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The letter he'll never read
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 636791" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My heart aches for you. A great letter. Will he read it? If he even gets halfway through it, if he is a typical empathy-challenged difficult child, he will get angry at you, not more understanding. Short and sweet works better if we actually mail letters to our difficult children. With all the energy they put into their lifestyles, they have something like minimal attention to read and soak up info. I wrote a smiliar, but much shorter letter, to 36. When I asked him about it, he said (this is not verbatim) "Oh! That. I just threw it out. Figured you were in a bad mood and feeling sorry for yourself...haha." That is NOT what he said. I don't remember exactly what he said, because my head was spinning. He basically had forgotten I wrote it, then when asked about it made it into a joke. I had poured out my heart, then shortened the letter making sure every power point was put in, but in a way that it could be read in under three minutes. It was filled with my love, mn angst, my frustration, my tears.</p><p></p><p>He totally didn't "get" it. <em><strong>He threw it away!</strong></em> That was just one of many instances where I was forced to see my son with the clarity I would rather blur. I don't write real letters anymore. I write them then throw them away. They are for ME, not him.</p><p></p><p>I hope your difficult child reads it and has a different reaction to the beautifully expressed love and emotions your sent to him.</p><p></p><p>Word: That respect thing sounds like street talk. Not to scare you, but if you disrespect someone in a gang, they will hit you. I don't think your son is in a gang...I just meant that when you have so little in your life, things like being respected by others, even if you don't deserve it, becomes HUGE. And it's nonsense. Nobody respects somebody who mooches off family, breaks the law and uses drugs. We can love them, but respect them? For WHAT? I don't know what your son really means when he talks that way...</p><p></p><p>HUgs and more hugs and please do something nice for yourself today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 636791, member: 1550"] My heart aches for you. A great letter. Will he read it? If he even gets halfway through it, if he is a typical empathy-challenged difficult child, he will get angry at you, not more understanding. Short and sweet works better if we actually mail letters to our difficult children. With all the energy they put into their lifestyles, they have something like minimal attention to read and soak up info. I wrote a smiliar, but much shorter letter, to 36. When I asked him about it, he said (this is not verbatim) "Oh! That. I just threw it out. Figured you were in a bad mood and feeling sorry for yourself...haha." That is NOT what he said. I don't remember exactly what he said, because my head was spinning. He basically had forgotten I wrote it, then when asked about it made it into a joke. I had poured out my heart, then shortened the letter making sure every power point was put in, but in a way that it could be read in under three minutes. It was filled with my love, mn angst, my frustration, my tears. He totally didn't "get" it. [I][B]He threw it away![/B][/I] That was just one of many instances where I was forced to see my son with the clarity I would rather blur. I don't write real letters anymore. I write them then throw them away. They are for ME, not him. I hope your difficult child reads it and has a different reaction to the beautifully expressed love and emotions your sent to him. Word: That respect thing sounds like street talk. Not to scare you, but if you disrespect someone in a gang, they will hit you. I don't think your son is in a gang...I just meant that when you have so little in your life, things like being respected by others, even if you don't deserve it, becomes HUGE. And it's nonsense. Nobody respects somebody who mooches off family, breaks the law and uses drugs. We can love them, but respect them? For WHAT? I don't know what your son really means when he talks that way... HUgs and more hugs and please do something nice for yourself today. [/QUOTE]
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The letter he'll never read
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