The party's oooovvveerrr, lalala --oh-oo-oo

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Aug 3, 2010.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    You all knew I'd post this note. It was just a matter of when.

    I finally realized that difficult child has not been recovering from eating wheat at camp because husband told easy child should could buy her own food and keep it in her room. She is really an airhead and difficult child has been eating her Cheerios and other foods all weekend. So he's been walking around like a zombie, splotched skin, bloodshot eyes, all wk.

    Yesterday he played with-the PS2 on the TV (I had a new cord made) and then lied and told me had read his assigned summer reading, and I was so busy with-the handyman, etc. I didn't pay much attention. I let him have 1 hr on easy child's computer, and then when it was time for him to get off, he balked.
    I gave him 1/2 hr. Then 10.
    I finally said, "Dad's home, time for dinner."
    difficult child went straight to the LR and played his PS2. What about dinner?
    He's wearing boxer shorts and his usual black blanket aka Darth Vader outfit every day now. I told him to put on a shirt. He said no. He went into the DR with-his blanket (it's the size of a dbl bed so it knocks things over) and I backtracked him and went to unplug the TV cord. He zoomed back in and blocked my way. I told him that if he blocked me or made a move, I'd knock him into orbit. husband came up behind him and told him to put on a shirt and come to dinner.
    Let's see how many filthy swear words we can come up with, shall we? B... F ... you get the idea.
    It ramped up and difficult child went to his room. He trashed it ... I could hear things slamming overhead. Such pleasant background accompaniment for dinner. :mad:

    (He refused to eat what we were eating so I heated up Beanie Weenies and just let it sit out.)
    I saw him get the bowl around 9:45 and bring it to his room.

    This a.m., he started in about the TV cord. I said, "No electronics today after your behavior yesterday."
    "It was your fault!"
    Here we go again.

    I told him there was no discussion.
    I left to get the dogs from outside.

    He started again. I left the room.

    15 min later, I called him to meet me in the car to go to math tutoring.

    He showed up, sat down in silence, and I thought I'd try a normal conversation about the storms we've had lately. Fine.
    Normal, normal, normal.
    Like nothing ever happened.

    Go figure.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Honeymoons never last. Don't you just HATE that? Sorry he is so fixated on electronic screens.

    It sounds like easy child needs to keep her food either in a locked safe (file cabinets can have hasps put on them with padlocks) or at a friend's house. Maybe husband should keep his at work and not take difficult child there.

    The determination and resourcefulness of a difficult child who wants something that is not allowed is amazing, isn't it? I have a VERY difficult child cousin who did all he could to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. A few years ago he finally enrolled in college. I told him that if he had put all the effort into school that he put into doing the wrong things he would have had a Ph.D by age 22. He laughed. and then agreed.

    I think the same could be said of many of our difficult children!
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    That's for sure!

    I hope difficult child is better tonight. We're going to try getting him to sit at the dinner table with-us. I can hardly wait. (Not!)
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope tonight is a better one too! Those nights are just exhausting!
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I know you don't want to penalise others in the family for difficult child's lack of impulse control, but the conditions are laid down - if you have your own stash, keep it secure. The punishment (actually, natural consequences) for failing to keep their stash secure is - no stash allowed!

    It won't do the others any harm to go without gluten. Of course difficult child has to learn self-control, but there are many adults around who do not have self-control, so we can't be too critical. Besides, kids like to test the boundaries and especially difficult child kids who resent restrictions that are necessary due to their health. I remember difficult child 1 testing our "no caffeine" rule, and causing all sorts of problems. The trouble is, when the difficult child is ramped up on forbidden toxins, they are far less capable of self-control. We need to step in and take over, control their environment for them.

    I used to find that when the difficult child was back to normal diet, we could talk reason with him. But it was a waste of time while he was hopped up on caffeine. We just had to sit out the raging and clean up any secret stash of ANYBODY.

    easy child & husband are just going to have to have some self-discipline of their own.

  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    easy child & husband are just going to have to have some self-discipline of their own.

    You got that right!!!!
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    Adding my support, Terry. Crazy and out of control: the new normal. I'm along side of ya.
  8. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    Hi Terry,

    You did good enforcing the electronics restrictions even though you knew you would get a mouthful of garbage and the surreal nightmare of a room being trashed during dinner. That takes real courage and stamina, BDTD. Get some extra rest. It's exhausting and they don't seem to get it at the time, but I think it's worth it if it's repeated over and over. As for the "it's your fault" retort, I think I've heard it so many times I'm almost to blissful detachment from it -- but not quite. Arrgh!

    Was this episode from the gluten sensitivity then? I've thought of gluten-free for both my boys and I don't think it would hurt my husband either. I haven't had the guts but I'm thinking about implementing it before 17 gets home from residential -- hoping no one will notice because we'll be focusing on his transition home.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    It's a combination of gluten allergy and video/computer games. I think he caught up on his sleep over the weekend, but I'm not sure. One morning, husband saw difficult child at 5:30 a.m., getting a bowl of cereal and going back to bed.
    So the more I think about it, the more I think it's 3 things.