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The things they (literally) leave behind...
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<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 688097" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p>One question is -- do you have room to keep some stuff in a place that will not inconvenience you too much? I did have some space I was willing to give up for a while to keep some of my son’s things.</p><p></p><p>When I asked my son to vacate our home last fall, he left with his stuffed backpack (as usual), but I knew he would never get to moving himself and things out of his room anytime soon. I knew that to get him out , that I would have to be the one to clean out the room and remove his things. ( I would have to do it myself … FOR ME … for my own peace and sanity). I told him I was getting a small storage shed and would set it up in a corner of the back yard and would put some of his things there. He asked if I could get him a space in storage facility and pay the first month and then he would take care of it after that (<em>?? Yeah ! right ! ??</em>). I said “no”, I would put it in the storage shed in the yard, and he could always move it anytime / anywhere he wanted. Well, I thnk I did a good job, put it all in there all neat. And then I never said another word.</p><p></p><p>The first time he came back to it, he said -- Wow! Nice ! I think I can live out of here? (<em>“uh …. Nooooo!”</em>)</p><p></p><p>He periodically came back to get stuff out of the shed until he went to jail this past January. Since then, I've not thought much about the stuff in there. Out of sight / out of mind! I sometimes get a passing concern that the things will eventually not last there forever, since the shed is not climate controlled (we live in a quite warm tropical climate.) But it’s out in a corner of the yard, not in my way.</p><p></p><p>Although in my clean out, I did trash and give away a lot, I did not want to trash it all, since he will likely need some of the things, and I certainly don’t want to lay out more money to be buying new clothes / shoes and all, when he has too much already. I think he is glad I have his things here for him (?) How long this will last, I don’t know. I’ve only had the shed out there 6 months now. If a time comes that I don’t want it, I will re-consider.</p><p></p><p>My “grands” come to stay here every other weekend , and sometimes they will ask to go in <em>“Daddy’s cabin”</em> to see some of his things they remember, or tape up a picture or a card they made. Maybe it helps them to keep their Dad in mind (?), as they haven’t seen him lately.</p><p></p><p>I guess maybe it is free-load storage, but I am willing to do it for now, and I am still hopeful (<em>in some far corner of my heart</em>) that a new day of change may come around, and it will be helpful to have kept some of the clothes and things.</p><p></p><p>However, in your situation, if you don’t have space to store anything, that is another situation altogether. Because if I didn’t have the out-of-the-way space, I wouldn’t want it all in my face everyday / throughout the day to remind me of him and his difficulties. I wanted him totally and completely out of the house. But I had to do a lot of the work myself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 688097, member: 19617"] One question is -- do you have room to keep some stuff in a place that will not inconvenience you too much? I did have some space I was willing to give up for a while to keep some of my son’s things. When I asked my son to vacate our home last fall, he left with his stuffed backpack (as usual), but I knew he would never get to moving himself and things out of his room anytime soon. I knew that to get him out , that I would have to be the one to clean out the room and remove his things. ( I would have to do it myself … FOR ME … for my own peace and sanity). I told him I was getting a small storage shed and would set it up in a corner of the back yard and would put some of his things there. He asked if I could get him a space in storage facility and pay the first month and then he would take care of it after that ([I]?? Yeah ! right ! ??[/I]). I said “no”, I would put it in the storage shed in the yard, and he could always move it anytime / anywhere he wanted. Well, I thnk I did a good job, put it all in there all neat. And then I never said another word. The first time he came back to it, he said -- Wow! Nice ! I think I can live out of here? ([I]“uh …. Nooooo!”[/I]) He periodically came back to get stuff out of the shed until he went to jail this past January. Since then, I've not thought much about the stuff in there. Out of sight / out of mind! I sometimes get a passing concern that the things will eventually not last there forever, since the shed is not climate controlled (we live in a quite warm tropical climate.) But it’s out in a corner of the yard, not in my way. Although in my clean out, I did trash and give away a lot, I did not want to trash it all, since he will likely need some of the things, and I certainly don’t want to lay out more money to be buying new clothes / shoes and all, when he has too much already. I think he is glad I have his things here for him (?) How long this will last, I don’t know. I’ve only had the shed out there 6 months now. If a time comes that I don’t want it, I will re-consider. My “grands” come to stay here every other weekend , and sometimes they will ask to go in [I]“Daddy’s cabin”[/I] to see some of his things they remember, or tape up a picture or a card they made. Maybe it helps them to keep their Dad in mind (?), as they haven’t seen him lately. I guess maybe it is free-load storage, but I am willing to do it for now, and I am still hopeful ([I]in some far corner of my heart[/I]) that a new day of change may come around, and it will be helpful to have kept some of the clothes and things. However, in your situation, if you don’t have space to store anything, that is another situation altogether. Because if I didn’t have the out-of-the-way space, I wouldn’t want it all in my face everyday / throughout the day to remind me of him and his difficulties. I wanted him totally and completely out of the house. But I had to do a lot of the work myself. [/QUOTE]
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