The Kings English - verbal pet peeves

[Star*]

OMG (slaps head) I can't believe I did NOT think of this before.

The next time "I" want to thank someone I belive will say the dreaded "no problem" ....the conversation could go like this:

(to grocery store clerk) - not naming names

Traditional:
I really appreciate you taking me to that box of cereal instead of pointing to an aisle, thank you.
Clerk: "No problem."
Modified:
"I really appreciate you taking me to that box of cereal instead of pointing to it. Would you please get your pocketbook and hand over all the money in your purse?"
Clerk: "No problem."
Me: "Thanks again."
Clerk: (handing money to me) "NO PROBLEM."
or
"I really appreciate you taking me to that box of cereal instead of pointing to it. Now will you go get the keys to your car and the title?"
Clerk: "NO problem."
Me: "Very gracious of you, thanks."
Clerk: "NO PROBLEM."

See? Turn disadvantage into YOUR advantage.
How about?

"I really appreciate you taking me to that box of cereal instead of pointing to it. Now I will be back here with all 4 of my teenaged difficult children and you will take immediate responsibility for their lives?"
Clerk: "What are you kidding me....er I mean....NO PROBLEM."
Me: "You are a dear, thanks."
Clerk "No problem."
Me: "Yeah you think not.
pft.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddd.......

HOW ABOUT - take my x please?

see this could work -
Clerk: "NO problem."

 

[TerryJ2]

Star, you are so bad! LOL!

I have a bad habit of repeating/rephrasing what people have said. "We don't got none." "Oh, I see you don't have any."

Not that they listen. It just makes me feel better.

Shades of Abbey ... I once went to a chiro in MN who, instead of asking me where I was hurting and what he could do about it, closed the door and said, "What is your pleasure?"
Aaaargh! I laughed and said, "I have a lot of pleasures, but right now I want my neck fixed."

We charged the kids 25 cents every time they said "like." They don't say it any more.

Okay, one more. The dad of my best friend in HS was not only a stickler for good English, but a lawyer. Stereotyped. Argumentative. Stubborn. He refused to let me speak to her on the phone unless I said, "May I speak to Chris?" instead of "Can I talk to Chris?"
He'd say, "I don't know, can you?"

 

[Star*]

Bad is my middle name.

I think at one point we would have PAID Dude a dime to say "like" instead of "F".

 

[Ropefree]

For years I did not have a table in my house. Teaching my son proper table manners was important to me. Every attempt I made went wrong. For example i asked his father to teach table manners and the oof threw his hands over his head and took my son to sit on the ground in front of a bench. When I finally did have a table the first time we sat at it was with a teenage sitter in the mist of his rebellion who knew better and was just as anti-mannerly as can be.

Here comes the punchline...wait for it...

So one day we are going to eat with others and it is so important to me that my son reflect the best table manners. So I said " Behave as if you are eatting with the Queen."

We live in the US and at this young age my son had not had tv. However the British have made SUCH a long lasting impression my son sat up straight in his chair, pursed his lips and raised his pinkie.

....just for the record...ok origins were "it is so"...not exactly an alternative to YES.

 

[flutterbee]

Technically speaking, "You're welcome" really isn't appropriate either. It implies that the person has done you a favor. If a friend asks me to do something - or my kids or whoever - and they say "Thank you", then "You're welcome" is appropriate. Otherwise, when someone says, "Thank you", I say, "My pleasure".

 

[Abbey]

This is getting far too confusing. And, by the way, it's been MY PLEASURE reading the thread. No problem. hehe...

Abbey

 

[TerryJ2]

Heh heh.

 

[Abbey]

We are a narly bunch. No wonder our kids are difficult children. (kidding)

Abbey

 

[trinityroyal]

And are there any other resort services I can provide to this thread?

(ducking and running for cover...)

 

[eekysign]

Aww, I like "No problem".

I'm in agreement with some of the previous posters. To me, "You're welcome" implies I did you a favor. When I tell someone "no problem", it's saying, "It was no problem for me to do it for you, I did it gladly". It's the English equivalent of "de nada". It's nothing, it's not a problem, it's such a small thing I'm uncomfortable with you even thanking me for it.

Actually, that's really it. I do say "you're welcome", but only when it's a BIG deal. I use "no problem" when it's a minor thing, something that it literally was NO problem for me to do. I usually pair "no problem" with a shy grin and a shake of my head, too.

 

[Marguerite]

Then there's the Australian version (which I use regularly) - "no worries."

