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They are fine at school...
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 45843" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Totoro, my difficult child has a remarkable way of holding it together at school and then venting at home. In his early elementary years it wasn't uncommon for him to blow within a minute or two of getting into the van. Sometimes it was a direct result of something that occured during the day but othertimes it was just releasing the pent up steam from having to hold it together all day. Because I've seen him before, during, and after that transition I really don't fault the teachers. He can hide it well plus they have 24 other students in the class so it's unrealistic that they are going to be tuned in to how he's feeling every moment of the day like I would be at home. That level of attention would be possible with a 1:1 aide, but definitely not to be expected from a classroom teacher.</p><p></p><p>There were also many times that they did recognize something was up from his behaviors or facial expressions and offer redirection in the form of a classroom break, change in activity within the classroom, verbal exchange to try and work out what was bothering him, etc. Last year I remember his teacher catching me after school to let me know they'd had a looong and loud music assembly and that she could just see the overload he was dealing with. She'd offered him and out but he decided to stay with the class despite the assault.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child is in 4th grade now and these days I'm thinking that it's important to strike a balance. I would be very concerned if the teachers never noticed anything at all because that would suggest to me that they either weren't very in tune with my child or that the student to teacher ratio wasn't appropriate for my child's needs. There are times when it's very appropriate for a teacher to step in, but difficult child's do need the opportunity to learn to hold it together and to learn coping skills and that won't occur if an adult is stepping in every time they see them struggling. When they are emotionally up to the task, it's important to nudge them along and sometimes that means letting them struggle a bit. There have been times when a teacher has told me she'd seen my difficult child struggling over something but decided to give him a little time to see if he could work it out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 45843, member: 701"] Totoro, my difficult child has a remarkable way of holding it together at school and then venting at home. In his early elementary years it wasn't uncommon for him to blow within a minute or two of getting into the van. Sometimes it was a direct result of something that occured during the day but othertimes it was just releasing the pent up steam from having to hold it together all day. Because I've seen him before, during, and after that transition I really don't fault the teachers. He can hide it well plus they have 24 other students in the class so it's unrealistic that they are going to be tuned in to how he's feeling every moment of the day like I would be at home. That level of attention would be possible with a 1:1 aide, but definitely not to be expected from a classroom teacher. There were also many times that they did recognize something was up from his behaviors or facial expressions and offer redirection in the form of a classroom break, change in activity within the classroom, verbal exchange to try and work out what was bothering him, etc. Last year I remember his teacher catching me after school to let me know they'd had a looong and loud music assembly and that she could just see the overload he was dealing with. She'd offered him and out but he decided to stay with the class despite the assault. My difficult child is in 4th grade now and these days I'm thinking that it's important to strike a balance. I would be very concerned if the teachers never noticed anything at all because that would suggest to me that they either weren't very in tune with my child or that the student to teacher ratio wasn't appropriate for my child's needs. There are times when it's very appropriate for a teacher to step in, but difficult child's do need the opportunity to learn to hold it together and to learn coping skills and that won't occur if an adult is stepping in every time they see them struggling. When they are emotionally up to the task, it's important to nudge them along and sometimes that means letting them struggle a bit. There have been times when a teacher has told me she'd seen my difficult child struggling over something but decided to give him a little time to see if he could work it out. [/QUOTE]
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