The list of requests

[DammitJanet]

I agree with most everyone one else but I just want to say my experience with homebound.

Now granted it didnt happen until Cory was older but our SD used it to basically slide him right out the door. He was 15 and a half and they suspended him for an indefinite amount of time and said the would provide homebound services for the rest of the year because he was under an IEP. We never saw any teacher. When I went to the school to ask about it...the principal told me that if I would just walk away they wouldnt report him absent and get the truancy officers involved. So basically...they just said, we dont want to teach him anymore, its too much trouble. I was tired too. I gave up. He wasnt helping. I cried uncle.

At 8? I wouldnt do homebound unless it was for sickness or a broken leg.

 

[Shari]

I took partial days off the list altogether.

Now, I will negotiate with them...I will take partial days IF they provide a tutor, an additional placement...something other than he's just done at noon. That doesn't fly. But I'm not saying that up front. I want a full day or its equivilient.

 

[Marguerite]

Janet, I am appalled that a kid would be suspended (and offered homebound) and then they say "We WON'T call in the truancy people if you stop hassling us for what we are supposed to have provided."

How can a school call the truant officer on a kid that has been suspended?
"I can't go to school because I've been suspended. So how does that make me a truant?"

I do understand the feeling that it is easier to walk away, though. I have seen it happen many times and frankly, it is what too many incompetent schools are counting on. The aim here for you, Shari, is to suddenly make it clear that you are the parent who will NOT shut up, will NOT walk away.

I really do agree, this school THINKS they can slide by and sort of get it (but would rather not have to) but really, they have no clue at all.

I've had to leave the room while they all talked about him...

Did they ask you to leave? Or did you choose to leave because what they were saying was upsetting you? AT NO TIME should you ever be asked to leave a Learning Team Meeting that is about YOUR child. YOU are a vital member of the learning team (so is the child, especially as they get older - they have to have input as well) and the school MUST accept this.

This makes me so angry for you and Wee, Shari. It should not be your job to fight for this, they should be coming to you and saying, "We can do this, this or this. What would you like to see happen this year for Wee?"

I'm not sure if I have already told you of a friend I was talking to on Saturday. Her son has been attending the SpEd drama class difficult child 3 goes to (extra-curricular). This kid has recently been diagnosed Aspie, is about 10 yo. Very hyperactive also, a handful now doing a lot better on medications. The mum told me that now he's doing better her son is being transitioned back to school, will be on half days this term. I asked if he is on Distance Ed (what we probably have instead of homebound - you guys should have this, it's brilliant) and the mum said no, he's at a behaviour school for the hours he's not in mainstream with aide. And the school transports with supervision between the two placements. The school's aim is to get him transitioned full-time into mainstream.
Is this sort of placement possible? Because apparently for us, it's common.

I've mentioned about Distance Education before - this is a state-based school. Students can only access it if they meet certain criteria (so you can't decided, "I'm fed up with attending school, I want to study Distance Ed"). Students are eligible for Distance Ed if they have school phobia; school avoidance; have had serious social issues at mainstream; or are vocational students (such as the tennis brats, performing arts kids, sports prodigies) or travelling or in some other way living too remotely. Documentation is needed (from specialists, if it's a medical enrolment). I campaigned for another option which has been set up in a couple of schools - students attending mainstream, but with a Special Education class that they can 'retreat' to, for subjects where they are struggling. So an Aspie kid gifted in Maths & Science can go to the mainstream classes, but for subjects where they need more support, its back to the home room and their Distance Ed bookwork.

Distance Ed is physically located within another government-based school, but it's mostly offices. Teachers are available over the phone or by email, work is all on paper (or online) and had copy is posted out. Students do the work and the parent or supervisor signs off on it and posts it back. The work doesn't go away like it can in mainstream (a very unhealthy lesson - procrastinate in mainstream and the subject moves on). The down side of Distance ed is especially with a younger child, you need to be home to keep their nose to the grindstone. The up side - it's a lot easier for a distractible or anxious child to get the work done all during school hours, so when other kids are getting home from school, your child is available to go play. What we had in mainstream, was difficult child 3 bringing home all the work he hadn't finished in mainstream, so he never had time to go play after school. He has had much more and healthier social interaction when studying at home.
Anyway, that is what we have and how it works. When I saw "homebound" that is what I thought you meant. If that is NOT what "homebound" is, then it should be.
Shari, when you've got something in place for Wee that you're happy with, maybe getting the Dept of Ed in your state to set up a Distance Ed program could be your next project? Because it takes parents like you and me to get things happening.

Do not forget, in your meetings at the school, that in those meetings you and Wee are the most important people there. Never let them make you feel that you are in the way, or an inconvenience, or a nuisance.

Go get 'em!

