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General Parenting
the good, the bad and the ugly - an update on us
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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 678427" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>LOL, New Leaf. I used to have Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs years ago. My ex forced me to move back to the city, and I had to find the pigs a new home. Giving up the 4 legged pigs was a lot harder than giving up the 2 legged pig. We also had one hog which became a BBQ dinner. I couldn't eat Harold, but it was fine with me that everyone else enjoyed him. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree. Ferb's behavior has improved drastically since he lost both the cell phone and the X-box. He is also learning a lot about himself while having to work in a customer service position. He notices when his boss is snappy and angry. Ferb is able to keep his cool at work even when frustrated by communication issues. He says one of the most maddening things is when he asks a customer if they want a girl toy or a boy toy with the kid's meal. Sometimes the parent doesn't understand the question and only nods vigorously. I think the real world experience has been the most valuable teaching tool for him.</p><p></p><p>I had difficulty with Candy in the fall. She developed the nasty teen girl attitude. I tried taking the cell phone away for a week. Then I took it for a month. Now it is gone for good. Interestingly, her attitude has improved immensely. I struggle with the issue of keeping tabs on them at times, but most of their friends have cell phones and will willingly text me. The hardest thing for me is allowing Ferb to walk home from work without a cell. I have to trust that he will find a way to handle any emergency.</p><p></p><p>I also work in a middle school. I'm a one-on-one aide for a boy with autism, so we spend most of the day in the Special Education classrooms. We do have some contact with the general ed kids. There are 4 boys who are heavy into gaming. All 4 of them struggle with being defiant, disrespectful, angry and surly. I suspect that the heavy gaming is a piece of it - the violence and aggressiveness of it. I also think that the intense draw of the gaming addiction interferes with the kids' sleep. All of the boys seem dog-tired. It is noteworthy that each of these boys has huge difficulties speaking to other kids. Their whole life is gaming. When we do social skills activities with them, some of the more introverted kids outshine them with social skills. They know what to say, and they have life activities to contribute to the conversation. The gamer boys are only comfortable discussing gaming. Actually, it's stronger than that. They only WANT to discuss gaming. They are fixated on gaming. They despise talking about any other subject. </p><p></p><p>Ferb denies being addicted to gaming. I know his goal is to pay the debt and get back to gaming. I hope he develops another interest. </p><p></p><p>Cedar, the stupid cat was lying next to the computer while I was typing. I thought she'd be okay, but she leaned on it in just the wrong way. Lesson learned.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 678427, member: 11832"] LOL, New Leaf. I used to have Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs years ago. My ex forced me to move back to the city, and I had to find the pigs a new home. Giving up the 4 legged pigs was a lot harder than giving up the 2 legged pig. We also had one hog which became a BBQ dinner. I couldn't eat Harold, but it was fine with me that everyone else enjoyed him. I agree. Ferb's behavior has improved drastically since he lost both the cell phone and the X-box. He is also learning a lot about himself while having to work in a customer service position. He notices when his boss is snappy and angry. Ferb is able to keep his cool at work even when frustrated by communication issues. He says one of the most maddening things is when he asks a customer if they want a girl toy or a boy toy with the kid's meal. Sometimes the parent doesn't understand the question and only nods vigorously. I think the real world experience has been the most valuable teaching tool for him. I had difficulty with Candy in the fall. She developed the nasty teen girl attitude. I tried taking the cell phone away for a week. Then I took it for a month. Now it is gone for good. Interestingly, her attitude has improved immensely. I struggle with the issue of keeping tabs on them at times, but most of their friends have cell phones and will willingly text me. The hardest thing for me is allowing Ferb to walk home from work without a cell. I have to trust that he will find a way to handle any emergency. I also work in a middle school. I'm a one-on-one aide for a boy with autism, so we spend most of the day in the Special Education classrooms. We do have some contact with the general ed kids. There are 4 boys who are heavy into gaming. All 4 of them struggle with being defiant, disrespectful, angry and surly. I suspect that the heavy gaming is a piece of it - the violence and aggressiveness of it. I also think that the intense draw of the gaming addiction interferes with the kids' sleep. All of the boys seem dog-tired. It is noteworthy that each of these boys has huge difficulties speaking to other kids. Their whole life is gaming. When we do social skills activities with them, some of the more introverted kids outshine them with social skills. They know what to say, and they have life activities to contribute to the conversation. The gamer boys are only comfortable discussing gaming. Actually, it's stronger than that. They only WANT to discuss gaming. They are fixated on gaming. They despise talking about any other subject. Ferb denies being addicted to gaming. I know his goal is to pay the debt and get back to gaming. I hope he develops another interest. Cedar, the stupid cat was lying next to the computer while I was typing. I thought she'd be okay, but she leaned on it in just the wrong way. Lesson learned. [/QUOTE]
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