The White Tornado Strikes All Day


call 911
Hi Family, (rainclouds I tell ya)

Not to make a spittin' contest out of our difficult children day to day actions, but I just was wondering if ANYONE in the world had to put up with a child like mine.

For a window view of my day I'll share one hour that is like all the other hours unless difficult child is sleeping. I'm genuinely curious.

Last night after 3 months of Department of Juvenile Justice and 19 days of living at home without so much as taking out the trash (and much begging) difficult child finally agreed to pay me back for some of the phone calls and canteen money by washing my SUV. It's an older one so the paint will never be shiney and the interior is in good shape, but I use armorall to keep it polished.

So he agrees it's worth $10.00 to do a great job. And in one hours time:

I have ice on my floor from the cup he had to have for a drink because it is hot out.
Koolaid on my new rugs, floor, counters, sink and down the front of the fridge and inside the crisper where it splashed. It's red, it stained.
My cleaning supplies are gone! He's used them to clean his tennis shoe collection. He used Mean Green, Pledge furniture polish, Windex, Clorox everywhere spray, and All of these were full and new before he came home.
He used the pool brush to scrub my tires and car
He used my best "guest only" wash cloths as rags to wipe down the inside and then after using all my everyday washcloths to lay on top his head ??? He got up in the linen closet and opened and took 3 more brand new washcloths to wipe the tires with.
He put Aluminum Mag wheel cleaner & polish ($8.95) on a washcloth, did not follow directions, and then took that rag with the wheel polish on it and WIPED DOWN the grey interior of my SUV...and it left marks EVERYWHERE...looks like I waxed the interior of my dash, door panels, steering wheel...argh.
He used Maguires car wax on my inside windows, forgot to clean the outside but said they should be clean after he scrubbed them with the pool brush
He took the hose and put it IN the car on the running boards and now when I get in the car on a hot day my glasses steam up and it stinks like wet newspaper
He left all the waterbottles from my back seat and papers lying on the ground, receipts, deposit tickets are blown all over the neighborhood.
He split the hose and left it running because it was watering the lawn??
And when it was ALL done? He put my car in neutral and pushed it 200 yards towards the house and almost ran over the double gate.

Then when he came in to get me saying a job well done, was done. I walked out and saw ALL the stuff I mentioned above - did NOT freak out, but merely asked what was on my dash and he kicked stuff, threw stuff and said "You never appreciate ANYTHING I do." making a twisted up face and mocking me he went into the house, slammed every door on the way in and managed to scream at the dog,turned filthy lyrical rap music up to the loudest setting, locked his door, opened the windows (air on) and sat on his bed mocking me.

It wasn't until his dad knocked louder than me on hid door did we see that EVERY single piece of clothing he owns was on the floor, cups 1/2 full of drinks, koolaid on the rug, a brand new bag of potato chips smashed and ground into the carpet, all my blankets from the linen closet all over as if he had tried to make a fort, busted bike parts...and the lamp in his room with the shade off lying sideways. No sheets on the bed, shoes everywhere and a porn book hanging out of his drawer. When questioned about his actions He SCREAMED at me at the top of his lungs that I'm always nagging and never appreciate anything he does and that he'll clean up the mess when he's good and ready. We also noticed that he had drank in less than a 12 hour period 3 gallons of milk ate every chip and cookie in the house and refused to eat dinner at dinner time. He got up at 2:00 in the morning banging around and slamming things in the kitchen to have the dinner we had at 7:00.

*Reminder* this is ONE HOUR of my life with this child. And this was a milder incident. I should tell you about all my household cleaners being taken even Furniture polish used up to make his tennis shoes shiney. :dance:

I try to remember that when I'm blue :sad:...I should take a breath.

And how about you? Give us a typical hour in the day of the life of YOU.

Hugs & Understanding.
ps. If I ever see the patience faiery again I'm going to stomp the pixy dust out of it. No one should have to exist like this.

-and yet they say he's brilliant. :future:


New Member
I'm sorry. I read your other post in disbelief and sorrow that anyone has to live in such a world of chaos. If your son was 8 with severe ADHD, the above behavior would make some sense. At 17, it makes none.

