The "Princess" ~

[Im a Believer]

I have a 4 year old in my childcare that I have watched since she was 6 weeks old ~

She has always been a handful - but I chalked that up to her parents. Her dad is almost 50 and this is his first child, the mother 40 something but this is her second marriage and her other child from previous marriage is older so this is like her first child.

Needless to say - this child is the PRINCESS ~

She has always been defiant for her parents when they dropped off- picked up.

She has always obeyed me but the past few months she is getting more and more difiant with me and a few weeks ago at rest time she had a BM in her pants and then threw it all over the place.

When she is told to do something she makes faces at me and smartly says NO!

She is hitting the other children and is constantly in time out ~ by the way - A joke-but she is not my child so I can not appropraitely discipline ~

I have talked with the parents and requested they pay for my carpet to be cleaned that had been attackedby her feces ~ Which they did.

They make excuse after excuse for her - "she is tired ~ she is this - she is that - she is so sorry for her behaviour" ~ But, nothing changes.

It would be easy to just give this family notice to leave my childcare -but, I really care about this little girl - as I said I have had her since she was born ~

Any opinions on what is wrong ~

Thanks ~

 

[BusynMember]

We can't guess, but you may wan to to suggest her parents take her for a neuropsychologist evaluation. Chances are they realize this child isn't "right" and they could be working on it more than you know. In order for us to even venture an uneducated guess we'd need to know things like her famlies psychiatric history on both sides and her early development, things you likely don't know. I wouldn't be so fast to blame the parents. Read some of the posts here. We have done all we could and sometimes we have kids who baffle even the highest professionals.

 

[Andy]

One thing I loved about difficult child's daycare provider was that she took notice of all health issues. She was the one to mention to me that difficult child may have a speech problem. As mom, I really did not know what was normal and what was not (easy child was so far ahead in the speech area at that age I really couldn't use her to compare speech).

An awesome daycare provider goes beyond the providing of food and safety for the day and really do look after the developmental progress of the child. Since you work with kids, you have a larger knowledge of behavioral development. You may feel something is not right before the parents do (I didn't have a clue that 18 month kids could talk clearer and better than my 24 month old - and at that age, it was a large difference).

You can sit down with the parents and share your concerns. Let the parents know that this behavior is not normal and is getting worse. I would tell them that the BM issue is not common for kids to do, however, I do believe it is common in some diagnosis. Maybe make a list of concerns and help the parents add to it. It will give them something to take to the doctor. The more examples they have the better.

I think these parents will appreciate your insight and know that you really do care about the kids in your day care.