Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The Cycle
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 753925" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi allHe can decide. I don’t think he would have done so living in my home. It was too easy for him to continue off the rails.</p><p>I hope so too, Busy. I am educating myself on childhood trauma and how it affects brain growth. Unfortunately, my grandson feels that violence is the answer. He is a bully. For now. Hopefully he will turn around.</p><p> Me too Busy. After the first initial shock of circumstances wears off, I ask myself what lesson I am supposed to learn. The answer was that I should not feel such fear in my own home.</p><p></p><p> Who knows why things are the way they are? It is too soon to tell what my grandson will decide. Hopefully he will realize that pot and violence is not the answer.</p><p></p><p></p><p>It is the worst feeling Tanya. Looking back, it all played out slowly, like domestic violence. The bully does not show true colors at the beginning. My grandson went from refusing to help around the house, to bullying his siblings, then slowly turning his anger towards me. That look was painful to witness, but, it is also indicative of my grandsons refusal to accept responsibility for his poor choices.</p><p> I hope she realizes the safety issue. My grandson has qualified for intense therapeutic services. That will follow him. His prior therapist told me it might take years for my grandson to reckon with his trauma and how he was becoming an abuser himself. I stand by my rationalizing that nether I or his siblings should be subjected to his bullying while he tried to figure things out.</p><p></p><p> Thank you Tanya. For now, the house is eerily peaceful compared to a week ago, Sister has stated that she is glad he is gone. Brother misses the company, but not the craziness attached. He expressed several times after episodes that he is tired of being bullied by his brother. Only time will tell how my two grands will process their trauma, what this new dynamic of older brother not being around will mean. I think that they feel relieved, as do I, that the dark cloud has lifted.</p><p></p><p> Thank you for sharing that Tanya. I see a shift in attitude already. It may be too soon to tell, but I do think my two grands are grateful that I stood up for them, and our home.</p><p></p><p> Thank you Tanya!</p><p>I got word yesterday that a paternal aunt has taken my grandson into her home. She is much younger than I, has two children and a boyfriend. I hope that a male presence will stabilize my grandson and that he will see that there are better choices for him than to replay the chaos of his upbringing.</p><p> The theory of keeping siblings together to avoid further traumatizing children works in some cases, but not all. I do believe that the two brothers together, for now, are a toxic mix. The cycle of violence was perpetuated in their relationship, with older brother thinking his siblings had to serve his purpose and needs. He took on the role of his father and grandfather. When brother stood up for himself, the violence escalated. Not a good situation at all. I feel that my younger grands now have a chance to find themselves in a peaceful setting. They do not have to worry about when the next episode will happen.</p><p>I hope my eldest grandson will be able to understand his role in being removed from my home. I hope that he will calm down in his aunts home and behave. Only time will tell. I will keep praying for all of my grands to process and heal.</p><p>Thank you all for your wisdom and grace.</p><p>Have a Happy Thanksgiving!</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 753925, member: 19522"] Hi allHe can decide. I don’t think he would have done so living in my home. It was too easy for him to continue off the rails. I hope so too, Busy. I am educating myself on childhood trauma and how it affects brain growth. Unfortunately, my grandson feels that violence is the answer. He is a bully. For now. Hopefully he will turn around. Me too Busy. After the first initial shock of circumstances wears off, I ask myself what lesson I am supposed to learn. The answer was that I should not feel such fear in my own home. Who knows why things are the way they are? It is too soon to tell what my grandson will decide. Hopefully he will realize that pot and violence is not the answer. It is the worst feeling Tanya. Looking back, it all played out slowly, like domestic violence. The bully does not show true colors at the beginning. My grandson went from refusing to help around the house, to bullying his siblings, then slowly turning his anger towards me. That look was painful to witness, but, it is also indicative of my grandsons refusal to accept responsibility for his poor choices. I hope she realizes the safety issue. My grandson has qualified for intense therapeutic services. That will follow him. His prior therapist told me it might take years for my grandson to reckon with his trauma and how he was becoming an abuser himself. I stand by my rationalizing that nether I or his siblings should be subjected to his bullying while he tried to figure things out. Thank you Tanya. For now, the house is eerily peaceful compared to a week ago, Sister has stated that she is glad he is gone. Brother misses the company, but not the craziness attached. He expressed several times after episodes that he is tired of being bullied by his brother. Only time will tell how my two grands will process their trauma, what this new dynamic of older brother not being around will mean. I think that they feel relieved, as do I, that the dark cloud has lifted. Thank you for sharing that Tanya. I see a shift in attitude already. It may be too soon to tell, but I do think my two grands are grateful that I stood up for them, and our home. Thank you Tanya! I got word yesterday that a paternal aunt has taken my grandson into her home. She is much younger than I, has two children and a boyfriend. I hope that a male presence will stabilize my grandson and that he will see that there are better choices for him than to replay the chaos of his upbringing. The theory of keeping siblings together to avoid further traumatizing children works in some cases, but not all. I do believe that the two brothers together, for now, are a toxic mix. The cycle of violence was perpetuated in their relationship, with older brother thinking his siblings had to serve his purpose and needs. He took on the role of his father and grandfather. When brother stood up for himself, the violence escalated. Not a good situation at all. I feel that my younger grands now have a chance to find themselves in a peaceful setting. They do not have to worry about when the next episode will happen. I hope my eldest grandson will be able to understand his role in being removed from my home. I hope that he will calm down in his aunts home and behave. Only time will tell. I will keep praying for all of my grands to process and heal. Thank you all for your wisdom and grace. Have a Happy Thanksgiving! (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The Cycle
Top