The many sides to difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, May 7, 2012.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Overall, for difficult child, he has been having a good school year. However, in the last week we received an email and two phone calls all about his behaviors. They put up with a lot so I know it had to be really bothering them to call and email. Basically he has been really disrespectful, bullying, and teasing (as well as being teased himself).

    This is a hard time of the year for difficult child-always is as the school year draws to a close (still 5 weeks to go).

    So for the other side... today in the mail we received a letter that says difficult child has received an award. It is an award recognizing African Americans. This one does not say what he is being recognized for (neither did easy child/difficult child when she won one in 7th grade). I love difficult child like crazy, still I'll be really interested to see which teacher nominated him for the award and for what reason. I hope that doesn't sound negative; I'm very proud of him.

    The ceremony is on the 20th of this month. When easy child/difficult child received hers the ceremony was incredibly long. How are we going to get difficult child to behave for this long of a ceremony? It's probably beyond what he is capable for but we still want him to be able to receive it there. He is very excited.

    Any great ideas on how to help him make it through the ceremony?
  2. SmallTownMom

    SmallTownMom New Member

    Do you have to go for the whole ceremony? Could you find out when in the ceremony he will be honored and be there only for that time?
  3. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    I would talk to his guidance counselor or school psychiatric and see if he can be given his award first. Then sit in the back and get ready to leave if he can't hold it together.

    Congrats on the award.
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Does he have set accommodation/interventions for school assemblies? Can you implement those?

    I know the feeling. Son received the city's honor's this year. We speculated that it was his software teacher that nominated him. I made the mistake of asking the guidance counselor. She thinks it was the sped teacher. Turns out at least 4 sped students were honored. My heart sank. It's not like son did anything outstanding within the scope of his disability. (the award is for outstanding academic achievement) Our kids need positive reinforcement more than others, but even they understand what "pity votes" are. I know I"m being negative. Still working on letting it go.
  5. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    I think the school would be able to accommodate the timing of the award if you ask. Congratulations :)
  6. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    It doesn't sound negative to me. difficult child 2 was given all kinds of academic awards in school, and while we're very proud of how far he's come, believe me, his school work didn't merit the awards he was given. For instance, his high school senior project was supposed to be based on doing something to benefit the members of our town. He asked if he could do his on why monkeys shouldn't be used in movies and the principal said it was an excellent idea. difficult child 2 was perfectly capable of doing something to benefit the people in our town, and husband and I came up with some ideas to help him get started. He refused, "melted," kept saying that his project was going to be on monkeys, end of story. I could go on and on and on but, I don't want to hog your thread!

    I like svengandhi's idea about seeing if he can be the first to receive his award or Lavender's idea about just attending the part of the ceremony where he'll receive it. I'm hoping the award is for something wonderful your difficult child did, but, at the very least, I think it's good he'll be made to feel special by receiving an award. Congratulations to your difficult child! SFR
  7. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I third the idea of finding out the timing and speaking to the guidance counselor ahead of time. They should already be aware and be able to work with you in some manner with the situation. If not, you always have the ability to take him to the back or take him out when you need to. been there done that in years past. :)
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Will be interesting to see what the award is really for. I hope you can get them to accommodate his need to get it sooner and be able to leave. congrats to him, and I get how it is kind of a mixed bag. Q has never won any award or been given anything from a school. Some teachers have given him little notes to say he did a good job that day or whatever but he has not once gotten school wise praise even when he was doing well. I can't even imagine it.
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks everyone. I will try to see if I can find out the timing of the award. It actually isn't at school even though teachers do the nominating. It's a community thing so there probably aren't any accommodations but I will try to check into it. The letter didn't leave a phone number!