The dieting struggles continue

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Jan 7, 2014.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Many of you know I have been battling weight issues for the last couple of years now. My psychiatrist prescribed the antidepressant Remeron and I gained 46 unsightly pounds. Before that horrid medication I was a skinny 120 pounds. I finally quit the medication and joined weight watchers this past summer to help me lose the weight. Over the summer I managed to lose 17 pounds. My goal was to lose 30 more pounds and get back into my size 4 jeans after the holidays. I dropped down to a size 12 and was looking forward to shedding even more pounds.

    Then Halloween happened. We had a huge party at work and everybody brought a ton of junk food, so I caved in and cheated. I also indulged in some of the kids' halloween candy later that night. My boyfriend chastised me for eating candy when I was supposed to be on a diet. At the time I was pissed at him for opening his big mouth and saying something, but in hindsight I agree with him. I never should have cheated. I decided that since it was a Thursday, I would continue to eat whatever I wanted until the next Monday. I just missed junk food so much. I was really planning on going back on the plan after the weekend. Big *** mistake.

    I never went back on my diet. I never attended another meeting. I continued to cheat all the way through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I have no idea how much weight I've gained back because I do not own a scale, but I can no longer fit in to the size 12 jeans I bought in the summer to celebrate my weight loss. I can't even button them. I'm back into a size 14. I feel terrible. Last month my mom had a big Christmas party and invited all my relatives, who brought me gifts. My grandmother, who absolutely cannot tolerate anybody in the family being overweight, looked me up and down, and with me in the same room, said VERY loudly to my aunt, "Looks like I should have bought Amber a larger sweater for Christmas this year."

    I was incredibly hurt. My grandma must have known I could hear her. We were in the very same room. That was her way of telling me she knows I gained the weight back (she had previously congratulated me on my 17 pound weight loss at easy child's birthday party in October) and it was her way of showing her displeasure. I feel really guilty and I am super disappointed in myself. Not just because my grandmother said something about it, but because I look in the mirror and I'm disgusted. All that hard work down the drain, and now I have to start over again.

    But I am determined to do it. This time I don't have holidays to get in my way. I have no excuses. This weekend I am going to Target and buying myself a bathroom scale. I'm afraid to see how much weight I've gained, but I have to do it. I am going back on the weight watchers plan. Right now I can't afford to sign up for another monthly membership, but I still have all the books so I will be back to counting points. I want to lose weight for my health and my self esteem. I am determined to make it happen. Wish me luck!
  2. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    CB! Don't you buy a scale. You don't need to see it, it will make you feel worse. Please don't be hard on yourself like this, you had candy? That's life, people eat things once in awhile that they shouldn't. Buy some yoga pants instead and vow to walk every day or something. Don't focus on a number, just on how you do each day by being healthy. Know if you totally give up candy, you'll want it even more, just have a little bit. We just ignored our grandma when she was rude.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    CB... there's more to losing weight than food. I've learned that the single biggest cause of weight gain is: not enough quality sleep. I know you have sleep issues. It may be more useful to focus, if possible, on resolving some of the issues around sleep first. Why? because when we are tired, we crave carbs... bread, pasta, sugar. It's the fuel that keeps us going, but it comes at a cost. Getting healthy is more than just a number on the scale...
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I went from 160 fat, ugly, health-risking pounds to 115. I did it on Weightwatchers, and the meetings were absolutely mandatory in my case to help me stay on track. So was working out hard five days a week. Without exercise NO DIET WILL WORK. And you have to stay mindful even during the holidays or you will have a lapse every year. These hungry medications don't help either. I am on "eat till you drop" Paroxatene better known as Paxil. When I read up on weight gain and Paxil, I was convinced, by those who took it, that I could not lose any weight. Actulaly, my scale made me feel good.

    I am really stubborn and I hated how I looked. Weightwatchers always comes in first for both success and good health and money in my house is in short supply. So I signed up and knew I'd work the program with the support of my leader and those who were also at the meetings. I found out t hat veggies, fruit, fish, meat, oatmeal, almond milk (optinal) and a cheat once in a while which WW allows is better than stuffing myself with cake and cookies. My mottor is "apples are the new potato chip."

