Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The Cycle
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 753816" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I wonder. Without knowing</p><p></p><p>Has anyone read "A Child Called It," about and by David Pelzer? This man was severely physically abused, emotionally tortured, his sick mother tried to kill him by making him drink bleach and eat feces and vomit, and she starved him. His father did not help him, in fact he left. And the father was a fireman. The other boys did nothing to help out of fear of abuse turning on them. To this day the men are distant and the oldest claims Dave exaggerated</p><p></p><p>But another brother wrote his own story because after Dave was finally removed at age 12, this other brother became his mother's victim.</p><p></p><p>Dave wrote several books.</p><p></p><p>He knew nothing but severe abuse and betrayal by his family and other people who suspected like but did nothing to help, social workers and teachers.</p><p></p><p>Dave was not violent and hurt nobody. In foster care he was not a criminal. He joined the military, married and had a son. He chose never to spank his son. His life has been difficult but NOT criminal. Never was.</p><p></p><p>So I think about Kay. She saw no violence, heard very little arguing, ate well, was fussed over and loved and did not act that different from Leafs grandson. She was adopted but we were able to get her very young. Is that two months in an orphanage worse than Dave's 12 years of torture?</p><p></p><p>It puzzled me. I have no answers. There ARE no logical answers other than maybe bad DNA? Maybe?</p><p></p><p>David Pelzer certainly had mental illness in his mother and probably other family members.</p><p></p><p>Our childhoods may follow us or haunt us or make us happier but in no way does a bad childhood or trauma kill the soul of every single child. Nor does a good childhood ensure a stable, thoughtful, non violent adult.</p><p></p><p>Kay was violent at times! Scary! Verbally and physically violent. She stole and used drugs. She never saw this from us. Our house was calm, quiet, clean, organized and full of soft voices and love. Plus we worked hard. Kay picked up none of that.</p><p></p><p>I now stop figuring out why. Every answer is a guess or a theory. We really don't know. Not even therapists know. We are all guessing, using theories. Drove me crazy at times when I used to try to figure it out. Or when a therapist said something that I just knew was not the case. My therapy now is about me and how I can be nicer to myself, not about why Kay is the way Kay is.</p><p></p><p>NOBODY KNOWS! It doesn't matter anymore. It just is.</p><p></p><p>Leafy, I hope the other two kids are not like your oldest grandson. It does not have to be. Kids do not necessarily copy what they see and I will pray that the two younger ones heal and do well.</p><p></p><p>You are an inspiring and wonderful lady and I admire you. I hope you appreciate your courage and goodness and I hope you see these admirable traits in yourself as well. God bless you. Thanks for being an inspiration.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 753816, member: 23706"] I wonder. Without knowing Has anyone read "A Child Called It," about and by David Pelzer? This man was severely physically abused, emotionally tortured, his sick mother tried to kill him by making him drink bleach and eat feces and vomit, and she starved him. His father did not help him, in fact he left. And the father was a fireman. The other boys did nothing to help out of fear of abuse turning on them. To this day the men are distant and the oldest claims Dave exaggerated But another brother wrote his own story because after Dave was finally removed at age 12, this other brother became his mother's victim. Dave wrote several books. He knew nothing but severe abuse and betrayal by his family and other people who suspected like but did nothing to help, social workers and teachers. Dave was not violent and hurt nobody. In foster care he was not a criminal. He joined the military, married and had a son. He chose never to spank his son. His life has been difficult but NOT criminal. Never was. So I think about Kay. She saw no violence, heard very little arguing, ate well, was fussed over and loved and did not act that different from Leafs grandson. She was adopted but we were able to get her very young. Is that two months in an orphanage worse than Dave's 12 years of torture? It puzzled me. I have no answers. There ARE no logical answers other than maybe bad DNA? Maybe? David Pelzer certainly had mental illness in his mother and probably other family members. Our childhoods may follow us or haunt us or make us happier but in no way does a bad childhood or trauma kill the soul of every single child. Nor does a good childhood ensure a stable, thoughtful, non violent adult. Kay was violent at times! Scary! Verbally and physically violent. She stole and used drugs. She never saw this from us. Our house was calm, quiet, clean, organized and full of soft voices and love. Plus we worked hard. Kay picked up none of that. I now stop figuring out why. Every answer is a guess or a theory. We really don't know. Not even therapists know. We are all guessing, using theories. Drove me crazy at times when I used to try to figure it out. Or when a therapist said something that I just knew was not the case. My therapy now is about me and how I can be nicer to myself, not about why Kay is the way Kay is. NOBODY KNOWS! It doesn't matter anymore. It just is. Leafy, I hope the other two kids are not like your oldest grandson. It does not have to be. Kids do not necessarily copy what they see and I will pray that the two younger ones heal and do well. You are an inspiring and wonderful lady and I admire you. I hope you appreciate your courage and goodness and I hope you see these admirable traits in yourself as well. God bless you. Thanks for being an inspiration. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The Cycle
Top