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<blockquote data-quote="MissLulu" data-source="post: 753824" data-attributes="member: 24721"><p>I would hate to think anyone is irredeemable. My greatest wish is that my son will find his way through this to a better life. At times I feel hopeless, but I don't think I'll ever completely give up hope that he can lead a productive life. </p><p></p><p>Personally, I'm trying to move on from blaming myself. For ages I was obsessed with trying to work out why (in the absence of any obvious trauma) my son behaves the way he does. Partially this was to absolve myself of guilt (and if I'm honest I haven't quite moved past this yet) but part of it was because I was certain that if I knew why then I would be able to help him. I thought 'why' was the key to 'fixing' him.</p><p></p><p>Now I think the why doesn't matter so much - for my son at least. I understand that for some it might be important (e.g. if there is an undiagnosed medical condition that can be treated) but for my son I don't think we'll ever have a definitive answer. I just need to accept the situation for what it is and to deal with it as best I can.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I'm sure you are right - there are many reasons people are the way they are. I am particularly interested in ancestral and prenatal influences. And I absolutely agree that no one is 'born bad'. Equally, it is not always a person's childhood or environment that has made them the way the are. As you say, sometimes it's just a mystery.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MissLulu, post: 753824, member: 24721"] I would hate to think anyone is irredeemable. My greatest wish is that my son will find his way through this to a better life. At times I feel hopeless, but I don't think I'll ever completely give up hope that he can lead a productive life. Personally, I'm trying to move on from blaming myself. For ages I was obsessed with trying to work out why (in the absence of any obvious trauma) my son behaves the way he does. Partially this was to absolve myself of guilt (and if I'm honest I haven't quite moved past this yet) but part of it was because I was certain that if I knew why then I would be able to help him. I thought 'why' was the key to 'fixing' him. Now I think the why doesn't matter so much - for my son at least. I understand that for some it might be important (e.g. if there is an undiagnosed medical condition that can be treated) but for my son I don't think we'll ever have a definitive answer. I just need to accept the situation for what it is and to deal with it as best I can. Copa, I'm sure you are right - there are many reasons people are the way they are. I am particularly interested in ancestral and prenatal influences. And I absolutely agree that no one is 'born bad'. Equally, it is not always a person's childhood or environment that has made them the way the are. As you say, sometimes it's just a mystery. [/QUOTE]
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