Therapy

[crazymama30]

Well, difficult child will start therapy with psychiatrist sometime soon. His secretary will call me today and we will set up an appointment. I really hope difficult child will cooperate with him, I realize that he probably will not for awhile, but hopefully eventually.

psychiatrist asked for a list of behaviors/sympotms they could work on so they can measure progress. Part of me wanted to ask, after 3 yrs why do you need one??? Then I started writing things down. His bossiness, his persistance in getting what he wants (if he asks a question he thinks it should be answered right away, and gets upset if he is told to wait) I want him to learn to play well with others and not brag about winning or being the best, and I want him to learn to say no to friends if they want him to make a bad decision.

Are these realistic things to work on in therapy? This is our first go at it.

 

[TerryJ2]

Sounds good to me.
We've worked on bossiness, too. And defiance. We're still working on that one!
We sometimes have to imitate his voice and body language to show him what we mean by that, because if you just say "defiance," "Bullying" or whatever, he won't get it. Too abstract. And, he'll just deny it.
So when we repeat the sentences in a particular situation, he'll say, "OOOhhhh, that. I just meant ..." and then we can correct him and do role playing.
Delayed gratification, whether in buying something or getting a question answered, is a big one. Our therapist always suggests a shortened time with-a warning, and then lengthening the time bit by bit. We use the timer on the microwave a lot.
Any mechanical equipment you can use that will take your "Mom voice" out of the equation will help objectify things and diffuse explosions. Because face it, we're our kids' favorite targets!
Best of luck. I hope you get some good, practical ideas in therapy.

 

[Shari]

I suggest you keep a journal of what exasperates you each day. I find sometimes that every day offers new challenges, and sometimes I lose track of yesterday's if I don't write it down.

 

[Christy]

Yes. They are realistic things to work on but it is probably best to tackle one issue at a time starting with the one that causes the biggest problem for difficult child and your family. Will you be included in the sessions?
Good Luck!

 

[crazymama30]

I keep a journal on difficult child's behaviors, and have for over a year. I guess I will read back through. I think I will be included, at least for the first part of the session and then I get "kicked out" so psychiatrist can work with difficult child. As I look back, I think most of difficult child's issues are due to anxiety, which he is not medicated for right now. I hear the statement "he gets so worked up" and "he is so intense" quite a bit. I am not sure if we will medicate for anxiety, or do therapy, or what. This is all new to me. I even start therapy on Monday. Wow, what a thing to start together. At least we will see different docs.

 

[ML]

I'm glad to hear you are going to t for you. Taking care of yourself is so important and we moms truly need it every bit as much as the difficult children do.

xo

ML