The gut punch of motherhood

YogiLori

Member
Welcome YogiLori ! Sorry you that you have a situation with your own son around drug use. I am glad you found us on this website
Well thank you so much. It feels so good to be welcomed and responded too and to read others stories. I am trying to have hope but that is not my strong point. Unfortunately I've become worn down. This website helps. Thanks again !
 

YogiLori

Member
I highly recommend Nar Anon. It is a program to help people who have addicted love ones. They have Zoom online meetings now.
I have ordered the book and the workbook and joined a meeting in the suburb I grew up in Illinois. I am looking forward to more connection and support. Thank you!
 

YogiLori

Member
OMG, I totally understand as I do all the self help things you do! I just joined this website today because I do not want to feel alone. I totally agree, marijuana has/is ruined my son's brain. He literally is so dependent on someone for everything. He is so capable but he will not help himself. I am broken too and you are not alone. I am not sure what the answer is.......I am a saver, a recovering codependent and a people pleaser. WE love our son's. Somehow some way they just have to figure it out......What has been getting me through is a daily mantra " I will accept whatever happens" " I will be at peace with whatever happens" - we have too because we have no control over their decisions. But I am being honest, I am not at peace and Im not accepting ......... Im trying
Also today I read Unconditional Love does not mean unconditional acceptance of bad behavior. I like this. When our son is in our house he said he will follow the rules - help out, not sleep all day and stay up all night, not bring his drugs in here.....among many other things. HE NEVER FOLLOWS ANY RULES. I really know this now. He is adverse to any peace. He likes chaos and being and a**hole. In fact, he seems to like behaving that way. I don't have to understand why anymore. One day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. Keep trying to focus on you and do what makes you peaceful and happy. I do keep thinking about trying to let go let god.......let go again and again and again. I'm going to keep trying too. You are not alone.
 

YogiLori

Member
Thank you Blighty. I am so glad I found this website too! I cant believe I stumbled into it. It gives me solace that there are many folks like me (this is so sad under these circumstances) My son's friends are all doing what they are supposed to be doing. Sure, sometimes they drink too much, or get in some trouble, but they are working, going to college, participating in their family in even a little way. Our son doesn't care about college, thinks he cannot work without a car, tells us all the time that he doesn't believe in 3/4 of our bullshit beliefs - skips our birthday and holiday celebrations yet expects presents and money for his birthday. So there are no mom's that I know of that has a son or daughter like mine......it feels so isolating and lonely and makes me think "what did we do wrong?" I am so grateful to be here
 

Ascending

Member
Also today I read Unconditional Love does not mean unconditional acceptance of bad behavior. I like this. When our son is in our house he said he will follow the rules - help out, not sleep all day and stay up all night, not bring his drugs in here.....among many other things. HE NEVER FOLLOWS ANY RULES. I really know this now. He is adverse to any peace. He likes chaos and being and a**hole. In fact, he seems to like behaving that way. I don't have to understand why anymore. One day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. Keep trying to focus on you and do what makes you peaceful and happy. I do keep thinking about trying to let go let god.......let go again and again and again. I'm going to keep trying too. You are not alone.

Yes!!!

Read your own post above to keep reminded!
 
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