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<blockquote data-quote="susanga" data-source="post: 12335" data-attributes="member: 3406"><p>Thanks again everyone. I had a major emotional breakdown over this last night. I was wishing so badly that my mother was alive - she was a straight shooter and would have said (I can hear her now) - DO NOT SEND THAT BOY AWAY. Everyone I know is telling me to send him, and send him NOW! But, ya know what? I am his mom, momma, mommie. He is my son. I am in no way blind to his behaviors. But I AM the one who knows him best. I know his heart. I know his head. And I have had this voice telling me NO NO NO for the last 3 days. I know Tim well enough to know that he would feel abandoned. Hell, I would feel abandoned. I couldn't live with myself. Tim and I are very close and I want to talk to him every day. At almost 15 years old he doesn't know if he wants to ride his skateboard or curl up with Mom on the couch and watch a movie.</p><p></p><p>His Dad (we've been divorced 10 years and the new wife is not very compassionate) really wanted this, and I drank the Kool Aid. After I had a cooling off period I realized that with patience, a lot of love, and tons of diligence, stick with-itness, encouraging him, talking him through things, I CAN DO THIS. And, I am not going to send my son. I have full legal and physical custody so his Dad can't do anything about my decision. Yeah, the wonderful Dad made sure I had "legal' custody - shows how much faith he has in his son.</p><p></p><p>God Blessed me with this little miracle. Ya see, I wanted to be a Mom all my life. I couldn't have children so we adopted this adorable little baby. I was in the delivery room when he was born. From a spiritual stand point, I beleive we all chose our parents, even adoptees. And I imagine that it takes some major planning on God's part and the souls of these little babies to find their way to us, as their parents. After all of the work he did to find me, I just can't send him away. I am still proud to be his Mother. And I want to be the best Mother I can be to my son. I am determined to make this work. If I have to totally change my way of living, move, sacrifice, whatever it takes. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for everybody's input. Advice is a wonderful thing; You take everything everyone says, process it, and it becomes a part of your decision. But only a part. Becuase the decision is ultimately yours, and was always there to begin with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susanga, post: 12335, member: 3406"] Thanks again everyone. I had a major emotional breakdown over this last night. I was wishing so badly that my mother was alive - she was a straight shooter and would have said (I can hear her now) - DO NOT SEND THAT BOY AWAY. Everyone I know is telling me to send him, and send him NOW! But, ya know what? I am his mom, momma, mommie. He is my son. I am in no way blind to his behaviors. But I AM the one who knows him best. I know his heart. I know his head. And I have had this voice telling me NO NO NO for the last 3 days. I know Tim well enough to know that he would feel abandoned. Hell, I would feel abandoned. I couldn't live with myself. Tim and I are very close and I want to talk to him every day. At almost 15 years old he doesn't know if he wants to ride his skateboard or curl up with Mom on the couch and watch a movie. His Dad (we've been divorced 10 years and the new wife is not very compassionate) really wanted this, and I drank the Kool Aid. After I had a cooling off period I realized that with patience, a lot of love, and tons of diligence, stick with-itness, encouraging him, talking him through things, I CAN DO THIS. And, I am not going to send my son. I have full legal and physical custody so his Dad can't do anything about my decision. Yeah, the wonderful Dad made sure I had "legal' custody - shows how much faith he has in his son. God Blessed me with this little miracle. Ya see, I wanted to be a Mom all my life. I couldn't have children so we adopted this adorable little baby. I was in the delivery room when he was born. From a spiritual stand point, I beleive we all chose our parents, even adoptees. And I imagine that it takes some major planning on God's part and the souls of these little babies to find their way to us, as their parents. After all of the work he did to find me, I just can't send him away. I am still proud to be his Mother. And I want to be the best Mother I can be to my son. I am determined to make this work. If I have to totally change my way of living, move, sacrifice, whatever it takes. Thanks for everybody's input. Advice is a wonderful thing; You take everything everyone says, process it, and it becomes a part of your decision. But only a part. Becuase the decision is ultimately yours, and was always there to begin with. [/QUOTE]
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