The day they were born...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Sabine, Feb 15, 2014.

  1. Sabine

    Sabine Member

    I've been wondering something..

    The day your children were born, what was your FIRST impression of them? How did they turn out (so far)? On a scale of 1-10, how do you think they'll turn out (10=mother Theresa, 1= homeless, drugged out murderer.. 5=average Joe) Be honest!

    I'll go first:

    DD13- I thought she looked like a tiny alien, she frightened me. Now she is sweet and loving, but definitely has ADHD and is lazy. I give her a 5.

    Surroson11- I don't know him at all, but I am his biological mother, and I did see him at birth. He was the ugliest of my children, looked like a weird white and red skinny toad. He's autistic, but I have no idea what level of functioning (I do know they were hoping to mainstream him by 2nd grade, so I assume pretty high functioning). Since I don't know him, can't rate him.

    DD10- Gorgeous when she was born, perfectly formed. DD10 shows a LOT of potential. She has a wonderful work ethic, is detail oriented, and has many gifts. Generally easy to get along with (unless something doesn't go her way, then her temper comes out, and it's scary!) If she doesn't let her emotions get her into trouble, she has an excellent chance.. give her a 7.

    DS8- Was quite scrawny when born. Had an odd look to his face, looked "grumpy". This boy is my trouble. Unless things turn around, I'm afraid he's not going to do well. I give him a 3.

    Even though I see differences in my kids, I love them all, and try not to "play favorites"... if anything, my middle daughter is so easy that it's easy to not pay enough attention to her.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I don't have a clear memory of Duckie as I hemorrhaged and passed as labor ended, but I do remember thinking that she looked like a cone head from SNL. An intense little cone head. She has good days and bad days. I think she'll be a 6 or even a 7, which will be a disappointment to her perfectionist self.
  3. jugey

    jugey Active Member

    I don't think I thought much at first. It was a very difficult and long labour that ended up as emerg C. When I took her in the next day though, I thought she was beautiful. She still is.

    So far she's pretty disappointing....hard to admit that! Nothing is easy for her. She is unable to "go with the flow". She doesn't have any successful relationships. It's so hard to watch someone you love struggle so much!

    I give her a 5 at the moment but hope I'll be pleasantly surprised by a 7.

    I wonder sometimes when I read on emeritus or substance if any of those parents can offer someone at my stage some "1" prevention advice?
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I ended up with an emergency c section; after they tried to induce labor her heart rate went way down. The first few weeks were a blur; I was dealing with a 10 pound newborn with colic and I had no help from family and very little from Miss KT's father.

    During the teen years, I wondered if she'd even finish high school, let alone finish without any legal or drug related drama. It was close, but she did graduate and cleaned up her act considerably.

    She's now married, a college graduate, working full time and living 14 hours away from me. She's hard working, pleasant to be around, and calls/texts me every few days...I never thought any of this would happen when she was 13. Right now, I'd have to give her a 9. She's someone I enjoy being around now, and that was not always the case.
  5. Sabine

    Sabine Member

    This is interesting, I hope more will post..
  6. jugey

    jugey Active Member

    KT gives me hope! Thank you for sharing.
  7. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    When difficult child was born, I wasn't in the frame of mind to make sound judgements. I was way too busy being madly, deeply and for forever in love with him and thought he was most perfect and beautiful baby whom ever has graced this planet. In hindsight he was a real ugly duckling and while time has helped a bit he isn't really a beauty even now. And he started to scream from the moment he was born and didn't stop for two years. He is a difficult child but has very varying functioning profile. There are areas he is extremely high performing and then there are areas he still really struggles. So I would say he is from 3 to 8 or even 9 depending.

    easy child was a pretty baby and still is really good looking. He also had an even and laid back personality from the get go. I would say he is an 8. He hasn't got quite a potential difficult child has, but he is really great in most things.
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2014
  8. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Oldest boy was a few weeks early and looked like a Sharpei puppy - he was scrawny and the skin hung off his arms and legs, BUT he had blonde peach fuzz on his head and blue eyes. H called him "Old Man Finkelstein." He's 23 now, with gorgeous strawberry blonde hair and beautiful blue/green eyes. As a baby, I was urged to model him because once he gained a little weight, he was stunning. He was bright and alert but lead poisoning as a toddler gave him Aspie like issues. He's a 6 right now because he's lazy, unemployed and a college dropout. on the other hand, he doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs and is the only one willing to go to mother in law's house and clean up her accidents. He's good looking but way too heavy.

