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The hope I hung onto while my son was in treatment, has vanished....
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 667059" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi MomofDespair...... our stories are very similar. My son has been in many treatment places starting when he was about 14. He is now 23. He did a couple successfully but always went back to using and he has been kicked out of several treatment or sober living places. So I totally understand your despair.</p><p></p><p>You are right you cannot change him or cure him. He needs to get to the place where he wants it for himself. I know it feels right now that that will never happen. I felt that way too.</p><p></p><p>Then my son moved out of state, seemed to be doing ok, was actually working and really liking his job but was living in a place where he was pretty isolated. We were trying to be supportive and had really backed off on trying to direct him to get treatment. We knew he was drinking a lot and worried about it. He is now 23. Well then he started talking to us a bit more honestly and told us he knew he had to stop drinking but was scared because he had tried and really got the shakes and after looking up detoxing from alcohol was scared to do it alone. We helped him get into detox.... which was all he was initially going to do! That was 2 months ago and he has stayed with their program done the residential program and is now in their step down program. The thing is after all the treatment he has been in, this time it is totally different. His attitude is totally different. He is frustrated by the guys who are not serious about recovery! I think all those times in treatment before he always did what he had to do to get through it but planned on going back to using. I dont know what the future will bring for him, or if he will stay clean but I know he is closer to it than ever before. I tell you all this to give you some hope....and although your son may go back to using he has learned something in treatment even if he doesnt know what it is yet..... and he had some clean time in those brain developing years. Hang in there and keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 667059, member: 15801"] Hi MomofDespair...... our stories are very similar. My son has been in many treatment places starting when he was about 14. He is now 23. He did a couple successfully but always went back to using and he has been kicked out of several treatment or sober living places. So I totally understand your despair. You are right you cannot change him or cure him. He needs to get to the place where he wants it for himself. I know it feels right now that that will never happen. I felt that way too. Then my son moved out of state, seemed to be doing ok, was actually working and really liking his job but was living in a place where he was pretty isolated. We were trying to be supportive and had really backed off on trying to direct him to get treatment. We knew he was drinking a lot and worried about it. He is now 23. Well then he started talking to us a bit more honestly and told us he knew he had to stop drinking but was scared because he had tried and really got the shakes and after looking up detoxing from alcohol was scared to do it alone. We helped him get into detox.... which was all he was initially going to do! That was 2 months ago and he has stayed with their program done the residential program and is now in their step down program. The thing is after all the treatment he has been in, this time it is totally different. His attitude is totally different. He is frustrated by the guys who are not serious about recovery! I think all those times in treatment before he always did what he had to do to get through it but planned on going back to using. I dont know what the future will bring for him, or if he will stay clean but I know he is closer to it than ever before. I tell you all this to give you some hope....and although your son may go back to using he has learned something in treatment even if he doesnt know what it is yet..... and he had some clean time in those brain developing years. Hang in there and keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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The hope I hung onto while my son was in treatment, has vanished....
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