The little things I hold on to.....

buddy

New Member
I have to give Q his medications in a minute but when I woke I was immediately brought back to how we went to bed last night. He was typical Q, really little things here and there. But he has this thing for the last many months where every single sentence he says to me ends in a name calling thing, not even in a mean way, just that blurt way....."thanks for the new pants, dooshie" He has no clue what he is saying at times... I have really tried to get him to practice saying other things...when he sees if I can't keep a neutral face, he says, sorry, just kidding. Of course we have the Kidding is fun stuff, not mean stuff conversations..

So last night as I could hear it coming at the end of a sentence I made a little "UH" sound and he said, wait....wait...."weirdo" OK he actually said it in a cute tone of voice and it did not sound mean and I doubt he will get suspended for that word and I said, YES I AM... then later he said something about beign a goofy toe..... I thought, this kid is really trying hard.


Our nights are often the best times, he reviews his whole day in his mind I fear, often feeling awful for the things that happened. But often trying to revise things in his mind, and this is when I usually hear about any of his fears, worries, hopes, desires, etc. I thank God for those moments. I really try to hold on to them.


by the way, the lawyer advocate called, she said she had a meeting at a highschool in our district, same sp ed coordinator (YOU guys would be sick what she is working on with about 26 kids in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC)....they are saying their earned credits will not count and after months of placement they are saying they wont pay...ugggg she has already gotten it reversed for a couple)

Anyway, after the meeting the sp. ed coordinator said to her, well you sound better. (she had near total laryngitis at my meeting so could barely contribute but took lots of notes and went into action afterward)... she said yes... AND is there any way you can put the principal in a broom closet for the next IEP meeting? LOL. Coordinator said, well he really just wants to be involved (UGGG the political bs) and advocate said UMMM he is not a new transfer, if he really cared he would have been involved two years ago and all this time. He just got on his radar because Q said bad words to HIM. She said, if he ever talks like that to this mom again I will stop the meeting and we will have issues. WOW, I have never had anyone stand up for me like that. Our ARC advocate was great. I mean it. BUT this was not just for Q, this was for me and I reallly just sat on the other end of the phone with little tears coming down.


Well, folks .... it is medication time. Ready to hop on the hamster wheel again, lol
 
Buddy,

It's so important to hold onto those "little" things! There were times I was so angry, so frustrated, so hurt, so sad, that I had trouble seeing the bigger picture - I just wanted to put a "FREE" sign around my difficult children's necks and leave them by the side of the road... It was at times like these, when I thought I couldn't take one more minute living in the constant chaos, the constant HE77 my difficult children created, that I took out photo albums of them when they were babies, of days when we used to go to the park to feed the ducks, the good times we had, no matter how few and far in between they seemed to be, that got me back on track. I also cherished the small moments, when difficult child 1 made me a ceramic dish at school, carefully thinking about the color choices, wanting it to look "beautiful" in our living room, when he scribbled a note to me and left it along with a bunch of change, telling me I was the best mom in the entire world and deserved a cup of coffee from my favorite drive-thru, when difficult child 2 could finally say the word "mama,", etc..., etc..., etc.... It's so important to hold onto these memories... If I hadn't, I'm sure I would have lost my sanity by now, lol...

I understand the tears when the lawyer advocate stuck up for you. It is such a relief to know that someone cares... that someone understands the anger, frustration, sadness felt when having to deal with an incompetent school system. That someone is finally on your side... Hugs... SFR
 

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I definitely understand the importance of holding on to the little things. If I didn't do that I would probably be insane by now! I too understand those tears. It's so nice to know someone is there and believes in you.
 
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