    daughter was not a cute baby but she was a healthy looking baby since she was on time and 1 1/2 pounds heavier than her older brother. She had a very watchful persona and I called her "Princess Serenity." She was and is, an old soul. She is 22 now, finishing her masters' in Special Education and she is probably an 8, because nobody (except of course, my H!) is perfect. She could become a 9 as she gets older. She is a nice looking young woman but, like her mom, her body is more attractive than her face. However, she has beautiful straight light brown hair, while I have disgusting curly crud brown hair.

    difficult child was also not the cutest baby. He had that birthmark on his forehead that, thankfully, faded away with time. At least, he was bald (I love bald babies). He was early because I had pre-eclampsia and was induced. I hallucinated during labor and they didn't let me have him for 12 hours. He was sickly and had 4 sets of tubes, which I believe contributed to his gfgness. He was ODD and is still his own worst enemy, even at college. on the other hand, he's absolutely brilliant and has always inspired loyalty amongst his friends. He doesn't drink, drug or even drive fast and he managed to become an Eagle Scout. He is average looking (think a young Jimmy Cagney with a much nicer nose, lol!) but is no longer fat. I think he is a 6 now but if he continues to improve, he could be a 9.

    easy child was a section baby and was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen in my life. To this day, his baby pictures take my breath away. Blonde peach fuzz and big blue eyes along with a very easy disposition. Growing up, he never gave me a problem other than his pronounced dyslexia. Now, he's on the verge of not graduating HS on time and is lazy as all get out. Even at 50 pounds overweight, he's a very handsome young man but has never had a girlfriend because he's more interested in doing boy scout type stuff. He's really bright (not brilliant like difficult child, but, honestly, very few people are as smart as difficult child and, in many ways, I consider difficult child's brilliance as much a curse as a gift) but unmotivated with no clue as to what he wants to do in life. He is charismatic and like difficult child inspires loyalty and is a leader. At this point, he's a 5 but could easily become an 8 or 9. He's the only one who has tried drinking - he hated it and also didn't like it when difficult child reamed him out about it. He is no longer hanging out with those kids and is back with scouting friends.

    Babyboy was an emergency C, he and I both almost died. He resembles daughter and difficult child so he is not particularly handsome but on him, it works, he is very cute. He was a cute baby but needed PT to walk because of hip dysplacia. He has had more anger issues than any of my other kids, including difficult child (who NEVER shows emotion at all); even now, he will scream at me when I ask about his HW only to turn around and knock on my bedroom door to do the hw with him. He's doing ok but not great in hs. Although not as charismatic as easy child, babyboy has a large circle of friends and is also active in scouting. I'd say he is currently a 7 but could improve as he begins to grasp that HS is important.

    This is an interesting exercise and I've enjoyed reading other people's answers.
  9. Sabine

    Sabine Member

    Wonderful! I love hearing these stories :)
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Both my kiddos are adopted but I'll start with easy child/difficult child. I was in the room when she was born. She was a beautiful baby!She still is beautiful! She was so funny and very independent to her detriment at times. She still is! She struggles with friendships and knowing what she wants to do. She sees things in black and white and can be very judgmental. I give her a 5 right now but wouldn't be surprised if she goes up or down.

    difficult child was four weeks old when we first saw him. He weighed 4 pounds at the time and looked like a skinny old man. In some ways he looked very much like husband's brother who died a few months later from a drug overdose. However, he turned cuter fast and continues to be very handsome.He has struggled from the beginning. Nothing has come easy for him (there were years we didn't know how we would all survive or whether he would be able to continue to live at home), however, we are impressed with the progress he has made the past few years. Although he will probably always need supports I would give him a 4 (again could go up or down).
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I've had four kids. I'd also had prior experience with my sister's kids, we lived with her when I was a teenager and I was generally used as an unpaid babysitter. So I knew how to handle babies.

    With easy child, she was premature and tiny, but didn't need the intensive care nursery. Just missed out on that one. But she didn't feed well, was jaundiced and sleepy. I did find I bonded fast with her, almost lost my own sense of self in submerging into my baby's existence. I had no way of knowing how she would turn out. I had hopes, that was all.

    difficult child 1 - was born after a difficult pregnancy, also a little premature but able to breathe on his own. He went into humidicrib for jaundice treatment for two days. He was a snuggly baby from the beginning, when I could get my hands on him.