Or "she'll be right, mate."

Marg

 

[totoro]

Me being the Californian that I am, have horrible grammar that I have spent many a year trying to correct.

I do find myself uttering the occasional, (don't tell anyone) like, you know and a few others that would have Star* ripping her hair out. Or rapping my knuckles.

My response to, "Thank You" Is,
"Whatever!"
Or "Yeah sure ya' betcha"
Or "Huh? Oh yeah sure"
I'm teaching my kids real well to! LOL

 

[flutterbee]

A young lady from the midwest boards a plane for California. She sits down and attempts to strike up a conversation with the woman seated next to her. "Hi! Where are you from?"

The woman snottily responded, "Where I'm from, we know better than to end our sentences with a preposition."

The young lady sits back and thinks a minute. Then turns to the woman and asks, "Where are you from, b!tch?"

 

[Abbey]

A young lady from the midwest boards a plane for California. She sits down and attempts to strike up a conversation with the woman seated next to her. "Hi! Where are you from?"

The woman snottily responded, "Where I'm from, we know better than to end our sentences with a preposition."

The young lady sits back and thinks a minute. Then turns to the woman and asks, "Where are you from, b!tch?"

Dying laughing!!! No preposition there!

"Yeah sure ya' betcha" - I hear that constantly up here.

Abbey

 

[Star*]

ROFLMBO -

HEATHER YOU NAUGHTY THING! Good joke!

 

[donna723]

OK, since this is a thread about "verbal pet peeves", I'm gonna tell you mine, knowing full well that I may catch some flack from it ... but this one always makes me either cringe or giggle every time I hear it, depending on what mood I'm in!

So maybe it's just me, and far be it for me to rain on anybody's parade, but I think if I hear just one more dewy-eyed young couple proudly come out with the dopey phrase, "WE'RE pregnant!", or "WE got pregnant!", I think I'm gonna hurl! Every time I hear this, dozens of smart*$$ remarks instantly come to mind like ...

"Both of you? TWO babies! You'll really have your hands full!", or

"Which one of you is due first?", or

(to the expectant daddy) "Honey, she'll have a lot easier time of it than YOU will!"

Maybe it's just me, and maybe it's because I'm older than dirt, but it just sounds so stupid to me when people say this! Look up the word "pregnant", folks! It means to have a tiny little offspring growing inside your body! Now I am all for the daddy being totally involved in the birth of his child - but HE is not "pregnant" (unless he's that weird 'guy' in the news!" - SHE is!

HE is an expectant father, HE is a future parent, HE is responsible for her being in that condition, but HE is not 'pregnant"! It's carrying the sharing experience way too far and it just sounds silly! You notice that it's mostly couples in the early stages that use this dopey phrase! Later on, in the 8th or 9th month, when SHE is the one who can't get up out of a chair without help and SHE is the one with hemorrhoids hanging down to her knees, it becomes abundantly clear which one of them is "pregnant" ... and it sure ain't HIM!

(Is there still room in the corner? I'll bring cupcakes ...)

 

[KTMom91]

I don't like being referred to as a "guy". You know, like when you're sitting in a restaurant, and the waiter comes up, and he says, "How are you guys doing today?" Ya get me on this?

Anyway, hope it's no problem.

Move over, Donna, I'll be joining you and those cupcakes. I'll bring ice cream.

 

[GoingNorth]

You guys was actually Northern Central US for "Y'all".

My pet peeve is being female and being referred to as "dude"...

I'm usually pretty liberal about regional/age related language usage, but that one justs frosts my ovaries.

Don't whack me, but testicles are correctly referred to in Spanish as "cojones" and pronounced "co-HONE-ez".

Women do NOT have cojones. They have ovaries. (And should be proud of the fact)

 

[Abbey]

OMG. I'm going to have a neurotic moment here, which is not unusual, but language drives me nuts.

So now I'm not supposed to say 'not a problem,' and now it's 'you guys?" I think this is an inside conspiracy to keep my mouth shut. (ok, I don't have my glasses on so I'm not exactually sure what I am typing.)

So now my reponse can't be...Not a problem. It's been a pleasure helping you guys. You ladies have a great afternoon. It's been my pleasure.

Alright...I'm a bit grouchy. I'm going to play with the dog next door.

Abbey

 

[cadydid]

It drives me absolutely insane when my kids ask " Can I do this or can I have this or can I go to xxxx's houses.

It drives them just as crazy when I look at them and say, " I don't know can you?"