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The story of my son, hard to write.
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<blockquote data-quote="wisernow" data-source="post: 710484" data-attributes="member: 20373"><p>i am very sorry for the pain you are going through. All I can say from reading through your post is that he doesn't really have any motivation to change. He is being taking care of...however not on your terms but his. It sounds to me like he has major addiction issues...for the x box to dope to paxil to diet coke. My son also had major issues from age of 16 on...and had similar traits however add to that some elements of violence when he would get high. He too is mentally ill. He became the focus of the house and our family turned into a dysfunctional mess. He had to leave and we helped him with accommodation and his basic needs. Stabilized enough to graduate from high school and then university. But the addiction and the mental illness kept piping along until he had a major crash at 26. Was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia and opiate use...the mental illness possibly brought on by the drug use. Currently he is living in a group home and will stay there until he decides to change his life. Many may ask..what about his mental illness? well he has shown through therapy and drugs and healthy living that he can stabilize quite well. That his is choice not mine any longer. Mental illness is NOT an excuse for bad behavior or poor choices. I fear that your son is using this and unfortunately you are buying into it. I know you love him, but it may be time to let him go and face the consequences of his choices. As SWOT says he is not a little boy anymore, he is a man. there is a great article on detachment on this site.....I know it is very hard but do you really want to live like this in a year, two years or ten years from now? What about your health and the rest of your family? I don't mean to sound harsh ....I know what a heartbreak this is. But he will take you down if you let him. Love yourself first. Hugs!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wisernow, post: 710484, member: 20373"] i am very sorry for the pain you are going through. All I can say from reading through your post is that he doesn't really have any motivation to change. He is being taking care of...however not on your terms but his. It sounds to me like he has major addiction issues...for the x box to dope to paxil to diet coke. My son also had major issues from age of 16 on...and had similar traits however add to that some elements of violence when he would get high. He too is mentally ill. He became the focus of the house and our family turned into a dysfunctional mess. He had to leave and we helped him with accommodation and his basic needs. Stabilized enough to graduate from high school and then university. But the addiction and the mental illness kept piping along until he had a major crash at 26. Was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia and opiate use...the mental illness possibly brought on by the drug use. Currently he is living in a group home and will stay there until he decides to change his life. Many may ask..what about his mental illness? well he has shown through therapy and drugs and healthy living that he can stabilize quite well. That his is choice not mine any longer. Mental illness is NOT an excuse for bad behavior or poor choices. I fear that your son is using this and unfortunately you are buying into it. I know you love him, but it may be time to let him go and face the consequences of his choices. As SWOT says he is not a little boy anymore, he is a man. there is a great article on detachment on this site.....I know it is very hard but do you really want to live like this in a year, two years or ten years from now? What about your health and the rest of your family? I don't mean to sound harsh ....I know what a heartbreak this is. But he will take you down if you let him. Love yourself first. Hugs!!!! [/QUOTE]
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