the last 24 hours

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Apr 25, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, yesterday I was waiting at difficult child's bus stop to pick him up and take him to appointment with PO to get his monitor put on. Was he there- NO!! So I go home, call sd to see if he got on bus or if he thought I was going to pick him up from school. They say he got on bus. I call PO and left message that we will be late (he has neverbeen late before) because I CAN"T FIND HIM. I drive around neighborhood, give up after a few mins, come back home and he is at home. Ok, I get him in car, get him to PO, approx 8 mins late, he tells her he got off at different bus stop and thought the appointment was later in the day. Ok. She puts monitor on him, he goes along with it all just fine- no complaining and like he's not worried about it. He was super energetic last night then when I wake him up this morning for school, he sounds like he is raging but he has tears rolling down the face.

    I start with the consequences, rewards, punishments lecture. (Why, I don't know- it became obvious to me a long time ago that this always makes my difficult child worse). Again, that didn't work, so I come downstairs to regroup. Then, I went back upstairs and sat calmly and said we needed to discuss appropriate and acceptable solutions (he was telling me all about the kids at school who had already been giving him a hard time, and now with the monitor, things would be horrible, etc). So, finally he agrees that he will go to school if I go with him and we have a talk about all this to an administartor. (He's about 20 mins late at this point.) So, I call and finally get an administrator on phone- principal and asst. principal agree to meet after I tell them difficult child is home, wants to come to school, but has some serious concerns that he would like to discuss.

    We get there and fill them in, they have some good ideas and difficult child opens up to them a little. This seemed to go well and actually might have helped them see that he really does have some emotional problems- it isn't a joke or excuse. They offer some temporary solutions which are acceptable to difficult child and me and he feels better. Then, toward the end of the meeting, difficult child brings up that a kid was trying to sell pot at school yesterday. I wasn't so sure because difficult child just said "he heard someone say something about it in the hallway". I'm thinking this could have been hearing parts of a conversation about a movie, a joke, anything. Principal says, no, it doesn't matter, we want to hear about any discussion about this in our school. So, the asst principal takes difficult child to another room, since they agreed that today he can just work outside the regular classroom. (first time they have utilized "safe place" approach for him.)

    difficult child comes home today and wow, what a day- I guess he had identifed the drug seller to the asst principal through photos. They checked- the kid had a backpack FULL of pot- got arrested and policeman told difficult child that was the biggest drug busst ever at that school. Then, difficult child told them about the kid selling alcohol again and that this kid he went to on Sun (which is why he's on the montior) bought this alcohol and pot from the other kid. So, I guess they checked that out and it sounds like the kid selling alcohol got suspended and we don't know what happened to the one buying all this.

    So, now I think maybe there was a little more bothering difficult child than just wearing that monitor to school. I have to wonder though, why did they spend time arresting him for the computer tear-up when they obviously have a lot bigger problems in that school. They said they would put a good word into PO for him- I hope they do. (We had a similar incidence in elementary school and that principal just called police to try to have him arrested for truancy).

    Just another day, I guess....
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a day. I think it sounds like they were really trying to listen to him about why he felt uncomfortable. It's good that they were able to get the drug dealer out of school. Your difficult child definitely deserves a positive phone call from the principal after all he did today. Hugs.
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member


    i haven't been here for a bit. i just read what happened. i think that's great that he opened up to them and told them what he heard and that it was confirmed and the kids were caught. difficult child must have felt good about himself on that one. yes??

    also yup the school, schools in general handle various issues so strangely. one issue is minor and they blow their lids, yet so much bad goes on and no one deals with it.

    so what purpose does the monitor serve?? sorry i've been gone for bit again.

  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    He deserves a BIG attaboy for that move today! Took a lot of guts to do it, and shows he has character. I sure hope the school acknowledges his effort to "make good" and that the PO gets a blow-by-blow account of his cooperation. That has to count for something.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks, Ladies! I'm going to try to help him feel a little more special this weekend- I just need to come up with something. I do worry though about the telling on all these peeople. Besides the obvious concern of what if they figure out it was him and try to retaliate or harm him? And, maybe it is just because it was in the 1970's when I went thru my teen years, but should I be teaching him that there should be a limit or a "line" of when to turn someone in and when not to? The backpack full of pot and selling vodka- any kind of "dealing" going on- should be reported, I think. But, once he's in high school, should everything he finds out about other kids be reported? I think some times I would feel more comfortable just telling the parents of the other kid, if I have ability to contact them. But, where is that line?
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member


    that's an interesting question. i think i would say to tell him that reporting if someone could possibly harm themselves or others than it's a good thing, hence drugs, fights, etc. yet to let him know to come to you with it and then the two of you can discuss together how you should handle it.

    i see your point with the other kids possibly retaliating. i could def. see that. my older one is in high school and if she "ratted" out that's what they call it other kids i could def. see her being made to pay the price. high school's rough. i don't think it matterswhere you live. kids can just be very rough.

  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Holy cow. What a day!
    Good for him. Bravo. I hope he can dodge and issues that may come up because of the drug issues. In our schools those kids would be kicked out for the rest of the yr so the whistleblower wouldn't have to worry about it. Or so the theory goes.
    Sounds like the admin needs to get their collective heads in the right place; they've been off target for a while.