month "cat rent" for the two cats. At least I'd finally have a solid excuse for the people who are constantly begging me to take on one or more cats. The complex only allows 2 cats per unit.

    My monthly income still falls within in their parameters for the higher rent on the "patio" apartment.

    They come with washer and dryer and glory glory, heat is INCLUDED, which is a huge savings for me, even though its a lot warmer down there than it is up here in the winters and I like a cold house.

    Complex has walking and jogging trails, community gardens, an outdoor pool, a clubhouse, and sounds absolutely beautiful. Reviews are very good and the people I've spoken to so far in management seem to be very nice.

    The also have quiet hours from 10PM to 7AM, which is nice, even though I keep very late hours, I listen to music with headphones and may not even have TV.

    I cracked my mother up. The apartments have dishwashers and garbage disposals, neither of which I have EVER used. My mother has volunteered, if I provide transportation, to come out and teach me how to use them, LOL!

    I've already volunteered her to help me pick out towels and window treaments wherever I wind up living. I have NO eye for this sort of thing at all. husband did the decorating when he was still alive.

    So now, mum is getting excited, or will be getting excited once she gets the tooth that she woke up with killing her yanked. So far she's got antibiotics and will have to wait until the infection pipes down before it can be yanked.

    She could use a little bead rattling. She's got the same "take narcotics and lay down before you fall down" problem that I have, and since she doesn't have anyone availalble to stay with her and is 80 years old and afraid of breaking a hip, she can't take anything stronger than ibuprofen.
  20. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Bead rattling and all kinds of good wishes going out to your Mom GN......hope she is on the mend.

    You sure are on the case getting things done. I know how difficult it all is, especially as we get older, but from what I can read, you really are doing a good job, you've got everything lined up, now it's just wait and see and time........ The apartments sound very nice.......

    This moves sounds so timely and 'right' and from my way of thinking when something is 'right,' things seem to progress smoothly.