The measure of a real man

[mstang67chic]

Star's recent post on PE had me thinking about what it is that makes a real man. Dude seems to be having some confusion about it and while I put a few things down in that thread, I thought we could all contribute here. It can be used for Dude, Cory or whoever needs it, easy child or difficult child. Below is what I typed in Star's thread. Please, feel free to add what you think makes a real man and share this thread with anyone in your life who may need it.



A real man steps up and takes care of things. A real man raises a kid as his own even without contributing genetic goo. A real man treats his family with respect and doesn't hit them, cheat them, betray them or sell them.

Being a man isn't how many women you can control or knock up, it isn't how big you look to others, it isn't the length of your rap sheet (or other things), it isn't how many girls you have in your stable.

A REAL man is someone who does what's right, takes care of what's his (bio or not), respects himself and others, doesn't blame others for his mistakes, will work to get himself out of a hole and do what he can to keep from finding himself in the hole again.

A REAL man realizes respect is earned and not demanded and acts accordingly.

A REAL man understands that sometimes love and want aren't enough. You can love someone all you want but if they aren't deserving of it or don't return it, sometimes you have to walk away.

A REAL man will understand and accept, no matter how difficult it is, that sometimes rejection has nothing to do with yourself and everything to do with the person doing the rejecting.

A REAL man isn't afraid to ask for help.

 

[Hound dog]

Wow, Stang. Awesome list. I can't think of anything else to add at this point. I'll read it over again once I've got some coffee in me.

 

[DammitJanet]

Stang...that is so good.

Ya know, there was a time years ago when I wanted Tony to beat the living tar out of someone that was a real jerk. I mean a total jerk. Right now I cant even remember what the guy was doing to us that made me want him to fight the guy over but I so badly wanted him to fight him. I knew Tony could have made mincemeat out of the guy. Tony isnt a small man now and back then Tony was even leaner and had huge arms because he worked in a part of construction where he swung a 22 ounce concrete hammer all day. His arms were like body builders!

But Tony wouldnt do it. I called him weak. I told him he wasnt being a man.

He told me that wasnt it, he just knew it wasnt worth getting into trouble over something that we wouldnt even remember twenty years from now. He was right. That jerk is probably still a jerk. Tony knew that being a man was walking away stupid people. He didnt have to prove anything to that jerk.

 

[Shari]

Thank you Stang. You just written what I've been trying to say myself....

 

[AnnieO]

A real man steps up and takes care of things. A real man raises a kid as his own even without contributing genetic goo. A real man treats his family with respect and doesn't hit them, cheat them, betray them or sell them.

A REAL man is someone who does what's right, takes care of what's his (bio or not), respects himself and others, doesn't blame others for his mistakes, will work to get himself out of a hole and do what he can to keep from finding himself in the hole again.

A REAL man realizes respect is earned and not demanded and acts accordingly.

A REAL man understands that sometimes love and want aren't enough. You can love someone all you want but if they aren't deserving of it or don't return it, sometimes you have to walk away.

A REAL man will understand and accept, no matter how difficult it is, that sometimes rejection has nothing to do with yourself and everything to do with the person doing the rejecting.

A REAL man isn't afraid to ask for help.

Sounds like you've been listening to me lately... LOL Yeah you're absolutely right. And I can'd add anything, either.

 

[DaisyFace]

A REAL man isn't afraid to ask for help.

or directions....




Sorry, I couldn't resist. Excellent post!!

--DaisyFace

 

[timer lady]

A real woman can recognize a real man miles away. Support that man thru the toughest times of his life.

A real man will do dishes when a real woman is exhausted beyond belief; a real woman will find that sight to be the sexiest & most loving thing a man can do for her.

A real man will continue on even if the situation seems hopeless; a real woman will not criticize that man while he's doing it because he is doing something rather than nothing.

I have to say this is a very emotional thread for me - in so many ways my husband was a "real" man, no matter how you define it.

 

[Star*]

A real man - tells you the sexiest thing about you is your brain.

A real man - tells you he'll do anything for you BUT buy feminine hygiene and then goes to the store and buys you every kind there is because he had no idea what kind you used, then says he's not returning the rest of them, but feel free to donate them to the womens shelter.

A real man hobbles down the rifle range with a sharpie marker and draws a thick bushy moustache on your torso outline so you really get an idea where the eyes would be without you even telling him what you were thinking during target practice. (okay maybe that was ME wishing.....okay that was ME DOING it)

 

[Fran]

I don't believe a man is someone who dominates his wife and children to the point of submissiveness or humiliation.
I don't believe a man who raises his voice to threaten someone smaller is a man but a bully.
I don't believe beatings mean you are a man. They mean you have ugly insides that want to hurt those who are vulnerable.
I don't believe a man thinks that he earns a paycheck and the family should subjegate themselves to him. (although I do believe there should be respect for anyone who does honest work)

I like to think of a spouse as the other part of puzzle piece. He is strong where I am weak and vice versa. A real man knows to ask advice means he is strong not weak.(and smart)

A man knows when he is wrong and can apologize then make it right.
A real woman knows when she is wrong and can apologize then make it right. Equal value- different roles but equal.

 

[KTMom91]

A real man takes care of his family, whether that family is through blood, marriage, or choice.

A real man shows his wife that he loves and cherishes her.

 

[crazymama30]

Wow.

 

[Star*]

My favorite is Frans piece of the puzzle. Brilliant.

It's really the beginning of a Hallmark card here......Sweethearts Day Archive I think.

Good on ya Stang and ALL OF YOU.

You know......(looks up and thinks)

This would be a really REALLY good thing, nice thing, just left field thing.....for all of us to do for our husbands or S/O's, DF's....to write down a lot of these things that we feel about our men and just leave it in an envelope for them. Sort of an unexpected thank you. Who wouldn't enjoy being thanked for living with a difficult child and the women who get frustrated parenting them?

I'm taking notes and composing....I'm not going to wait for a holiday. I think DF can use this NOW.

 

[ScentofCedar]

This is beautiful, guys.

Barbara