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Parent Emeritus
The I-Told-You-So Look
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<blockquote data-quote="wakeupcall" data-source="post: 677864" data-attributes="member: 2287"><p>Difficult Child is twenty. Adopted at birth from a family we knew well. At the time everyone (mostly family) thought, and told us, it was the wrong thing to do. Now with all his difficulties, drama, heartache and sadness....there's the I-told-you-so look and the sighs and the rolling of eyes. Difficult from day one, still difficult, with no maturing in sight. We worked and worked and worked to try to make his life different and productive, to no avail. He's not had a job longer than about two weeks, smokes pot every day and maybe more, sleeps all day and runs all night. He's had five vehicles since the age of seventeen. Yes, at this age I think he could be better, but his father (my ex) is an enabler and will not listen to my pleas. I worry myself almost sick though I've followed this board's advice and I'm not an enabler. I live about ten miles from my ex and our son, pay for nothing except his phone which while on my plan costs $15/mo. I will give him no cash, no presents except Christmas/Birthday, but I do buy him an occasional lunch with me. I SO wanted to prove everyone wrong....that he could be a wonderful human being and loving and fun and respectful and warm and I could be proud. I doubt it' ever going to happen........and I hate the I-Told-You-So look.....and as hard as I try to go on, I'm deeply saddened to have to alienate myself as I do when I have an abundance of love for him.</p><p></p><p>Sorry, just needed to vent a little today.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wakeupcall, post: 677864, member: 2287"] Difficult Child is twenty. Adopted at birth from a family we knew well. At the time everyone (mostly family) thought, and told us, it was the wrong thing to do. Now with all his difficulties, drama, heartache and sadness....there's the I-told-you-so look and the sighs and the rolling of eyes. Difficult from day one, still difficult, with no maturing in sight. We worked and worked and worked to try to make his life different and productive, to no avail. He's not had a job longer than about two weeks, smokes pot every day and maybe more, sleeps all day and runs all night. He's had five vehicles since the age of seventeen. Yes, at this age I think he could be better, but his father (my ex) is an enabler and will not listen to my pleas. I worry myself almost sick though I've followed this board's advice and I'm not an enabler. I live about ten miles from my ex and our son, pay for nothing except his phone which while on my plan costs $15/mo. I will give him no cash, no presents except Christmas/Birthday, but I do buy him an occasional lunch with me. I SO wanted to prove everyone wrong....that he could be a wonderful human being and loving and fun and respectful and warm and I could be proud. I doubt it' ever going to happen........and I hate the I-Told-You-So look.....and as hard as I try to go on, I'm deeply saddened to have to alienate myself as I do when I have an abundance of love for him. Sorry, just needed to vent a little today..... [/QUOTE]
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