I think I'd be calling whomever and saying said "boy" is now residing at the nearest homeless shelter and they might be able to pick him up there but there is no way he is staying another minute in my home. It is too dangerous, disruptive, unhealthy, insane.

That they insisted he stay with you makes no sense. I so hate that DCFS so frequently will just dump a chld back to where it is most convenient for them. Not necessarily the best thing for the child nor the family, but the easiest route and then give little to no assistance after said dumping.

Many, many HUGS.


Active Member
starbie, been wondering where you been. sad to hear you been just north of h L L
God bless and send some angels to relieve you. sigh.


Worlds Best Nana
<span style="color: #FF0000"> <span style='font-family: Arial Black'><span style='font-size: 20pt'> STARBIE! </span> </span></span>

Welcome home...sorry you needed to come back! I just found the Loan Ranger Post. Sorry about your recent health problems :ill: YIKES!! Another living arrangment for stardude needs to be found and PRONTO! I can't believe they made you take him home, and that he's being such a %$!&gt;*#@.

We've missed you!
Sending ((HUGS)) and prayers that things improve - :future:



Gosh, hate to hear that Stardude is still so out of hand.

Really sorry to hear about your health issues, and hope you are recovering quickly.

Welcome back!

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Star I was wondering if this was you. Even amidst h#ll you have a sense of humor I'd recognize anywhere.

Aw shucks hon.... (((((hugs)))))

Til you got to the part about his room I was wondering if stardude lacked all mode of common sense.

Other than the shoes, Travis would/has done similar things when doing chores. Not out of malice....(took alot of observation to believe it) but lack of common sense. The boy has zero. And heck, even Nichole has been known to do things like wash down the baby's playhouse with soft scrub instead of cheapo delux comet, and dry the dogs on new towels.

No one should have to live like this. :smile:
My younger brother (bless his difficult child heart) washed my mom's only new car (he was only FIVE) with Comet.

Scratched the hells out of it.


Well-Known Member
Staff member

I don't think my worst YEAR with my difficult child adds up to that one hour that you described. No wonder you had a heart attack. I know that I would have.

I think it would have come down to him or me. :rofl:

I may be little but I'm fiesty. Seriously, though, I am worried about him hurting you or your DF. He has got to go! No one can live like that.



Well-Known Member
Geez Louise! I'm really glad to see you are alive and kickin'
but I don't blame you a bit if you wished otherwise.

There just plain has to be a light at the end of this wretched
tunnel that you've lived in for years. Sending supportive hugs
your way. DDD


Well-Known Member
Hey star...Sorry to hear that you are living with Corys younger brother...sigh. I think we have the "good luck" of being the two parents with the sociopaths...sigh.


Active Member
OMG! As I live and breathe, it's Starbie Barbie ! She's returned! :smile:

I sure wish my thoughts of you sunning yourself on a beach somewhere with a cute little umbrella drink would have been the real reason you've been away. So sorry to hear that things are what they are.

Shaking my head. I can't imagine living like that.

Sending mega hugs,


oh..went through that same thing when difficult child tried washing my car with baking soda. (black car) Same day, tried to get the drain to work better with vinegar and baking soda...somehow a volcano in the pipes is going to clean it out. Used three boxes of baking soda. Tried to wipe up the spilled mess in the bathroom and kitchen table/floor with a towel...smearing white residue all over. Kool-aid..seems to always be RED!!! Lit a RED candle in his room, knocked it over and spilled red wax all over his carpet. Then tried to use the iron to get it off the rug. So now I have a red iron mark melted into the carpet. Didn't know the iron would get that hot!

Yes...I have the same experience some days. These are the days he "wants" to help me.

Pam R

New Member
Nope, Star, no contest. Your's has beat mine by 100 miles. :smile:

But on a lesser level, yeah, I can relate. :hammer:

I sure hope that placement comes through early.

Lots of hugs,

Pam R.


Active Member
I am with you girl..........I have an almost 17 year old....and I have had days close, not quite, but almost as close to yours with my son! I currently cannot conjure up a tale to tell that is even semi-equivocal to yours......but I know the drill. Especially the "You don't appreciate anything I do!" After they have just attempted to do you a favor THEIR way that's left a wake in YOUR path similar to a tidal wive! I currently ask for few favors or chores, because the aftermath is worse than any "help" he may offer - which is sad.