The very first day of begins already!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mstang67chic, Aug 13, 2009.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I think this is difficult child's personal record. I got my first call of the year from the school TODAY. The FIRST day of school!

    This is difficult child's THIRD attempt at graduating. He has a full schedule but ONLY for ONE semester. If he passes his classes, he FINALLY graduates.

    At the end of the school day, I got a call from Mrs. T, difficult child's teacher of record. Seems that difficult child was upset because his schedule was slightly off. Instead of having a full day of 7 classes, he was only down for six. Seventh period has nothing listed on his schedule. true difficult child fashion, he decided that since there was nothing there, he didn't need to be there. Never mind that this can be fixed. Never mind that a seventh period study hall could be beneficial to him. No, he's determined that he WILL leave early every day. Mrs. T did manage to convince him to stay up till about half way through 7th period and then he took off.

    In fact, when he waltzed in the door (coincidently enough, just after the bus came down the street) he said "Guess what Mom? I only have 6 classes this year. I get to leave early!"

    I told him that no, that wasn't the case and I had already spoken with Mrs. T. I said that he HAD to pass ALL of his classes to graduate so he could get a study hall for 7th period and use that to do work or (God forbid) study.

    Nope. Not at all acceptable. He has declared that if he doesn't have homework, he is NOT staying.

    I'm going to try to talk to Mrs. T tomorrow when difficult child isn't around. I want to find out how this will affect things if he continues to do this. I don't really want to "give in" to him and I AM a firm believer in natural consequences. I'm just so angry that he's THIS close to graduating and he's already pulling his attitude.
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Stang, I'm so sorry. What a mess. Hope he gets his act together by tomorrow.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Does he need all 7 classes? I am supposing he needs 7 credits right? And the study hall counts as 1 credit? Am I correct?

    Is there anyway to switch his schedule around so that the study hall ends up being smack dab in the middle of the day?
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I think that this is a battle you will lose....

    But perhaps you can offer him a clever compromise? My high school used to put study halls last on purpose to encourage seniors to accept internships with area businesses for school credit. Seniors would leave school early to go get real world work experience. Employers loved it because these positions were unpaid internships and the students loved leaving school early.

    If your school does not already have such a program, maybe you and the SD could arrange a special deal for difficult child? There must be SOME business near the school that would love to offer him an internship....and if the school could give him credit for that "course" it could be a win-win (especially if he did well and actually ended up earning a paid job out of it after graduation!).

    Just an idea...

  5. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I imagine with the other six classes, he could benefit from having a study hall at the end of the day but I guess difficult child doesn't see it that way. difficult child logic is not always clear to the rest of us. I hope the school is willing overlook his early departure or difficult child decides to stay put for all seven period and you all survive the semester and finish with diploma in hand.

    Good Luck!
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Is there a fun elective he can get into that last period? Does he like art, shop, whatever?

    Maybe he can help out one of the teachers on the days he doesn't have or want to do the homework at that time. Especially if it is a teacher that he has most of the homework in. That teacher can encourage/help him in the homework and once done he can help the teacher somehow?

    Can he help the office deliver notes to teachers, individual notes to kids?
  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    stang, this is going to be a battle you aren't going to win.

    Does he have a plan what he will do when he graduates? if he graduates?
    In true difficult child family dynamics, mom(me too) want graduation more than difficult child does. His choices are school by the rules, drop out and get full time work or GED. It might be time to think about the whole disengaging thing. I told difficult child after the first post high school program that I will never ever make or push him to another class. It was torture for him and for me and nothing ever came from it. He was shocked that I gave up. It was a bit of a light bulb moment. He had fought us for so long and now there was no one to fight with.

    Typical kids will party or hang out then get bored but difficult child's tend to sit around spinning their wheels and blaming their parents for their miserable lives. LOL.

    I got lots of those calls too so I feel your frustration.
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    They used to do this to us, too. If we left before the end of the day without a workstudy, we wouldn't graduate. BUT... I like the idea of in the middle of the day - just NOT at lunch time. 2nd or 6th period would be best! From personal experience.

