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Substance Abuse
The "Monkey Trap"....
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 35318" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SunnyFlorida</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Ultimately, doesn't it come down to choice? If all the guidance in the world is given and the person still continues to make the same choices....it's only until the pain/trap becomes unbearable that a different path is taken. ie "crisis creates change"</div></div></p><p></p><p>Spot on, but this also embodies my thought when I tell my son "sometimes, you don't get a do-over for something you do".</p><p></p><p>I think choice involves thought - a balance of risk for reward, with a dash of ethics occasionally thrown in. For the monkey, the reward is food, and the risk is letting go of it and another monkey gets it. The <strong>real</strong> risk, though, is holding on to the food until someone comes along with a club and makes him dinner. </p><p></p><p>But the monkey's never been bashed in the head, so he doesn't weigh that particular risk. And there's no do-over to being the main entree, so he never gets the chance to learn from his mistake and make a better choice the next time.</p><p></p><p>Same with our kids. I think they <em>do</em> sometimes weigh risks and rewards to make choices. It's just that they don't truly understand all the risks (jail, death, financial ruin, destruction of relationships, etc..), and they over-value the rewards (is street-racing, getting high, or stealing something an actual reward?). So even when they try and think through a choice before they make it, they're using a skewed perspective, resulting in poor choices.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes, you can use guidance to help change those perspectives, which leads to better choices. Sometimes, only crisis will cause change. Hopefully, the crisis is not so drastic that the kid doesn't get another chance to use the bad experience/outcome to make a better choice later; i.e., getting a "do-over".</p><p></p><p>I guess you have to go with your heart, use your head, and do what works (read that somewhere else here, but it fits).</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 35318, member: 3579"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SunnyFlorida</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Ultimately, doesn't it come down to choice? If all the guidance in the world is given and the person still continues to make the same choices....it's only until the pain/trap becomes unbearable that a different path is taken. ie "crisis creates change"</div></div> Spot on, but this also embodies my thought when I tell my son "sometimes, you don't get a do-over for something you do". I think choice involves thought - a balance of risk for reward, with a dash of ethics occasionally thrown in. For the monkey, the reward is food, and the risk is letting go of it and another monkey gets it. The [b]real[/b] risk, though, is holding on to the food until someone comes along with a club and makes him dinner. But the monkey's never been bashed in the head, so he doesn't weigh that particular risk. And there's no do-over to being the main entree, so he never gets the chance to learn from his mistake and make a better choice the next time. Same with our kids. I think they [i]do[/i] sometimes weigh risks and rewards to make choices. It's just that they don't truly understand all the risks (jail, death, financial ruin, destruction of relationships, etc..), and they over-value the rewards (is street-racing, getting high, or stealing something an actual reward?). So even when they try and think through a choice before they make it, they're using a skewed perspective, resulting in poor choices. Sometimes, you can use guidance to help change those perspectives, which leads to better choices. Sometimes, only crisis will cause change. Hopefully, the crisis is not so drastic that the kid doesn't get another chance to use the bad experience/outcome to make a better choice later; i.e., getting a "do-over". I guess you have to go with your heart, use your head, and do what works (read that somewhere else here, but it fits). Mikey [/QUOTE]
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