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Parent Emeritus
The hope I hung onto while my son was in treatment, has vanished....
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 667060" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Mom,</p><p></p><p>I am sorry your son has put himself in this position, and I am very very sorry for your grief and despair. You have come to a good place. You sound like you are familiar with 12 step programs...I wonder if you have sought support there yourself? Nar Anon can be incredibly helpful for people in your position.</p><p></p><p>You might also read the article on detachment at the top of this page. A lot of us have found it very helpful.</p><p></p><p>Of course you wish he would change. Of course you hoped this would be the right and final treatment. Of course you have done everything you could, or even more, to help him.</p><p></p><p>Here is something some one said on the forum that helped me: If all your love and support and devotion and grief could save him, he would be saved by now, many times over.</p><p></p><p>The only person who can save him is himself.</p><p></p><p>You can be healthy and whole though, you can enjoy your life and be resilient resource for others and even for him....but you have to escape drowning in his quagmire. Because the drowning hasn't helped him at all, and it has hurt you.</p><p></p><p>Start by writing a signature, so we all know a bit aobut you...are you alone in this? Do you have a partner? Other kids? Friends, family? A job? hobbies? pets? These are all things that can be helpful in learning to separate from his choices. </p><p></p><p>Others will come along. We will listen, and learn from you, and offer our love and support. It is a hard hard journey you are on. We know. We've been there. And we live to tell the tale.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you, today, Mom,</p><p></p><p>Echolette</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 667060, member: 17269"] Mom, I am sorry your son has put himself in this position, and I am very very sorry for your grief and despair. You have come to a good place. You sound like you are familiar with 12 step programs...I wonder if you have sought support there yourself? Nar Anon can be incredibly helpful for people in your position. You might also read the article on detachment at the top of this page. A lot of us have found it very helpful. Of course you wish he would change. Of course you hoped this would be the right and final treatment. Of course you have done everything you could, or even more, to help him. Here is something some one said on the forum that helped me: If all your love and support and devotion and grief could save him, he would be saved by now, many times over. The only person who can save him is himself. You can be healthy and whole though, you can enjoy your life and be resilient resource for others and even for him....but you have to escape drowning in his quagmire. Because the drowning hasn't helped him at all, and it has hurt you. Start by writing a signature, so we all know a bit aobut you...are you alone in this? Do you have a partner? Other kids? Friends, family? A job? hobbies? pets? These are all things that can be helpful in learning to separate from his choices. Others will come along. We will listen, and learn from you, and offer our love and support. It is a hard hard journey you are on. We know. We've been there. And we live to tell the tale. Hugs to you, today, Mom, Echolette [/QUOTE]
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The hope I hung onto while my son was in treatment, has vanished....
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