The x - Dude and the first phone call /13 years

Lori4ever

New Member
Wow. that's amazing! That goes to show what an awesome job you have done in raising him, what a man he is truely becoming! And I'm thrilled hat he is paying back money owed. He must be as proud of himself as you and DF are of him! Tell him I'm proud of him, too!!!
He really has come such a long way, I'm just sorry he heard from that man at all. That is amazing, but sad.
 

goldenguru

Active Member
Well not exactly a textbook 'happy ending' - but there is much to be happy about in this story. Dude did well Star. You should take pride in the young man he is becoming - in spite of half of his gene pool.

Thanks for sharing this.
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
Ha! Star, I will never forget a Mothers Day card my son gave me when he was a teenager. I still have it. Little stick figure guy on the front and it said, "You know Mom, I think I turned out pretty well!" On the inside it said " ... especially considering that I had half of Dad's genes to contend with!"

Only he and I knew that it was NOT a joke! :D
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Thank you everyone - your words and opinions are very precious to me.

Donna - THAT is by far the funniest card I have EVER read. OMG he should go work for Hallmark.

I often said I'd like to start a card company for people with REAL issues. I mean HOW do you send a card to a mother who's kid is in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for the third time in a year and looking at possible charges for home invasion?

Hallmark is for happy people......lol. I would hire your son.

I think I'd call the company -
REALITY BITES....and all the cards would have a dog on them somewhere.
 

PonyGirl

Warrior Parent
Heartbreaking AND Encouraging all at once! WOW I can't imagine how hard it must've been for you to sit on your lips Starbie. I am so proud of Dude, but I think I am even more proud of YOU!

Not just for your response to Dude while he told the story, but also because YOU gave him the tools he needed in order to respond to his "father" in the way that he did!!

Nice Job, My Friend, I admire your grace!!

Peace
 

mrscatinthehat

Seussical
Wow, it is amazing when they realize the reality. I am so glad he handled it in such a even keel way. Many hugs to you for sitting and being able to let him talk about it.

beth
 

mstang67chic

Going Green
nm'[-;p] <------Sorry bout that. Chester got on the computer. AGAIN.

Wow. I'm very impressed with Dude. Talk about your favorite detachment phrases! You be sure to give him a big hug from Auntie Stang and Cloe. I think part of me thinks that Dude KNEW but needed to hear it for himself. The other part though.....that had to have been hard for him and I'm sorry he had to hear all that carp. But....he HAS heard it and now he KNOWS. I just wish he never had to, you know?

Duh. Of course you do.

Anyway, hugs to you both.

Oh, and I've got a fabulous shovel out in the garage. Once we dig the hole, we can go look for a lovely flower pot to put on top. You know...the recycled kind.

That used to be a toilet.


Fitting for an ******* doncha think?
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
That really is awesome, Star! He showed a great deal of maturity to handle it the way he did and I'm really proud of him. And I think you gave him the groundwork to come to his own conclusions in his own time.

It's a painful thing but kind of liberating in a way. My ex was there when the kids were growing up but it was awful for them! He treated the two of them completely different - could care less about our son and didn't bother to hide it, while he sort of cultivated our daughter. He "used" both of them but in different ways. My son always knew his "father" was a schmuck but he never talked about it - I know that the way he was treated made him feel very bad. My daughter always felt obligated to feel sorry for him, tried to understand him, to stand up for him, until he "used" her one time too many, and now both kids are on the same page. My son was in his mid-twenties before he finally felt free enough to talk about it, and it's been very liberating for him! He always had it in the back of his mind that he was somehow to blame, that he just wasn't good enough, that it must have been his fault. Now they know better! He still has a great deal of anger, and it sometimes comes out at the wrong target, but he's a lot better. He's finally confident in himself enough to get MAD about it, and it was a real turning point for him. He seems so relieved that it's all out in the open now, and he knows that it wasn't him! His father is just a donkey-butt!

I know this must have all been very painful for Dude, but in the long run it cleared the air and now he's looking at it from adult point of view at a very young age. You should be very proud of him.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
I think the best part is that I'm no longer the "YOU HATE MY DAD" person. I have no reason to hate him or care less - but worried at some point that it would end up being a me vs. him thing. Since he's the original maniuplator I knew he'd win. And yet? He lost.
 
Gosh, Star*. I too am proud of the Dude for handling it so well and I think you are entitled to a large helping of sweet vindication, a nice low-cal dessert after a truly awful 15-course force-fed meal of pure you-know-what.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
I'll take the high road any day - or the path less taken.

And thanks for the compliment HWGA - coming from a PRIZE SPECIMINE I have to say thank you. (OMG that should have come with a warning) I have coffee all over now.
 
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