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The things they (literally) leave behind...
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 688276" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Just reading along. It really is sad how our d_c's can just walk away from their belongings. I gave up holding onto things for my son years ago. Like you I held onto a bunch of clothes. The first time when my son got out of jail I told him I had all his clothes. Here I thought he would be grateful, instead he went on about how "those clothes aren't my style anymore" Seriously, when did jeans and t-shirts go out of style??? Then, he wanted me to go out and buy him new clothes that were his style "gangter pants" I call them. I refused.</p><p>The next time he went to jail I did not go the group home (where he was court ordered to be until he got caught stealing again) to collect his clothes. He didn't appreciate my efforts the first time. Well, straight out of the Difficult Child handbook, he berated me for not going to get his stuff and clothes.</p><p>I told him I was not his personal storage unit and that if wanted to keep his "stuff" then he needed to stop getting in trouble.</p><p></p><p>Several years later after husband and I moved to the Midwest, son was finishing up at a half way house and transitioned into an apt. He did get a job (and actually held it for 6 months). He needed everything for his apt. so I went to Goodwill, Big Lots and garage sales and got everything from a toaster to towels. I shipped 4 big boxes of stuff to him. Oh he was so happy! Like I said, he held his job for 6 months but wasn't paying his rent and got evicted. Everything I bought for him was left in the apt. When I told him I spent a lot of money getting that all together for him he told me, "the landlord say's he'll hold it for 30 days so if you want it, come and get it" Sure, I'm going drive 16 hours one way to pick the stuff up.</p><p></p><p>I had a few more episodes over the years (don't get me started on the guitar) but eventually learned that my son as I'm sure with many others do not appreciate or hold the value important of having things in their lives.</p><p></p><p>The only thing I can offer is this, if you have a place you can store her stuff where you don't have to see it then hold onto it but if you don't and it's causing you to be upset then it needs to go.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you Walrus.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 688276, member: 18516"] Just reading along. It really is sad how our d_c's can just walk away from their belongings. I gave up holding onto things for my son years ago. Like you I held onto a bunch of clothes. The first time when my son got out of jail I told him I had all his clothes. Here I thought he would be grateful, instead he went on about how "those clothes aren't my style anymore" Seriously, when did jeans and t-shirts go out of style??? Then, he wanted me to go out and buy him new clothes that were his style "gangter pants" I call them. I refused. The next time he went to jail I did not go the group home (where he was court ordered to be until he got caught stealing again) to collect his clothes. He didn't appreciate my efforts the first time. Well, straight out of the Difficult Child handbook, he berated me for not going to get his stuff and clothes. I told him I was not his personal storage unit and that if wanted to keep his "stuff" then he needed to stop getting in trouble. Several years later after husband and I moved to the Midwest, son was finishing up at a half way house and transitioned into an apt. He did get a job (and actually held it for 6 months). He needed everything for his apt. so I went to Goodwill, Big Lots and garage sales and got everything from a toaster to towels. I shipped 4 big boxes of stuff to him. Oh he was so happy! Like I said, he held his job for 6 months but wasn't paying his rent and got evicted. Everything I bought for him was left in the apt. When I told him I spent a lot of money getting that all together for him he told me, "the landlord say's he'll hold it for 30 days so if you want it, come and get it" Sure, I'm going drive 16 hours one way to pick the stuff up. I had a few more episodes over the years (don't get me started on the guitar) but eventually learned that my son as I'm sure with many others do not appreciate or hold the value important of having things in their lives. The only thing I can offer is this, if you have a place you can store her stuff where you don't have to see it then hold onto it but if you don't and it's causing you to be upset then it needs to go. ((HUGS)) to you Walrus. [/QUOTE]
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