    I have learned to LOVE applies. They are very filling and healthy and my go-to treat at night. I weighed myself every day and night to make sure I had not overeaten. I am not telling you to do this, but when I don't weigh myself every day, I tend to forget to watch what I eat and to exercise a nd that is how I gained all my weight back the other time I had gotten down almost this low, Paxil and all. It was my "forgetting" that you can't just eat what you want and sit on your butt all day and still look and feel good.

    I like the feel good part the best. Although it's fun to shop for clothes again. I can get into a size eight with no problem. Now it is no fun to shop when you are in the extra larges. I know. That was where I used to shop. And no matter how many big shirts I bought to cover my belly, heck, I still looked big. I decided I didn't want to be that person.

    On top of that, I was not enjoying borderling cholestral, sore knees and feeling older than my years. I saw people younger than me using walkers. That was just not for me.

    So I did it. And I will continue to do it. And you can do it too. I do recommend going back to WW because it is great to have a cheering squad and hard to do it alone. Also, many overweight people do not really WANT you to lose weight since they have no intention of doing the hard work to lose it a nd I found that I needed my friends who did want me to succeed to balance out those who were pushing red velvet cake (my favorite) in my face and telling me that if I just had a few pieces, I'd still lose weight (big lie).

    You can do it. It is only you who can do it though. Nobody else can. Fad diets, like Atkinds, the Grapefruit diet, fasting diets and such can not be sustained and are not healthy.

    I am hoping you can feel as good as I do in about six months to a year. I hope you do lose the weight. You sound like a determined woman. Go for it :) can't lose weight sitting down all the time. You have to work out. I actually learned to like it :)
  5. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I am a big ww fan, too!! I am back on and my daughter is doing it with me as we both weighed the same. We are taking a family vacation to the beach so that is our motivation. :) I am down 6 pounds so far this month - another 27 to go!

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  6. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    Stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, medications, depression - ALL of these things can affect your weight. The more you stress and obsess about your weight, the harder it is going to be to lose. Put your grandmother on your "ignore" list - that was so unbelievably :censored2:y and rude of her!

    You need to put less emphasis on the numbers (weight, jean sizes) and MORE emphasis on HEALTH and WELLNESS. Start adding in good, healthy, minimally processed foods - fresh fruit, veggies, lean meats, etc.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Stress cause many people to eat. It used to be me. I'd think "With all this going on, I deserve a carton of ice cream!" Stress alone does not cause weight gain. That is just not true. People who sleep well tend to have a lower body weight. That is true. However just getting a good night's sleep every night, as healthy as that is for you, will not take off pounds. There really is no easy way to lose weight. You either eat healthy and work out as hard as you can 3-5 days a week or you get gastric bypass surgery and after that you still have no choice but to watch w hat you eat or you could cause serious problems to the surgery. I know a dear lady who is scheduled to have it.

    On the other hand, surgery is serious and I also know somebody who has been ill ever since she had the bypass. She is VERY thin now (size 0) and looks like a model, but she is never well. But it does work for many people if the person has a good surgeon and if the person is committed to eating well afterward.

    You don't have to do weightwatchers, but a nutritionist often comes up with diets similar to weightwatchers (even with the points) or a diet that does old fashion calories and exercise will probably do the best for you long term. I just happen to need the camaraderie of group support. And I need the accountability of having to check in each week.
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2014
  8. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for your support. I am planning on signing up for another membership next month when I make up for all the money I spent on Christmas. I find that being weighed in front of another person and being held accountable to someone else is key for me. The meetings also give me motivation when I feel discouraged and like I just can't do it anymore. Till next month I am going to do the plan on my own. I don't think I can afford to wait any longer. I am determined to look and feel better by summer time. No more excuses for me. I will lose this weight!
  9. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Get a grip girl! The problem is not indulging yourself with a treat or two in special occasions. The problem is, that you are not treating yourself with love and respect you deserve.

    Don't allow anyone, even yourself speak down on you. Be nice, kind and loving to yourself, both in your thoughts and actions. Concentrate doing and eating things that are good for you. Don't concentrate on numbers or even how you look but on how you feel.

    Make sure to eat enough healthy things, don't try to have a quick fix, don't punish yourself, don't let yourself go hungry. Surest way to eat too much is to go hungry until you can't anymore and your body makes sure it will get the food it craves. When it comes to dieting, for most people self-control and self-discipline is mostly just be. And that is why most dieters don't make it. You need to eat enough and often enough so that you will not be ravenously hungry come a evening.

