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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 753943" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi all Me too Copa. I spent a lot of time today reading articles about sibling abuse. Not rivalry, which is described as a natural occurrence vying for attention. Sibling abuse is steps above rivalry, domineering, controlling and victimizing a younger child. It is domestic violence, not much written about as the old “boys will be boys” or “brothers and sisters always fight” mindset usually prevails. As one who was constantly bullied by my older sister and brother, I well know the pain of it. I was the one told to “just ignore it”. This could not be ignored.</p><p></p><p> Running amok for sure. At our initial family conference paternal grandmother kept repeating that there are “no men in her house” which I know meant that there are no male figures around to control this boys explosive temper. I talked to him about that several times, that he would have to learn to self regulate, to be peaceable in my home. Of course what a strange idea for a child who has been victimized himself by screaming fights, abuse and violence. He took on a dominant role, exclaiming that he was the oldest, so his siblings should listen to him. Not a healthy relationship if you ask me. I do hope and pray that he will find better ways, will accept that violence and bullying is not the answer. It will be a journey with his siblings to see their reaction to this new dynamic. I hope it means that they will be able to open up and heal. I hope it means the same for him.</p><p></p><p> Thank you Copa. Your words of wisdom and kindness have always helped me so much.</p><p></p><p> I think so too, RN. Maybe I was a pathway to another solution? Who knows. I am not sure what CWS will do, as they are adamant about keeping siblings together. Only time will tell. I have their guardian ad litum to thank for agreeing that this is a safety issue for all of my grands and removing the eldest was the smart thing to do. I leave the rest in Gods hands.</p><p>Have a wonderful Thanksgiving all. Holidays can be hard on all of us. May we find peace and cherish joyful moments.</p><p>((( Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 753943, member: 19522"] Hi all Me too Copa. I spent a lot of time today reading articles about sibling abuse. Not rivalry, which is described as a natural occurrence vying for attention. Sibling abuse is steps above rivalry, domineering, controlling and victimizing a younger child. It is domestic violence, not much written about as the old “boys will be boys” or “brothers and sisters always fight” mindset usually prevails. As one who was constantly bullied by my older sister and brother, I well know the pain of it. I was the one told to “just ignore it”. This could not be ignored. Running amok for sure. At our initial family conference paternal grandmother kept repeating that there are “no men in her house” which I know meant that there are no male figures around to control this boys explosive temper. I talked to him about that several times, that he would have to learn to self regulate, to be peaceable in my home. Of course what a strange idea for a child who has been victimized himself by screaming fights, abuse and violence. He took on a dominant role, exclaiming that he was the oldest, so his siblings should listen to him. Not a healthy relationship if you ask me. I do hope and pray that he will find better ways, will accept that violence and bullying is not the answer. It will be a journey with his siblings to see their reaction to this new dynamic. I hope it means that they will be able to open up and heal. I hope it means the same for him. Thank you Copa. Your words of wisdom and kindness have always helped me so much. I think so too, RN. Maybe I was a pathway to another solution? Who knows. I am not sure what CWS will do, as they are adamant about keeping siblings together. Only time will tell. I have their guardian ad litum to thank for agreeing that this is a safety issue for all of my grands and removing the eldest was the smart thing to do. I leave the rest in Gods hands. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving all. Holidays can be hard on all of us. May we find peace and cherish joyful moments. ((( Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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