Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Oct 11, 2009.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Ok. I've decided to go to Marriage Counseling alone. I went through the stupid "providers" book from my insurance. I need some help with a few things.

    They only list them as "psychiatrists, psychologists, or social workers", so I'm going to have to call them to see what kind of therapists they are. What I mean is marriage counselors, trauma, etc. You know, sort of what they focus on.

    Is there anything else that I should ask while I'm on with them? I'm assuming that they have someone answering their phone.

    Do most of the marriage counselors also do individual therapy or is that something that I need to check with.

    I told husband that I was going and he just stood there. I told him that he's welcome to come, but I was going to help sort out what was going on so that I could make the decisions/changes that I need to make and that if that had to be done with only MY perspective then so be it.

    I think he thinks he's calling my bluff.

    Let's put it this way: I kick :censored2: in poker.

    Can any of you guys let me know what I need to know before I go into this? I don't want this to drag out going to one and then the other. Also, for those of you who've gone through this stuff, have you tried males or females? Did you feel that males were more likely to provide a little more insight to the male psyche?

    I just need to feel in my heart that I put everything into this so that if things really end, I'll know that I tried.

    I love him, but he's really on the last raw nerve. I'm sick of the ambivilence, the sanctimony and this passive aggressive stuff. Today, I took the DEMONS (no joke) to the farms to pumpkin pick, Wild West Show, corn maze etc. We got to watch the Wild West Show and difficult child 1 and 2 started to have a very heated shoving match in the food section. I broke it up, escorted all 4 back to the car and proceeded to take them home while difficult child 1 shouted, yelled and cursed. When he told me to shut the "f" up, I said something REALLY foul (I haven't used this turn of phrase since I was 12 or 13 myself) but it shut him up for the rest of the ride home. I haven't talked to him since. husband wouldn't come with us but wanted me to tell him ALL about it. I just told him it stunk but it had been handled. He kept asking, but I just refused to involve him. I know, I'm being a witch, but he'll use if for an "I told you so" later on. Why bother?

    Sorry for dumping on you guys. It's been rough.

  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Personal opinion: If you ever hope to have husband join you at marriage counseling, you might want to go with a male. It's more likely that he would listen to a male than a female. But that's JMHO.

    Does your provider book separate out psychiatrists from psychologists and social workers? Psychiatrists are unlikely to be marriage counselors.

    Unfortunately, many mental health providers don't have secretaries answering their phones. You may have to leave a lot of messages and hope for call-backs. It's best to leave your cell phone number so you don't miss their return calls.

    Hugs. I'm sorry you're going through this.
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I agree with sw on the male thing, I know my husband would do best with a man.

    When I chose my therapist, I asked difficult child's therapist who she would reccomend. Could you ask a psychiatrist, therapist or someone in the field to reccomend someone?

    This stuff hoovers big time.