    And indulging yourself with some treats on Holidays is not cheating. It is life. Having to take flack from it from your boyfriend, or even worse from yourself, then again is not a good thing.
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Well, it may not be for everyone. And people who are thin forever do not understand. But everyone metabolizes food differently too. I was a very fast metabolizer until I was put on Paroxatene. You know very well that these psychiatric drugs make you hungry and often cause a lot of weight gain. I was heavy for the first time ever.I was never NOT hungry and the medications made me crave the dangerous (gasp) sweets and potato chips. If one has never been on psychiatric medications, you don't understand. They do make you so hungry that it is a hurting effort to control these cravings. I feel so badly for kids who, say, take the dreaded hunger-inducing Depakote, for example. After all, it's hard for adults and they are children, but I digress...
    For me, doing it alone just doesn't work. In our country, our portions tend to be much larger than in other countries and we have a huge obesity problem. One thing I am starting to do is trying to remember how I ate before Paxil. I look at normal weight women in restaurants and at other places to see what they eat. They eat what everyone eats, but much less of it and tend to throw out more food than I ever thought of doing.
    However, some people (and I was once one of them) could eat twelve cookies, not exercise, and stay thin. I could wolf it all down at Thanksgiving and Christmas and not gain. Gimme anymore. Some people can eat more than others can and still stay healthy and thin. I envy those good old days, but they are gone for me.
    I like Weightwatchers because I have a slew of friends who are also losing, learning how to eat normal portiaons, learning what is best to eat...and I really don't feel as if I'm on a diet. I also think working out makes you feel great. You can eat more if you work out hard :)
    Good luck to you!!!! I know you can do it.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member more thing. Alcohol is a big weight gainer. Best to really cut back. I have the advantage of not drinking at all, but that isn't necessary. Beer is the anti-Christ of dieting :) There are better alcohols.
  12. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I have always been cursed with a slow metabolism. I have never been this overweight in my life before, but I have always struggled with that extra ten pounds that was hard to get rid of since I was a teen. I used to go through the yo yo dieting. Losing a few pounds, gaining it back, losing again, etc. When I reached my late teens I discovered the trick of eating and making myself throw up. I wouldn't binge eat. I would just eat a regular meal but force myself to vomit. I started abusing laxatives too. I got down to 95 pounds, and I still thought I was fat. My mom was threatening to send me to a treatment center.

    Then I got pregnant with difficult child in my early twenties, and I stopped the vomiting for her sake. I wanted to be healthy for my baby. I gained 30 pounds in my pregnancy. Once I gave birth, I tried to force the vomiting again, but for some reason I could no longer do it. I would stick my finger down my throat and nothing would come out. I was incredibly frustrated at the time, but of course in hindsight I know it was for the best. I could have suffered life threatening symtpoms had I continued with the bulemia.

    Since I have always been so weight conscious all my life, I am absolutely disgusted that I managed to get as big as I am now. I'm pretty sure I fit the obese category at my current weight. I know for a fact difficult child is considered obese, because her doctor has it written as one of her diagnoses besides the ulcers. difficult child went on weight watchers with me last summer and lost about 20 pounds. She, too, has gained it all back. We saw her gastroenterologist last week, and she currently weighs 196 pounds. She was down to 175.

    We are both going back on the plan. My mom has offered to pay for difficult child. I will be paying for myself. I just received an unexpected child support check today, so now I can afford to sign up for another membership ASAP. I will be going to another meeting on Saturday. difficult child is going to her dad's this weekend, so I will be signing her up the following week. I can't wait to get back on track again. I am just dreading finding out exactly how much weight I've gained. Ugh! But I have to face the music and I have to get serious about this. It's the only way I will get healthy again.
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    The "eat healthy" part is critical.
    Work out as hard as you can 3-5 days a week? Depends on where you are starting from. I added very moderate activity, significantly improved my sleep, and replaced most simple starches and sugars with fruit and veggies... and lost consistently.
    It's not about taking off as much as possible as fast as possible... it's about lifestyle changes that add up over time.
  14. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I just signed up for another membership online and I downloaded the mobile app. Last time my mom was paying for my membership, so I didn't have access to any of the online tools. I am on the site now. There are a TON of crock pot recipes. OMG I'm in heaven! I just printed out a recipe for slow cooker, pork and three bean chili. I am going to make it for Sunday night's dinner. This is so cool. I can't wait to try out all their recipes!