The dreaded "S" word

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Oct 14, 2010.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    SUSPENDED! Yep-received a call today saying difficult child was being suspended. It definitely sounds as though it was warranted.

    First off, difficult child's day at home started badly when he didn't get certain things he wanted-he was in a bad mood! However, he slept most of the way to school so we thought he would be o.k.

    Shortly after school began I received a phone call saying he needed to be suspended. I went to pick him up and dropped him off at home and went back to work. Unfortunately, me staying home wouldn't have helped and I would have lost a sick day-can't keep doing that!

    Here is the note from the spec. ed teacher about what happened.


    Here is the description of what happened today (and yesterday) at the beginning of school.

    Student walked up to the school door and difficult child “came after him” (Student believes difficult child thought it was a joke). Student ran into the library to avoid difficult child. difficult child chased him into the library. Student swung his bike helmet at difficult child to try and get difficult child away. The day prior, difficult child had chased student and punched him in the back. I intervened at this point. After I intervened with student, I informed difficult child that he owed 25 minutes for going after student. He became very defensive and escalated very quickly. He began making verbal threats “I’m going to punch you out” etc. I called for back up. He hung up the phone. He started posturing. He swung his fist at me. (I am not sure if he would have actually hit me or not). I continued to back away from him. The bell rang and other students began coming in the room. He grabbed a stool and swung at me. He threw stool in the garbage can. He picked up scissors from table and began approaching me with them (grasped in his hand, in threatening gesture, with deadpan look in eyes). Another student was trying to talk to me at the time. I tried to get him and myself out of his direction. difficult child came after us with the scissors and followed us around the art room table. More kids came in the room. This seemed to distract him somewhat. He stopped going after me, but still was holding the scissors in a weapon like manner. He shut the door (with him inside the room) and did let some kids inside when they knocked. I was trying to get the class going at this time and keep an eye on him. He did walk into the hallway, at which point, I shut the door and locked him out into the hallway. Back up intervened and he was escorted to SAR.

    So that is the note. difficult child doesn't even remember most of it. He remembers the stool but not the scissors. I'm actually surprised they didn't call the police.

    difficult child, of course, doesn't even have it on his mind anymore. Kept asking me to play games with him tonight. I kept telling him not on a night when he has been suspended. His mood at home this even has been very upbeat.

    Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for him at school.
  2. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    If he's been suspended, how can he have a better day at school tomorrow? How long is the suspension for?

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The suspension was just for today. He gets to go back tomorrow.
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Sharon I'm sorry


    i gotta go back into here later and read the letter fully that she wrote.
  5. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Wow. Hope tomorrow he is feeling a little less threatening.
  6. ML

    ML Guest

    Tomorrow has got to be better. I HATE these kind of days. Sharon, you're doing a great job. As always, hugs, ML
  7. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    The scissors sound scary.

    You've got too much going on. Try not to think about everything at once. I read your other thread about detachment vs. numbness. This is a good time for either of those. Protect your brain!

    I'll be thinking of you.

  8. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Yikes!!! :wildone:

    He's really lucky the police aren't involved. Do you really think he doesn't remember? Or is he trying to not remember (maybe he's a little embarrassed and ashamed?)? It just seems unusual that he can't recall part of it...

    Is he using the sleep apnea machine again?
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Scary...hope he settles down tomorrow.

    Hugs, Sharon.
  10. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yeah...wowzers. I am really surprised they didnt call in someone at his age with that level of violence. Also surprised the suspension was only one day. Amazing school.
  12. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    First, hugs.

    I have to say that I am shocked the teacher didn't clear the classroom or immediately call for back up when he grabbed the scissors! Had my child been in the classroom, or allowed to come in the classroom when another child held a pair of scissors threateningly, I would be very, very angry. And this is coming from a mom who had her child weld scissors in the classroom (threatening himself not others, but still holding a weapon).

    I must say that I am also surprised the suspension is only for part of one day. The threatening words, hanging up the phone (her safety line), the stool, the scissors (bad enough he held them in his hand, but following her and a student around the table is very scary). I would think this would be, at the very least, a suspension through the week (today as well). I believe it's fortunate the police were not called.

    I can totally relate to the start of the day. difficult child, especially when younger, was the same way. I almost bent over backwards to make sure there was a no conflict, no stress, start to the school day. It was exhausting! If the morning was bad, a call from school usually followed.....

    Sharon, I am so sorry about what happened yesterday. I certainly hope difficult child has a much, much, much better day today and you do too.

  13. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Oh Sharon... I'm so sorry.

    I'm also very surprised at the length of the suspension and the fact that the police were not called in. To me, this falls under the zero tolerance policy. I'm also concerned that the teacher didn't clear the room.

    It sounds like difficult child was in one of those rage zones - I totally buy that he doesn't remember the whole incident. thank you would get like that - you could always tell when he had left the building and his actions were just primal. It's impossible to predict what they're going to do when they're in this state.

    More importantly than anything though, I hope that staff are looking at this incident to figure out how to avoid having so many people at risk in the future, including difficult child. There needs to be more action than just a suspension, in my humble opinion.

    Hugs, hon. The good news is that his school is so able and willing to work to manage his behaviors.
  14. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Wow! I can't believe police were not called....

    Then again, teacher may not have taken it "seriously" at the moment - thinking that perhaps difficult child had no intention of actually using the scissors...just making threats. Of course, seeing it all in sounds VERY scary.

    VERY lucky the suspension was not longer.

    TG nobody was hurt!
  15. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am not surprised either that he does not remember the incident, and it sounds like it was really intense. I wonder if the school is being lenient on the suspension because of difficult child's issues?
  16. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Quite possible. Mine had rages like this on her previous medications and only netted a one day suspension that she was able to serve in an alternative school for those with out of school suspensions, and a few days of in school suspensions here and there (which was rather rewarding for her, since it got her away from the other kids and where she wanted to be).
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I too am very surprised they didn't call the police. Last year they talked about it and I thought they would for an incident like this. I do think the reason he only got one day is due to his disability and the fact that last year we had a huge discussion about suspensions and his iep. They said they wanted us to leave out the part of no suspensions (other than level 4). We didn't want to due to all of the ridiculous suspensions he received in 4th grade. She asked us to trust them and we did (still do).

    I really do believe he doesn't remember the scissors part because he admits to everything else. Of course, in his opinion, he was suspended because he punched the boy who was hitting him with the helmet. He does remember the stool but not the scissors. Says he remembers holding them but not in a threatening manner.

    Friday went better (at least we didn't get any reports). Fortunately, he has a psychiatrist appointment on Wednesday (although I'm not sure medication wise what they can do).
  18. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Subjective without direct evidence for either side, i.e. photos, video. He may not have intended actual harm and therefore does not consider it "threatening manner" whereas the person on the sharp end might well consider it threatening in his mood even if he had simply been holding them point-down at his side.
  19. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    husband and difficult child 2 would often blank out after an emotional "attack" like that. It's like when the limbic system takes over, it shuts out everything else to allow for maximized "fight or flight" response.
  20. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sharon, I had it written into wm's IEP if he threatened with a weapon that 911 was to be called immediately; the room was always always cleared immediately & the police would make the situation safe (with restraints if necessary) & then wm would be transported to ER. The staff at school would write a report & fax it immediately to the hospital. The police were involved however wm was admitted each & every time.

    I hope this gives you some ideas.