    His day was fine till then?
  9. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Far as I know, his day went off without a hitch up until 7th period. Then again, the school doesn't bother calling me much anymore unless it's something kind of big and/or he leaves the premesis.

    husband tried to talk to him last night about this also but difficult child is adamant. I've got a call in to Mrs. T to see what, if anything, we can do.

    Also, far as I know, difficult child only needs the 6 classes. If we add one, I'm worried that we'll jinx things somehow even though he could technically flunk that class and still graduate as long as he passes the others. I can easily see him getting a great grade in that class and flunking a couple of the required classes. :slap:

    I guess I'll know more after I speak with Mrs. T.
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member he only needs 6 credits but he is supposed to stay on the school grounds the whole 7 classes. If he leaves at the end of 6 classes he is in trouble. Can they just not let him leave then? I mean what is the big deal if he leaves when his classes are done? I am kinda with him on this one. Seems sorta stupid to just sit at school with nothing to difficult child thinking coming out. In HS...I would have ditched too.
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    OMG I can't believe I'm going to say this - but.......I'm with him.

    They really need to adjust his IEP to reflect that if his credits allow him to graduate with six credits and he is doing well in his classes ie: keeping his grades up - and doesn't need 7th period study hall - does his homework - then leave it.

    HOWEVER - if grades slip - looking like no graduation- goofing off - then add the 7th period as a study hall - until he brings the grades UP - then let him have his freedom back.

    Could that be an option?
  12. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green


    What is it with difficult child's and their talent at putting OTHERS between a rock and a hard place? :crazy2:

    I spoke with Mrs. T. If difficult child does NOT schedule a class for 7th period, according to school policy he HAS to leave. If something were to happen (fire in the school for example) and he was there, no one would KNOW he was there so no one would make sure he was out of the building. Technically he would be tresspassing and the school would not be liable.

    If he DOES schedule a study hall and decides that he doesn't need/want it and leaves...he'll be truant. Also, in that case if there was a fire, people would waste time and possibly put themselves at risk looking for him.

    I know difficult child. If he schedules a study hall, I KNOW he won't stay every day or much at all. I know this, that's just how he is. But...I think he SHOULD do it because his classes are senior classes. He WILL have homework most days. He is the king of missing assignments and the study hall could really benefit him. On the other hand, odds are that he won't do much in study hall anyway but draw. (or sleep)

    I also found out that he missed passing one of his classes last year by TWO POINTS. Two. He had a major project due in Holocaust class and didn't attempt to turn it in until 2 weeks after the due date. He went to Mrs. T and asked her to go with him to talk to the teacher about accepting it late and giving him at least two points. When they talked to the teacher though, she said that under different circumstances, she would consider doing it. BUT, since this was difficult child's SECOND time taking this class, he KNEW what the project was and when it was due, she wasn't going to do it. And honestly, I don't blame her one bit. She's right. difficult child had enough of it done when it was due that he could have received partial credit and had more than enough points to pass the class and get his credit. This never occured to him even though that has been explained to him soooooooooooooooooooooo many times over the years. (ie: partial credit is much better than a big fat zero)

    So...our options are:

    1. Have him schedule the study hall and hope that he will use it to his advantage or at the very least, STAY.

    2. Let him have his difficult child way and leave after 6th period and hope that he brings his homework home so we can help. (Also, Mrs. T said that he is more than welcome to stop in her room after 6th period and she will help him make sure he's got everything he needs and is organized.)

    I'm going to tell husband the options and then we'll sit down and talk to difficult child. There are things that I don't think he's considered in regards to leaving early that he needs to think about. Namely, working or not, if he chooses to leave early, I'm not going to pick him up and he'll have to walk home. Not a problem now but I know he hasn't considered what that will be like as the weather changes. Rain, wind, snow, c-c-c-cold....these things haven't entered his mind. I will support and help him if he's making the effort. But if he poo-poos the idea of staying and helping himself.....he can figure out how to get home.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear.
    I am so sorry. What a mess. I've got my fingers crossed for you!