The party's oooooverrrr...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TerryJ2, May 17, 2010.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    P turned 82 Saturday, but you didn't hear that from me. A real lady never reveals her age. So we called it "P-- Day." The plan was for easy child to take her shopping and to lunch, then have a little dinner party at my house.
    P fell again on Friday. The nurses called and said they found her on her bottom in front of the bathroom, and she hurt her shoulder. The x-ray tech did an x-ray and nothing was broken (more on this in another thread). P seemed upset but not in too much pain as long as she didn't move much.

    easy child drove to pick her up Sat and P wouldn't get out of bed. She was having a bad day, and when she saw easy child in her cute little workout clothes, P thought she looked like a tennis player and said she could teach her to play, but she couldn't because she was in pain and old and she wished she were younger, and she started to cry. Then she said she missed R, her husband, who died 3 yrs ago. So easy child left her and said I would stop by later with-gifts and P said okay.

    I stopped by an hr later and P was doing slightly better but still didn't want to come over for dinner.

    I'd already planned a party, so I went ahead with-my plans, everyone had fun, and after dinner, we packed everything in the cars and made a tiny caravan to visit P. We had to go in the back door because the front door is locked at 8 p.m. We brought gifts, cake, and ice cream. Oh, and champagne and glasses.

    We had great fun, but P had already gotten her nighttime medications and was conked out. She sat in a chair and did her best to participate. She loved all the attention and it was most unfortunate she was so drugged out. But everyone did a great job.
    She had two sips of champagne and said she didn't want anymore because she was too tired.
    I went across the hall and gave 1/2 glass to the lady there. She loves P and no one ever visits her. She's from Germany and still pays her own bills, but is hunched over with-arthritis and non-ambulatory.

    I knew I'd catch h*ll for it but didn't know it would come back to bite me quite the way it did.

    Yestedray, while I was visiting P, she had to go to the restroom. I helped her in, and on the way back to bed, she had major league diarrhea all over the floor. She was so embarrassed. So I told her not to move, and I got a nurse, who got an assistant, who cleaned it up, and I stripped down P and put her clothes in a bag (I do the home laundry). Poor thing.

    Around 7:15 this a.m., I got a call from a nurse named Linda, who told me P had fallen again on her way to the rest room. Aaaaaaaarrrgghhh! P just can't wait ... or maybe she can't feel it all properly, but she just gets up and tries to go.
    P bruised her knees and butt.

    I said P is always up and trying to go all of the time, every 5 min, and she has urinary and bowel issues. I suggested that milk could be the problem, and that the stool softeners should be stopped.

    Linda said, "Yes, I know she's had fecal material on the bed."

    "Yes, I'm not talking about that. She had a major league accident yesterday."

    "Alcohol can cause that."
    And she prepared to hang up.

    "Whoah, whoah, whoah. Ma'am? Hello? Ma'am?"

    "What?" (Nasty tone of voice.)

    "She had two sips of champagne. That's not going to do it. This is an ongoing problem."

    "Fine." Click.

    I high-tailed it over there but the night nurse checked out at 8 and I dropped difficult child off at school at 7:50 and didn't get there in time. However, the head nurse was there and I spoke with-her about it.
    She wrote down the nurse's name and said she'd take care of it.
    She also told me that alcohol requires a dr's order.

    I told her I'd keep that in mind for New Year's Eve. :angry-very:
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Ask for a bedside commode until P is better able to manuever.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im surprised they havent suggested that before now. I actually came home with one of those. I dont need it anymore but I have used it for stability to get in and out of the bathtub. It can tip but it is really quite stable.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    She had one for oh, one day. It was very unstable. Very wobbly.
    We met with-a therapist (outside, independently) today and she said we have to be much more aggressive with-P's rehab or there's no point in having her even think about living independently semi-independently. I had called the therapist the other day and asked for her to advocate, partly because the owner of the apt bldg is bugging me to get P out, and the dr did a great job. Very in-your-face, but diplomatically. She did a nice job of telling P that there's a difference between doing something, and just hoping to do something because you want it.
    Whew. I am ready to move P to a new place, but of course, after having read the therapist's notes, the convalescent home dr came into her room around 5:45 and talked to P for a long time about the therapist's notes. He's changing her medications, referring her out to an orthopedist, and hopefully, we will get an order for physical therapy.

    Meanwhile, we stopped by to give the lady across the hall so me chocolate and a newspaper, and she showed us her foot, which is totally black and blue, top and bottom. She said the nurses pulled her to a standing position to weigh her and she fell off the scale. She's a pretty big lady and it really wrecked her foot. She said they know she cannot walk or stand on her own, and doesn't know why they couldn't have weighed her another way.
    She said she asked for a week to see the dr and she finally showed, and she was totally shocked at the condition of the foot because she had merely been told that it was sore. The woman also said that no one iced it, and one of the nurses told her flat-out that icing is an old fairytale idea.

  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    This home is dangerous. Leaving the other woman in that condition was done simply because she has no advocate. Telling her that icing is an old fairytale is a lie told to get them out of work. I have to fight the pain doctor, PT, reg doctor, etc... to make them NOT order ice. It sends me into muscle spasms that take months to get rid of. It always shocks them if I let them try it. Ice is still VERY much used, as I am sure you and your husband know all to well.

    This home will not follow through with the doctor's orders. A new home may have better docs with the same or better orders. You cannot be with P all the time. She is at the mercy of these people. If you leave her there the nurses will ignore her because the door is shut, they will continue to neglect her bathroom needs and common sense needs for anything.

    There will be a doctor in the new home and the therapist can advocate for her there also.

    This home is dangerous.

    on the other hand, you can find the board of directors and make complaints until they change things. It could be a long and frustrating journey but would benefit all the residents.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Is it possible to hire a private duty nurse to stay with P for a few days? The nurse could monitor what is going on and how the staff responds. The nurse could give you an idea of whether this home is as neglectful, lacking in common sense and outright dangerous as it seems. She could also tell you what to watch out for in other homes.

    Just a thought.