The Plan

[klmno]

Ok, it's still under construction but it's a goal at least. I'm selling stuff to pay utility bills that are due right now. This seemed most critical because I have to have power and the computer and phone in order to better look for a job. Assuming I can sell enough to catch up on utility bills next week, then I can breathe a little easier and get thru three important meetings/dr appointment next week and mull over what area to "bombard" with applications for work. I can also call and try to get more info about some of the suggestions listed in my previous thread. This will get me thru the next few weeks before difficult child is released from detention and I have to move out. That will also give me a little time to figure out if I can take the dogs or need to find them another home, even if that other home is only temporary and maybe I can get the dogs back. If I can get applications out next week and the following week, I can tell them I could start work in less than a month, I think. Maybe I can sell more then to pay for moving. I am dead set against staying in this jurisdiction- it would be too depressing for me after losing everything and still being stuck with difficult child in the same courts system. I just don't think I could take it mentally. If I could have stayed in my career, I could have stayed and probably even kept my home, maybe. But with all of it, I want to leave and never come back and it really might be the best thing for difficult child, too.

I have a call into PO now to find out what parole requirements difficult child will have when he's released. If there's anything in there that throws a wrench in "my plan", I need to know ASAP. That's another thing I find frustrating about this whole court issue- they want everything revolved around them but they don't really lead and tell you up front what you are dealing with. IOW, they tell me to go ahead and make my plans, get a job, etc., THEN tell me difficult child will have to do A, B, C and I have to do D. Well, I need to know that stuff before I commit to other things, not after. Ok, moving on.....

 

[JJJ]

K- Sounds like a good plan, except I wouldn't call the court. You need a job, you cannot find one in their jurisdiction. Find a job wherever you can. When difficult child is about to be released, tell them that due to your employment situation, you now live in XXX city and need difficult children probation transferred to that jurisdiction. Act like this is something they will, of course, do for you (but wait until you have started the job and moved).

 

[AnnieO]

<=== What JJJ said. Honestly. And it sounds like you've really thought this out, and looks to me like it is very workable!

 

[klmno]

Oh...I'd already asked PO before what the process would be if difficult child moved with me to a different jurisdiction and he'd told me this would be no problem. Maybe it's no problem since difficult child isn't coming out of state Department of Juvenile Justice custody this time, just local detention. Anyway, I was just on the phone with him and asked about difficult child's parole requirements and told him we would be moving around late August probably. He said we had to meet this month anyway so come in late July and fill him in more at that point about any plans made over the next few weeks. He said he didn't really think difficult child had committed to trying to change yet but he's going to go talk to him next week. He has to check with the judge about something that was previously ordered- community service- to see if he still wants that. Any of these things would just be transferred to where we end up. I was trying to get an iddea what might come from that mental health evaluation done on me too. PO said the judge would not call a hearing just over that so not worry about it unless (until) difficult child has to go to court again.

 

[DammitJanet]

About the dogs....tell me what kind they are and if you really think you just want them in foster care. I could probably try to help in that area. Are they good with small children?

 

[klmno]

They are good with children- ok the female always was great with difficult child and he was about 5yo when we got her. The male is more laid back than her and is not aggressive at all but will growl if he's disturbed (someone tries to move him) while he's taking a nap. Neither of them have had extensive time with chilren younger than 4-5yo but I think they would be ok if they are not teased and so forth. I would prefer to keep them with me if possible but the second choice is a temporary placement unless I thought it would be as long as a year before I could ever get them back. I still might be able to take them back under that situation but would work with whomever had them to be fair with all parties involved.

I had to go to a class at the VA medication center last week about their system and services- they require it before seeing a dr there and I have a dr appointment there next week (TG). I learned that I will be able to see a SW there who will be able to help steer me in a direction regarding lack of home and employment services. Also, the have a homeless "shelter" for vets there where they give you a job at the center as long as you stay there, up to 2 years, and they take part of your pay and give you part. Then, after you have worked thru this program, you move out and they give you the money they took for you to use as depositis, rent the first mo, etc, in order to get you back on your feet. Also, she said usually the person was allowed to keep the job they were given at the VA if they wanted to. This sounds like a great program if I can't find a job within the next few weeks. However, I need to look into it and see what happens if the person has a minor child. In order to be in this program, you have to live there and I didn't get the impression that dependents could live there with you. Maybe I could get a job there anyway and live someplace else with difficult child. I need to check into all this next week but at least it gives me some avenue to get help and maybe even a job.

\She was talking about all these vets- old and young- that are currently unemployed and facing homelessness and they really are trying to help them so they aren't on the streets but help them in a way so it's not a continuous hand-out but gets them back on their own and independent.