The Roller Coaster of Miss KT

[KTMom91]

Since the nanny job fell through, Miss KT is back on her "hate it here, tired of everyone, want to get out of this town" kick. She's been searching online for colleges that might take her with her solid C average, and asking for info. She's been hyper-focused on a college in Illinois, because "It would be so COOL to live in Illinois," although she's never been there. Working on Suz's bobblehead here.

Today she got info from a college here in CA. She liked what she read, called them, got all excited, and sailed out the door to have her high school transcripts sent, and to get a letter of recommendation from our pastor. I guess she's going away to college in the fall.

This child makes me tired. Give it a few days, and she'll be off on some other tangent.

 

[PonyGirl]

Oh, Yeah, Illinois is cool.........so cool....(NOT! I'm a die-hard Wisconsin Native!!!)

GO Illini!! (Say what! What the heck's an Illini?? - Gimme the Badgers any day!!)

Don't feel too bad, I've got one 7 years older than MissKT, also dreaming of college
Sigh. I'm tired, too.

Peace

 

[CrazyinVA]

Ugh, I hear you. If nothing else, the rapid change of ideas/plans with my difficult children, has made me panic less when they come to me with some outrageous "plan," because I know that within 24 hours, the plan is likely to change

 

[busywend]

I hope she surprises you! Meantime, it is just another day in the life of a difficult child warrior mom! Take it with a grain of salt.

 

[Nomad]

I really like your attitude...the bobble head thing is soooo good!
Let it go in one ear and out the other.
Perhaps some day she will be able to think things through and then follow up her good thoughts with appropriate actions.is a
by the way, what is she genuinely very good at...that she also enjoys? As appropriate, you might gently remind her of this and it might get her to thinking about incorporating this into a career. However, I would NOT put much energy into these things. This is the PE forum...time to limit our involvement. Time for our adult children to figure stuff out on their own and time for us to catch a break.

 

[KTMom91]

She has decided that we need to drive up and see this college. Since it's close enough to be a day trip, and I'll get to go to the beach, I'm fine with this little journey. We're going next Friday.

 

[GoingNorth]

I'm a former Illinois resident. Born and raised in Chicago no less. I'm also more than willing to tell your difficult child WHY living in IL, especially Chicago, is NOT cool.

 

[Star*]

Whenever your adult kids do this - "chow chow chow" walk? Allow yourself to think like a difficult child and THEN respond......

I want to drive to Illinois to see this college I may or may NOT go to. (you in the back of your mind know/suspect there is an alterior motive for driving ALL THAT WAY - JUST to see??? A college?")
So you respond in your mind - "WHAT IS IN IT FOR ME?"
Then think - what could you do why she is doing the chow chow chow dance.....
(Shop? Sightsee? Take in a show? Get a mani-pedi and a brazillian wax?)
If the answer in your mind is a big fat ZERO? Then begin responding with the words "NO....."
Of course your difficult child will fire back - uglieness like "WHY NOT? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? HERE I GO TRYING TO PUT MY LIFE TOGETHER AND YOU WONT HELP."
You fire back (calmly) - "Well because I will be bored and there will be nothing for ME to do. (and it's all about you now), Nothing is wrong with me....I don't want to be bored, or Well sweetie that's just it - it's YOUR life. You need to do what is best for you. I'm here for support if you need me, but I can't see taking an entire day out of MY life - for plans you haven't made solid. You go - have fun....let me know how it turns out."

I swear - I'm happier since learning these things, and applying them to conversations with teenagers. You respond in a manner they are accustomed to - me factor to the nth degree.

 

[KTMom91]

Definitely, Star, I looked at what was in it for me. This college is near Santa Cruz, so I not only get the beach, I get the Boardwalk as well. I can be nice to admin guy for half an hour or so while we tour, then play in the water, have a nice lunch of seafood, do some window shopping on the Boardwalk, maybe ride the carousel and/or the roller coaster, then the three hour drive home.