Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The gut punch of motherhood
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 762612" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. Sorry that you have to walk the same path as most of us.</p><p></p><p>Nothing got better for us until we closed The Bank of Dad and Mom. It took ten years and our marriage on the rocks and my other children very upset with our enabling behavior. We joined NarAnon and got into therapy. Addiction is a family disease and we were sick. Very sick. While there was and is nothing we can do to change our daughter we learned how to detach with love and to work on ourselves and my horrible enabling, in particular. Kay cut off contact when the bank closed but not until she saw that we were truly, truly done spending our retirement on her. She kept testing us but we were done. We gave her not a penny and if she tried to manipulate us out of money, we ended the phone call.</p><p></p><p>Kay is not better and.not worse. She lives ub a dilapidated old moterhome on the street with her useless husband. They both managed to get SSDI from the government with includes Food Share and Meficare%Medicaid plus a case manager that yhey can call but never do call for assistance.</p><p></p><p>My family, minus Kay, are happy and finally peaceful. Most of what helped us came from Nar Anon. There are Zoomeetings now. You can find meeting times and numbers on the internet.</p><p></p><p>These are the three Cs of NarAnon:</p><p></p><p>"I did not cause it, I can not control it, and I can not cure it.".This is all true. We have no power over our addict. We can't control another person or do anything to help. Help doesn't help. We can control the behavior and reactions of one person in the world....us. That is the limit of our power to change anything. Your son will only get well if he wants to. Abuse grim him is not okay. It is domestic abuse. Your son will not succeed ibecause you save him temporarily from the cold and homelessness. He will only succeed by his actions...and only if he wants to. All your help hasn't cured him yet. It won't. You will just go broke. And he will take, take,btske and still not get help until he wants to. Or not.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you peace and big change in your behavior towards your addict. Recommend Nar Anon! You can listen without talking.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 762612, member: 1550"] Hi there. Sorry that you have to walk the same path as most of us. Nothing got better for us until we closed The Bank of Dad and Mom. It took ten years and our marriage on the rocks and my other children very upset with our enabling behavior. We joined NarAnon and got into therapy. Addiction is a family disease and we were sick. Very sick. While there was and is nothing we can do to change our daughter we learned how to detach with love and to work on ourselves and my horrible enabling, in particular. Kay cut off contact when the bank closed but not until she saw that we were truly, truly done spending our retirement on her. She kept testing us but we were done. We gave her not a penny and if she tried to manipulate us out of money, we ended the phone call. Kay is not better and.not worse. She lives ub a dilapidated old moterhome on the street with her useless husband. They both managed to get SSDI from the government with includes Food Share and Meficare%Medicaid plus a case manager that yhey can call but never do call for assistance. My family, minus Kay, are happy and finally peaceful. Most of what helped us came from Nar Anon. There are Zoomeetings now. You can find meeting times and numbers on the internet. These are the three Cs of NarAnon: "I did not cause it, I can not control it, and I can not cure it.".This is all true. We have no power over our addict. We can't control another person or do anything to help. Help doesn't help. We can control the behavior and reactions of one person in the world....us. That is the limit of our power to change anything. Your son will only get well if he wants to. Abuse grim him is not okay. It is domestic abuse. Your son will not succeed ibecause you save him temporarily from the cold and homelessness. He will only succeed by his actions...and only if he wants to. All your help hasn't cured him yet. It won't. You will just go broke. And he will take, take,btske and still not get help until he wants to. Or not. Wishing you peace and big change in your behavior towards your addict. Recommend Nar Anon! You can listen without talking. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The gut punch of motherhood
Top