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The gut punch of motherhood
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 762620" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Broken inside…My heart ached reading your post. So many things. I’ve had such a similar situation. Many of us have. It’s overwhelming and so over the top insane, at times it’s hard to share with others and even if you want to, they may not “get it.” Heck…often times it’s VERY hard for us to “get.” </p><p></p><p>Our adult child broke rules, was chaotic, unkind, moody, impulsive …lacked empathy, manipulative, refused to take an ounce of personal responsibility , often showed little to no remorse , ungrateful, argumentative …you name it. </p><p></p><p>She could do a bit better with a few good friends. And at times briefly with us if she wanted something.</p><p></p><p> But with us her family…well…always unkind etc. </p><p></p><p>To say it was extraordinarily tough is an understatement. </p><p></p><p>It culminated with something so big it became crystal clear to us she did not want to change nor would she. It did not matter how much we gave her …in terms of necessities or help , professional assistance…whatever.</p><p></p><p> And after she caused humongous problems…horrible stress, chaos and sorrow for us ….little to no remorse and a boatload of ugliness directed toward us yet.</p><p></p><p>Similar to you…I’ve read a ton of books, definitely educated myself on mental illness, practiced self care etc.</p><p></p><p>(by the way, was thrilled to see that you said you practiced self care and travelled. Plus reading the detachment piece. Super good stuff. You are a wise and strong woman!!!)</p><p></p><p>I know for me I missed some huge things. She doesn’t want to change. She doesn’t want help. She doesn’t acknowledge for some reason that life isnt working out well for her and she needs help. And hurting us is absolutely not a motivator. Nada.</p><p></p><p>It’s been hard as HECK, but we are moving on. We like the literature at Families Anonymous. Although it’s a tiny bit different since fortunately drugs are not an issue in our case (recognize that sadly this could change…of course we hope not). Oddly, the behaviors seem the same.</p><p></p><p> Those three C’s are powerful and true. And so is that detachment piece. I have found prayer comforting too.</p><p></p><p>Please keep posting here. Lots of wise folks here. </p><p></p><p>Sending good thoughts. </p><p></p><p>Blessings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 762620, member: 4152"] Broken inside…My heart ached reading your post. So many things. I’ve had such a similar situation. Many of us have. It’s overwhelming and so over the top insane, at times it’s hard to share with others and even if you want to, they may not “get it.” Heck…often times it’s VERY hard for us to “get.” Our adult child broke rules, was chaotic, unkind, moody, impulsive …lacked empathy, manipulative, refused to take an ounce of personal responsibility , often showed little to no remorse , ungrateful, argumentative …you name it. She could do a bit better with a few good friends. And at times briefly with us if she wanted something. But with us her family…well…always unkind etc. To say it was extraordinarily tough is an understatement. It culminated with something so big it became crystal clear to us she did not want to change nor would she. It did not matter how much we gave her …in terms of necessities or help , professional assistance…whatever. And after she caused humongous problems…horrible stress, chaos and sorrow for us ….little to no remorse and a boatload of ugliness directed toward us yet. Similar to you…I’ve read a ton of books, definitely educated myself on mental illness, practiced self care etc. (by the way, was thrilled to see that you said you practiced self care and travelled. Plus reading the detachment piece. Super good stuff. You are a wise and strong woman!!!) I know for me I missed some huge things. She doesn’t want to change. She doesn’t want help. She doesn’t acknowledge for some reason that life isnt working out well for her and she needs help. And hurting us is absolutely not a motivator. Nada. It’s been hard as HECK, but we are moving on. We like the literature at Families Anonymous. Although it’s a tiny bit different since fortunately drugs are not an issue in our case (recognize that sadly this could change…of course we hope not). Oddly, the behaviors seem the same. Those three C’s are powerful and true. And so is that detachment piece. I have found prayer comforting too. Please keep posting here. Lots of wise folks here. Sending good thoughts. Blessings. [/QUOTE]
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