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Parent Emeritus
The hope I hung onto while my son was in treatment, has vanished....
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<blockquote data-quote="MomOfDespair" data-source="post: 667578" data-attributes="member: 19541"><p>Thanks everyone. It doesn't get any easier but your words are always comforting. He has another bail hearing tomorrow at which he's hoping someone will post bail. I'm almost certain no one will and I'm thankful for that. He's going to spend some time in jail...first offense as an adult but a number of charges. He'll lose his apartment and will have to deal with that upon release. I'm scared and try to find glimmers of hope but the familiarity of the ride has been far long and its getting harder and harder to believe he'll ever change. </p><p></p><p>I realized that I've been an Al-Anon member for over 30 years. I attended in my late teens early 20s while my mom was working through her alcoholism. She achieved sobriety and lived a happy successful recovered life. I began attending meeting again when my son showed signs of alcoholism/substance abuse. I have found the meetings are not what I'm looking for and they do not help me. In fact, I feel more frustrated when I leave a meeting than I did before I went. It seems their role is to allow you to tell y our story, and they tell theirs. All good. However, I need advice, opinions and thoughts. I have lots of family and friends who listen and support me but I don't have anyone knowledgeable on a personal level to bounce ideas off of and get feedback. Al-Anon avoids that. I no longer attend their meetings hence, the reason I joined this group. I want to hear what others have gone through and what worked for them, or didn't. I want to receive advice and feedback from others regarding my situation. </p><p></p><p>I am fortunate that I have a therapist who worked with my son while he was in treatment and, is now willing to help me with this I also have a connection with my son's PO from when he was involved with the juvenile system. So yes, there are positive things I can focus on. I also have my faith which has helped me through a lot. I don't attend church regularly but I still believe there's power in prayer. Its comforting to 'talk' to my parents (who've passed). Weird, know but it helps me and that's all I care about.</p><p></p><p>If anyone has anything further to add that might give me hope, please feel free to say so.</p><p></p><p>The uphill battle continues.......I just hope my son realizes all I have done and do for him. I miss my boy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MomOfDespair, post: 667578, member: 19541"] Thanks everyone. It doesn't get any easier but your words are always comforting. He has another bail hearing tomorrow at which he's hoping someone will post bail. I'm almost certain no one will and I'm thankful for that. He's going to spend some time in jail...first offense as an adult but a number of charges. He'll lose his apartment and will have to deal with that upon release. I'm scared and try to find glimmers of hope but the familiarity of the ride has been far long and its getting harder and harder to believe he'll ever change. I realized that I've been an Al-Anon member for over 30 years. I attended in my late teens early 20s while my mom was working through her alcoholism. She achieved sobriety and lived a happy successful recovered life. I began attending meeting again when my son showed signs of alcoholism/substance abuse. I have found the meetings are not what I'm looking for and they do not help me. In fact, I feel more frustrated when I leave a meeting than I did before I went. It seems their role is to allow you to tell y our story, and they tell theirs. All good. However, I need advice, opinions and thoughts. I have lots of family and friends who listen and support me but I don't have anyone knowledgeable on a personal level to bounce ideas off of and get feedback. Al-Anon avoids that. I no longer attend their meetings hence, the reason I joined this group. I want to hear what others have gone through and what worked for them, or didn't. I want to receive advice and feedback from others regarding my situation. I am fortunate that I have a therapist who worked with my son while he was in treatment and, is now willing to help me with this I also have a connection with my son's PO from when he was involved with the juvenile system. So yes, there are positive things I can focus on. I also have my faith which has helped me through a lot. I don't attend church regularly but I still believe there's power in prayer. Its comforting to 'talk' to my parents (who've passed). Weird, know but it helps me and that's all I care about. If anyone has anything further to add that might give me hope, please feel free to say so. The uphill battle continues.......I just hope my son realizes all I have done and do for him. I miss my boy. [/QUOTE]
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The hope I hung onto while my son was in treatment, has vanished....
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