Marg

 

[Shari]

Thanks, Marg. When I say homebound, for now, I am meaning some alternate placement in addition to his partial days. Your distance ed would be fine with me, so long as they gave him a person to help him with it. I am not goiing to extend the school-created battle ground into my home. Sorry...no go. Ship him to the alternative school in the afternoon. Place him in a therapeutic day setting. I don't care, but they educate him for a full day. Period.

As for leaving during the meeting, I just couldn't bite my tongue any longer. I called a break and I walked away. ExMIL and case mgr stayed in the room to assure the meeting STOPPED. ExMIL also gave an Oscar winning speech on trust, and why I (rightfully) have none with them.

So if any of those people in that room have any clue about behaviors....they should see the writing on the wall... They can FBA me and see that a meltdown is coming. My fuse is long, but its about burnt up. If they haven't seen this coming, then they're more clueless than I thought.

In 24 hours, we'll know where we stand.

 

[Marguerite]

Thanks for clarifying, Shari. I understand now what you meant.

Your distance ed would be fine with me, so long as they gave him a person to help him with it. I am not goiing to extend the school-created battle ground into my home. Sorry...no go.

I need to clarify here - this is a common concern of parents facing this option. It was my concern too. But we found (and talking to other parents it is a common finding) that battles are minimal. And if there are problems, the school (Distance Ed) will step in and take over the nagging. Because the work doesn't go away, the student eventually realises he may as well do it. We have the option of face to face lessons either in the home or at the school. We also have (optional) study days at the school where other students also turn up. I've seen Study Days with only two students, and others with 50. In the earlier years with difficult child 3, as soon as it became apparent that there were social issues, a teacher was assigned to shadow him and keep him (and other kids) safe. Even though I was also present.

WHen I had my radiation treatment earlier this year, I had to be out of the house daily, right when I was needed to get difficult child 3 up out of bed and ready to get to work. Our biggest battle still, is transition to work. difficult child 3 would keep gaming for hours or all day if he could. And I wasn't there in person to chase him, I was at the Cancer Centre. So the school SpEd offered to telephone difficult child 3 every morning five minutes before start time. husband & I would ring home first about half an hour before school start to make sure difficult child 3 was up and medicated. Also, SpEd would organise teachers to telephone. Some lessons could be handled over the telephone. And because the hospital was more than halfway to the school, we set up some face to face lessons at the school for difficult child 3 on some days. We would go to the hospital first then continue on to the school. I would catnap in the car while difficult child 3 had lessons (one on one is good - he can't duck out of it). SpEd organised it all.

My radiation treatment finished on 30 June but SpEd still telephones each morning. If she fails to ring, difficult child 3 rings the school and asks for her!

Anyway, that is how it works here. And how it SHOULD work in your area. This is state-based education for those kids who need extra support with home-based education for a range of reasons. I'm actually about to help out again with another staff selection panel as parent representative. It is voluntary, the school asked me to do this about two years ago but currently I'm the only parent who's had the relevant training. I'm happy to help them, because at last we have found an education system (and staff) who are ready to put in the effort. Staff don't always understand difficult child 3, but they're prepared to learn. THAT is what makes my involvement worthwhile.

Would you believe it could be possible to teach Phys Ed by correspondence? But they do! And do it well. difficult child 3 did Phys Ed last year, and that teacher still makes an effort to talk to him whenever we visit. Even kicking a ball around the playground (which they share with the attached elementary school). Flamin' brilliant!

Seriously - if there isn't one in your state, and you feel it should be, then PM me for the school's website and you could use it as a template to campaign for some sensible, practical solutions which surely should be welcomed by a Dept of Ed desperate to meet their legal requirements. I'm sure that there would be a willing sharing of information across the oceans.

Marg

 

[Shari]

Your distance ed does seem like a good deal. I'd love to read more.

I doubt I'd ever get this district to do it, but who knows what districts we'll be involved with before this is over.

Meeting is in 7 hours.

 

[confuzzled]

::good luck!::

 

[CrazyinVA]

Just wanted to add my "good luck" to you in this battle.

This may or may not be relevant, since you're not seeking homebound services in the home, per se, but I wanted to add my experience with homebound in my county. Both Oldest and Youngest were put on homebound several times. Oldest the most, because of her health issues from the Crohn's (she was in and out of the hospital). Our issue was a lack of homebound teachers (i.e, funding). Each time one of my kids was put on homebound, it took at least 2 weeks for them to find a teacher to fill the spot. In one case, Oldest finally got her homebound teacher, and her assignments, the week before she was to return to school. We ended up having the "homebound" teacher come after school/evenings for a couple more weeks, to help her make up the work. Still, it was infuriating, because for the majority of the time they were "homebound," my kids weren't getting ANY instruction. They just fell further behind. Given your school's issues with personnel resources, I wanted to share that experience.