    easy child 2/difficult child 2 - I remember sitting holding her, studying her. She had a tiny crease in the bottom lip which I found fascinating. She had no problems feeding but also had jaundice problems which we dealt with thanks to a canny pediatrician who told me to express my milk and boil it. Let it cool, then feed her the bottled boiled milk. it helped clear up her jaundice a lot faster than the previous two. This baby was my sensual baby, from the beginning. The advised bathing method back then was to strip the baby naked, soap the baby up on a towel (baby generally screaming because they don't like being naked and unwrapped) then a quick dunk in a tepid shallow bath to rinse off. For easy child 2/difficult child 2, I ran a very warm Badedas bath. A deep bath. It was in the hospital nursery and the pediatrician was writing up his notes. The baby screamed as usual when I undressed her, but instead of the naked soaping up on a towel, I dunked her straight into the bubble bath I'd made for her. She stopped screaming immediately, opened her eyes wide, and relaxed. The sudden cessation of sound had the pediatrician swinging round in his chair, fearful I'd submerged the baby. But she was fine, and even stayed relaxed and quiet when I dressed her afterwards. That's when I knew I had a sensual baby. And as it turned out, she has kept a strong sense of sensuality. Part of her Aspie tendencies is being cuddly, wanting soft textures, wanting skin contact and especially furry or silky textures. Now she is a mother herself, her baby is getting the benefit.

    difficult child 3 - he knew what he wanted, from the first minutes. Has always known what he wanted. If he didn't get what he wanted, he screamed. But as generally what he wanted was right for him anyway, we got along fine. He was fascinated with the flicker of light through leaves on the trees, which I later realised was very similar to the flicker of light past flapping fingers. difficult child 3 was also fascinated with quiz shows on TV, especially the ones where there wasn't much movement. He would tune out and get restless when the ads came on. We also found, as he got mobile and could reach the TV controls, that he had a fascination for re-tuning the TV. He also liked watching the microwave oven display as it counted down the cooking time. He would not respond to his name and did not talk but he could mimic. He could recite his numbers and his alphabet and soon recognised them in written form. He was learning to read double-digit numbers at about 18 months. He could climb, anything he wanted he would get even if he had to find a way to climb to ceiling height to get it. he liked the coin-sorting money box and would play with it for hours. He was using a computer from very young. Played the piano from very young (not just bashing at it, but carefully pressing notes and choosing chords). We thought we had a child genius, but when his speech did not develop as expected, we began to realise we had a problem.

    Now - easy child is a mother of two, a health professional and hard worker. Witty, talented, highly intelligent.

    difficult child 1 - married but it's an interesting relationship. They have decided to not have kids. I suspect daughter in law is borderline Aspie. difficult child 1 is still working towards a career path but does hold down a job. he has some unusual hobbies that fit in with his obsessions - Star Wars, medieval warfare, exercise.

    easy child 2/difficult child 2 - working towards a career in child care and/or teaching. It will be a long journey. Is loving being a mother, loving being able to breastfeed her baby, has a great instinctive feel for her baby's needs. She still has a way to go in learning how to get on with people, but has made a lot of progress.

    difficult child 3 - from being an early reader, mathematical and musical savant, he now rarely reads and doesn't play piano any more. Behaviourally he is still challenging, but is learning social skills at a faster rate now. I had very high expectations of him when he was born but all along, we've had to modify our expectations. He is an unknown quantity still. Whether he ever marries, I don't know. He's never had a girlfriend and almost all his friends are online.

    The future is an uncharted country.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I had 3 beautiful baby boys. They were pretty easy babies and the oldest continued to be easy. The younger two changed into little monsters at 18

    Now they are grown up adults I pretty much know what and who they are. Son one is a 6. He ended up being what I call Aspie Lite. He took much longer to become able to do things my other kids just knew. He didnt start working until he was about 23 because he simply couldnt make eye contact and he wasnt social at all. Now he is a manager of a retail chain store! We never saw that one coming. He hates it but he does it.

    Son number 2 is my success story. He was my most average child. He made good grades when he took medications but without them he struggled. However he had a life dream to be a Marine and he did that. He is a happy, married 29 year old with 2 kids and a great job for him. He is now an Animal Control Officer with the sheriffs dept in VA. I just posted about him in Watercooler.

    Cory was my smartest child but he has blown it completely. He dropped out of school in 9th grade, has been arrested multiple times and basically has a hard life. However he does love us and would never let anything happen to us.

    My younger two sons have given me the most beautiful grandchildren....especially my youngest who is the difficult child. His girls are absolutely stunning. I hate to have favorites too but I think my youngest son was so much like me that he became my favorite and his oldest daughter is my heart. She and I are inseparable. I really think that is because she is the oldest and is a girl. I badly wanted a girl and when she was born I got one.