Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The week of difficult child's birthday---in middle of it
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 631657" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>These rituals and celebrations can br so hard, bring out so much yearning, so much questioning. I feel for you here.</p><p></p><p>I've been kind of eased into it. difficult child was in a therapeutic boarding school when he turned 16. When he turned 18 he was in an alcohol rehab center. This Christmas he was in jail. When he turned 20 we were in no contact. </p><p></p><p>I'm used to it now. I kind of doubt it will ever make me sad again. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am so glad to hear this. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is kind of an amazing thing, isn't it? I've heard it over and over...and the book the Mole People, which Lucy and I have both read, (its about people living in tunnels under New York), makes a big deal of that. I remember Cedar talking about what her daughter told her...or was it Recovering? about how they check on each other, have their routines. My son has more than once described his days on the street to me...there is a sense of rhythm and structure to it, and sometimes a sense of caring. The sad part to me is that the "friends" disappear, they turn over pretty fast..they die, go to jail, move along, get hospitalized. There are no enduring relationships.</p><p></p><p>Still, it must be nice for him to feel like he has peers, people who care for him, and an old guy who will give him 3 bucks. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh I so so so hope for you that you can stay off the wheel...use your tools my friend. Go to Al Anon, pray, meditate, lose yourself in the smell of the beef burgundy. Light a white candle. Buy flowers with scent. Hold SO's face and look in his eyes for 30 seconds (it is a surprisingly long time).</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>if their talk were good enough a lot of us (including you and me via our difficult children) would be in a pretty great place. But..we aren't, so....</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>CAN I COME????</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Child, you can do this. You know how. You want to. You know it is best. You will be with your two sweet boys, you wlll have made a meal for them, it will be lovely. Be there, look at their faces, watch him blow out his candles. Let him be a man, separate from you. He is choosing his path, making his way. Allow. Breathe. Be there. You can do this, Child.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a wonderful thing. I remember when he cursed at you when he got out of the car. You are so good at seeing and feeling the good moments. You sat there and spent time. You were present. It was good. Bring that to the birthday dinner tomorrow. It will be good again. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That is a lovely thing. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is a very minor character from Hamlet, a guard (letting my english major freak flag fly)</p><p></p><p>This quote got me through a lot of the winter. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":wine:" title="wine :wine:" data-shortname=":wine:" /></p><p></p><p>That is just the tip of the iceberg! </p><p></p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 631657, member: 17269"] These rituals and celebrations can br so hard, bring out so much yearning, so much questioning. I feel for you here. I've been kind of eased into it. difficult child was in a therapeutic boarding school when he turned 16. When he turned 18 he was in an alcohol rehab center. This Christmas he was in jail. When he turned 20 we were in no contact. I'm used to it now. I kind of doubt it will ever make me sad again. I am so glad to hear this. This is kind of an amazing thing, isn't it? I've heard it over and over...and the book the Mole People, which Lucy and I have both read, (its about people living in tunnels under New York), makes a big deal of that. I remember Cedar talking about what her daughter told her...or was it Recovering? about how they check on each other, have their routines. My son has more than once described his days on the street to me...there is a sense of rhythm and structure to it, and sometimes a sense of caring. The sad part to me is that the "friends" disappear, they turn over pretty fast..they die, go to jail, move along, get hospitalized. There are no enduring relationships. Still, it must be nice for him to feel like he has peers, people who care for him, and an old guy who will give him 3 bucks. Oh I so so so hope for you that you can stay off the wheel...use your tools my friend. Go to Al Anon, pray, meditate, lose yourself in the smell of the beef burgundy. Light a white candle. Buy flowers with scent. Hold SO's face and look in his eyes for 30 seconds (it is a surprisingly long time). if their talk were good enough a lot of us (including you and me via our difficult children) would be in a pretty great place. But..we aren't, so.... CAN I COME???? Child, you can do this. You know how. You want to. You know it is best. You will be with your two sweet boys, you wlll have made a meal for them, it will be lovely. Be there, look at their faces, watch him blow out his candles. Let him be a man, separate from you. He is choosing his path, making his way. Allow. Breathe. Be there. You can do this, Child. This is a wonderful thing. I remember when he cursed at you when he got out of the car. You are so good at seeing and feeling the good moments. You sat there and spent time. You were present. It was good. Bring that to the birthday dinner tomorrow. It will be good again. That is a lovely thing. It is a very minor character from Hamlet, a guard (letting my english major freak flag fly) This quote got me through a lot of the winter. :2: That is just the tip of the iceberg! Echo [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The week of difficult child's birthday---in middle of it
Top