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Parent Emeritus
the role of money are our estrangements and/or difficult adult children
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 694975" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Well, my mother had money. It never phased me. I was not money motivated. When she hurt me, my mother, I hightailed away. My sister was always there for whatever she could get. It was conditional for her, the relationship. My mother never realized it until the end, when my sister dropped her like a hot potato as she died, because what was the point of even seeing her or talking to her or even saying goodbye--the money would all come to her anyway from the will?</p><p>Well, M was very successful in Mx. He did everything for his family. He ended up feeling used. Like his kids only loved him for what he gave them. He built or bought houses for the 4 or 5 older children. When he left, the younger kids said--where is my house? You owe me. OK. If you don't want to get me the house, you can give me the money instead.</p><p></p><p>What a joke. Then there was no money. The wife had spent it all, except a 23 room house which M let her have. He has nothing. She drained the bank accounts. She sold his business and the warehouse where it was located. All of it gone.</p><p></p><p>Even when he first came to this country undocumented he was still sending all of his money to Mexico and the wife told the kids he did not send anything. His sisters (here in USA) many times sent the money for him. There are receipts. But still the wife told the kids their Dad sent nothing to her. Half of his kids reject him.</p><p></p><p>We are trying now to help the kids when they need it. We just sent $600 to help pay for the operation a little grandson needs. I expect nothing. We send it because it is the right thing to do. I do it for M. And I guess for his kids who I do not know, and I would guess, have little love for me.</p><p></p><p>So in my experience it is a mixed bag. Money and kids. My mother's money made no difference to me. My son cares not at all about any money I might have. To my sister and many of M's children it was everything.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 694975, member: 18958"] Well, my mother had money. It never phased me. I was not money motivated. When she hurt me, my mother, I hightailed away. My sister was always there for whatever she could get. It was conditional for her, the relationship. My mother never realized it until the end, when my sister dropped her like a hot potato as she died, because what was the point of even seeing her or talking to her or even saying goodbye--the money would all come to her anyway from the will? Well, M was very successful in Mx. He did everything for his family. He ended up feeling used. Like his kids only loved him for what he gave them. He built or bought houses for the 4 or 5 older children. When he left, the younger kids said--where is my house? You owe me. OK. If you don't want to get me the house, you can give me the money instead. What a joke. Then there was no money. The wife had spent it all, except a 23 room house which M let her have. He has nothing. She drained the bank accounts. She sold his business and the warehouse where it was located. All of it gone. Even when he first came to this country undocumented he was still sending all of his money to Mexico and the wife told the kids he did not send anything. His sisters (here in USA) many times sent the money for him. There are receipts. But still the wife told the kids their Dad sent nothing to her. Half of his kids reject him. We are trying now to help the kids when they need it. We just sent $600 to help pay for the operation a little grandson needs. I expect nothing. We send it because it is the right thing to do. I do it for M. And I guess for his kids who I do not know, and I would guess, have little love for me. So in my experience it is a mixed bag. Money and kids. My mother's money made no difference to me. My son cares not at all about any money I might have. To my sister and many of M's children it was everything. [/QUOTE]
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