The Indian and the Hillbilly ~ humor

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Aug 13, 2008.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Two Indians and a West Virginia Hillbilly were walking through the woods.
    All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.
    "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"he called into the cave and listened
    closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

    The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about. "Was the other Indian crazy or what?" The Indian replied "No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful woman in there waiting for us."

    Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was the answer. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"from deep inside.
    He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

    The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, "Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave!
    It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!" He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might
    "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

    Like the others, he then heard an answering call,
    With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

    The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read....

    (Get ready, this will kill ya),

  2. Star*

    Star* call 911

    difficult child Grandma??

    Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd
    been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the
    house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when 2 people are
    sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
    She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth.
    "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
    Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play
    with the other kids.
    A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is
    not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds! ... and Jimmy's
    Mom wants to talk to you"!!
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Ya don't say;)

    Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was
    drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
    That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
    On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
    That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
    On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap
    The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    The WORST age -

    "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man.
    "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."
    "Ah,that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't
    have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on
    the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"
    "Actually," said the 80-year old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
    "Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
    "No, I pee every morning at
    6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."
    "So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"
    "No, I have one every morning at
    Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at
    6:00 and **** every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

    "I don't wake up until
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    The difficult child grandma one had me falling off the chair. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Very funny!!! Made me laugh while I am cooking...
  7. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Too cute.

  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, I take offense to that.... if I thought yelling "woooo! wooooo!" would get me the man of my dreams, then you ladies laughed at me over it.... then laughed at the newspaper article the next day, I would be devastated.

  10. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    So, Star, you've heard all of my family stories, huh!