The school called social services on me

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Adarob, Feb 10, 2012.

  1. Adarob

    Adarob New Member

    I opened the door, in my pajamas to a case worker this morning.
    Apparently they called because I haven't been fast enough in getting her seen and evaluated.
    She was very nice, said it wasn't a big deal, but to ME, a social worker sitting on my couch IS a big deal.

    I feel horrible. I have called places, I've gone in person, I've had her pediatrician send out SEVEN referrals, I'm just wanting on somebody (anybody) to call me back.
    I already feel lower than dirt because the school calls me every day (ironically she had an awesome week at school this week and I was only called 2 times).

    I already cry all the time because I feel like I can't help my daughter, and now social services is involved!!

    I understand they are mandatory reporters, but that doesn't make me fell any less.....betrayed I guess would be the closest word.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member


    Any chance that this person can HELP you get access to services?
    Obviously, this is serious. School is getting desperate - but this SW knows it isn't YOUR fault... its just really tough to find answers.
    Can you leverage this somehow?
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Is there any way that you could use social services to your advantage? If you are unable to get anyone to call you back so that you can get your daughter seen, maybe they will be able to expedite the process and find someone who has an opening for her.

    Take a deep breath. You're are doing everything that you can for her. Unfortunately, it just seems to take alot longer than we hope it would.
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    I'm not familiar with the situation, but I can say from personal experience... Yeah, I understand. Too well.

    Yes, it IS a big deal - however, the case worker can be an asset, if you look at it from a different angle. Social Services can help with getting... HELP!

    Something it took me a while to learn... I can't help my daughter as much as I want to, because I'm just not trained. I don't have the right tools in my box. It's like asking a housepainter to hang drywall. It's not your fault... You are doing what you can. Just remember that.

  5. Adarob

    Adarob New Member

    She said that they have someone on staff that will be calling me next week to set up an "interview/assessment" with my daughter. It says Clinical SW on the paper she left me, but she didn't clarify who she was and I was honestly too shocked to do anything but answer her questions.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Ok. Warrior Mom training time! <SMILE>

    Start compiling your notes. Look up the thing we call a "parent report" on the Site Help and Resources forum (I don't remember the exact name...) OR... look for a post by Susiestar... the link is in her signature.
    This is a format for collecting every bit of information you have about your child. It will grow as you get evaluations etc. But... gather up what you have. Report cards with comments, Emails from teachers. Every scrap of paper.
    And then sit down and write up your own notes - what you remember from her as a baby, at 1, at 2, starting school, etc.

    This will be useful for the upcoming meeting... And for every single evaluation you go into... AND for IEPs when you get that far...

    Come back often. Pester us as much as you want. We love to try to help other Moms work through the system...
  7. jal

    jal Member

    You can use this to your advantage. A few years ago after my difficult child was hospitalized I was told to contact our Department of Children & Family VOLUNTARY Services. It's a part of DCF that you contact voluntarily. It opened up doors to many services. We got in-home services 2X's a week, had access to respite (we didn't use it) and they even helped send him to summer camp. It was a wonderful experience for us, the people were great and difficult child benefitted from it. Even though husband and I had turned over many stones and tried many things on this journey, this did help and became another avenue for us. We no longer receive services from them, because difficult child is/has been stable for a couple of years.
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    jai is so right... and more than one of us (me too) have had that call or visit so you are in good company and I do mean GOOD because we are a group of parents who have to put so much into our kids (often with far less reward than most parents) and we just keep on....

    Our county services have a separate division for case management to help find services and supply such things and I have had my son in that since he was two. I know a woman in our city who went the route jai said though and she went to cps and asked for voluntary support and got quite a lot.... a monthly grant and services for her daughter... her school called on her repeatedly because her kid was afraid to go anywhere there were men (had been this way since an infant due to autism...not a sexual abuse issue) and as she got bigger there was no FORCING her on a bus since she was a fighter.

    I got called on because my son who can be very aggressive said I scratched him and he had tiny scratches on his hand... never mind I was bruised head to toe with scars all over my hands from his scratches! They dropped it right away. It does make you feel like doo doo though.

    Use this for all it is worth. Do what IC said and gather your data and call your doctor and say THIS is an emergency.... Tell him to use connections and make calls himself/herself..... if this person does not have such connections, then you might want a new doctor???


    oh, I forgot.... why is it the schools are not doing their OWN evaluation??? Did you request one??? I am so sorry I do not remember if she is in Special Education.
  9. Adarob

    Adarob New Member

    The last meeting I had was with her teacher, the principal, the guidance counselor, the Easy Child teacher and the school districts psychologist.
    We modified her IEP and the Easy Child and psychiatric said they would observe her and we would have another meeting in FOUR TO EIGHT weeks.

    I don't know why they haven't evaluated her at the school. You'd think that would've happened months ago when all this started. I really feel like this school is just shuffling her along.
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    While technically, evaluations can be requested either by parent or by school, I believe in practice schools don't initiate - they wait for you to formally demand an evaluation. Probably a funding-control issue... they won't volunteer to spend the money unless law dictates they have to - and if YOU request it by the proper means (get help from the board on that part), they HAVE to do it and be done in a certain timeframe (in the USA).
  11. Adarob

    Adarob New Member

    Who do I ask? (principal, teacher etc)
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Lets see if we can get you some help - I'm Canadian, and our system is different...
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    First, could you do a favor.... maybe create a signature under settings so we can remember the age, grade, school category of service, etc.... no need to identify can use the term difficult child(gift from god) and maybe types of services being delivered..

    Any other info like medications or whatever you think would help people to follow you....

    Second, if she is on an IEP already then you can request additional evaluations thru the case manager. I would still put it in writing and CC it to the principal and Special Education director/coordinator. I dont remember the issues they are concerned about??? that will help us to help you word it.

    What year was the evaluation done? Is it new? What testing has already been done? If they did testing in the area you are worried about then you can request an independent evaluation which they must pay for.

    (and just an fyi... I have been at this a way long time with Q, I worked in sp ed for a long time and here I am.... still crying when I feel like I can't get him what he needs. it goes with the territory but it should not ... you have us here to listen to you though, I know I am not alone in saying I have been there and can really empathize)
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Everyone here has said what I would have said, so I'm just sending hugs, and strength and clarity to move forward with-the paperwork and take advantage of the situation. When life gives you lemons ...